


More Than Love Really, More Than Words

by AesthticRose101



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Background Relationships, Bottom!Sam, Bucky is undercover, Coffee Shops, Dinner Parties, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Time Together, Fluff, Happy Ending, He works at SHIELD, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Idiots in Love, KindaCanon!Bucky, M/M, My First Fanfic, Nurse!Sam, Romance, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Slow Burn, Smut, Soft Boys, This is pure fluff, Top Bucky Barnes, Top Bucky Barnes/Bottom Sam Wilson, Top!Bucky, awkward at first, different seasons, just a little bit, moving in, sorry - Freeform, they all live in Brooklyn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-04 11:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20470529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AesthticRose101/pseuds/AesthticRose101
Summary: After Sam has moved into his new apartment, he notices that his new neighbour is a little weird and totally out of place. After having a rocky first meeting Sam and his neighbour start to warm up to each other and maybe even fall in love.Im sorry, I suck at summaries.





	1. Chapter 1

The rain was pouring steady over the streets of Brooklyn. It was early morning, just about 7:45am but the streets were busy with people trying to get to work. All that was to be heard by the honking of cars, the rain hitting umbrellas, and feet stepping in puddles. Sam stood on the side of the street in front of a brown brick apartment building, similar to the many ones seen around the city. He was holding a navy blue umbrella, while he directed the movers bustling in and out of the moving truck. Sam was not too happy. Usually he is a morning person, waking up early, going for a run, then coming back for a hearty breakfast. But today was an exception.  
  
Sam was beyond grateful that he was able to get the nursing job that he had been waiting for. Sam did go to school for nursing and originally planned to get a job at any hospital that would take him. However, things did not always go to plan. After he graduated with his degree and certificate there weren't many jobs taking nurses, as at the time it was a very overfilled occupation. Sam even contemplated moving out of New York to get a nursing job, but Sams heart was in New York and not elsewhere. So he stayed and got a job at a therapy company specializing in people suffering in different types of PTSD. He wasn't a therapist or anything, he only worked on front desk, but he did learn a whole lot while working there and met a bunch of amazing people. He was working at that building for many years until recently when St John's Hospital approved his resume and wanted him to fill in their nursing position. As soon as he found a new apartment, Sam packed up his much smaller apartment in Harlem and dragged his ass to Brooklyn.

Which leads him to now. Cold, shivering and wet. Overall, Sam was just tired. It's been a stressful month of saying goodbye to the people at his previous workplace and finding an affordable home to live. The market has been unreasonably high these last couple of years making it difficult to find a good place. So with everything finally done, Sam is overwhelmingly tired. Resulting in him being not in a good mood. All Sam wants to do is go take a nice hot shower, put on some clean clothes and have a nice hot cup of coffee, even though he has no furniture to sit on except for his mattress.

“Can you sign here, please?” The man in a white cap with the moving logo on it came up to him with a clipboard and pen in hand. Sam silently took the pen and quickly wrote his initials on the dotted line, not even bothering to read what he was signing.

“Thanks. All of your stuff is in your new apartment. Enjoy.” The man took the pen back and walked back to his truck with the three other movers.

As soon as the truck left Sam made his way up to his new home. He’s only seen this place twice. Once was online when he was looking at the listing and the second time was when he came to secure his payments with the realtor. Sam decided to take the elevator up to his apartment, not really wanting to walk up the stairs in wet jeans.

He clicked on the 8th floor and closed his eyes on the way up as he just listening to his breathing. Once out of the elevator he walked down the quiet hall. _It's still early so most people must still be asleep_. Sam soon came face to face with his new door.

Just before he opened up the door beside him opened and stepped out a middle aged man with his short hair parted on the side, a thick mustache and wearing a serious dad outfit. Sam quickly gave him a small and tired smile as a ‘hello’. The man didn't smile back, only raised his eyebrows up and down quickly and walked down the hall. _Well that was weird._

Sam didn't think much about the encounter once he stepped into his apartment. He looked around at his environment: boxes, boxes, more boxes and oh even more boxes. Sam didn’t think he had much stuff, but now looking at the evidence he begged to differ. Sam sighed and leaned against the door. If he wasn't careful he would fall asleep right against it. What he needed to do was find some clothes, a mug, and his coffee maker. It was a good thing he bought some groceries on the way there this morning, otherwise he would blow his top off. It took Sam about an hour to find all the stuff he was looking for. It didn't take much, as all of his boxes were labeled. It probably would have taken him half the time if he wasn't so tired.

Once the items were found Sam made his way to the bathroom. He peeled off his shirt which was stuck to his body and dropped it on the tiles with a wet and loud splat. He did the same with his jeans. When the shower heated up hot enough Sam stepped in and happily sighed. This is what he needed. The hot water prickled his skin in the nicest way. It felt like some of the stress was going down the drain with the water. He could've stayed under the shower forever. But he knew he had shit to do. Once he was done standing under the hot stream of water he quickly lathered himself and washed off. Sam absentmindedly dried off standing in his living area where he left his clothes. He pulled on his t-shirt and sweatpants and started up the coffee maker. As he waited for his coffee to heat up he checked all the messages that were left on his phone. Most of them were from his Mama and a few handful of friends from his old place. All of them asking if he got in okay. Later on he was going to call them all back and tell them the details, but right now his coffee is done and all Sam wanted to do was to lay on his mattress and have a fat nap.

...... 

Sam was startled awake by a huge bang on the other side of his wall. He sat up with his heart banging in its cage. The bang came again and came with it a lot of extra noise of clattering and slams._ Isn't my neighbour a seemingly quiet middle aged man?_ If Sam remembered clearly he remembered the man with the mustache who stepped out of the apartment. If this is a regular occurence with his neighbor, there will be some problems. Sams heart finally stopped racing as he rubbed the heel of his palms to his eyes. There was light leaking into his room from behind the old and dusty blinds. Sam made his way off his matress thats was on the floor-- _Man, I really need to buy a bed frame before I fuck up my back._\-- and into the main room.

He didn't do much after drinking his coffee. He called his Mama and sent a few quick texts to his friends, then collapsed on his mattress. It was only 2pm, so he had plenty of time to unpack some of these boxes. His energy was up and he was more than ready to tackle his task. Sam found his bluetooth speakers and connected it to his phone and selected a motown playlist on Spotify and got to work.

Every now and then when Sam was working he would hear the occasional clatter of something from his neighbor accompanied by loud yelling voices. At this point Sam was getting concerned. He didn’t want to butt his head in places where it shouldn’t be and where its not welcomed, but if this is a case of abuse, especially physical abuse he can't just sit around and listen to it. He was mostly half way through his boxes when Sam was starting to get fed up and was going to go next door and see what was going on, but then he heard the door open and close. The footsteps went down the hall and disappeared. Sam made a mental note that if he were to see his neighbor again he will ask him what's going on. This may cause some trouble with his neighbor, but he can’t just not do anything.

By the time Sam was almost done unpacking it was evening. The rain had finally let up and the sun was making a nice appearance for the sunset giving everything a nice golden glow. All Sam had to buy was a dining table, a bedframe, a TV table, a new bookshelf and a couch. Maybe along the way he would buy some decor and knick knacks, but for now he pulled his mattress into the living room and placed his TV on the floor.

A loud gurgling noise brought Sam out of his thoughts. He skipped lunch and had a very sparse breakfast this morning. He was considering Ubering food to his place, but thought against it. He needed some fresh air and properly stretch his legs. Sam just pulled on a hoodie and some sneakers and left his apartment. He didn't hear or see anything from his neighbors, which could be a good thing. He made his way out of his apartment on the search for some good Chinese take out.

The streets were still lively, well what do you expect? Its New York. It maybe a Tuesday, but the lights never really turn off in this city. Sam wasn't really in a rush to get anywhere even though his stomach was protesting. It was nice to just stroll around and take a look at his neighborhood. To be honest, it looked like most of the streets in New York. Modern but somehow a bit rustic, chic and topped off with some hipster vibes to them. Not to mention there were a bunch of coffee shop on every block. Overall, it was a pretty cool area with art and vintage shops sprinkled around. Sam also spotted a vinyl store a couple streets back. No wonder he kept seeing guys with either man buns or a beanie and a beard. But Sams not complaining, makes for good eye candy.

After aimlessly walking for about an hour, Sam finally made his way to get some Chinese. He ordered his regular. Stir fry noodles, sweet and sour pork, wonton soup and some spring rolls. By the time Sam got back to his apartment, the sun was already low on the horizon line and it was getting dark. When Sam was about to go up to his apartment a very built man with blonde hair entered the elevator.

“What floor?” Sam asked

“Eight, thanks.”

The man was obviously handsome. Too handsome. He had blue eyes from what Sam could tell, soft blonde hair, nice fair skin and obviously an amazing body. But he was just…. too perfect, too pristine for Sam to fully enjoy. But no doubt a very handsome man. Sam heard the man shuffle on his feet, “You new here?” He asked keeping his eyes on the elevator door.

“Yeah, moved in today,” Sam did the same thing. Eyes on the door.

The blonde man didn't say anything after that. Once out of the elevator they both awkwardly walked in the same direction until Sam stopped in front of his door and the blonde man stopped in front of the door beside him. Sam was beyond shocked. All that noise was coming from him and the man with the mustache. _Oh shit._

“Hey do you mind me asking? Do you live here?”

“No, not really anyway.”

“Oh, I was just wondering ‘cause I heard a lot of banging and stuff this afternoon…”

The blonde mans face dropped instantly and he started opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Sam quickly reassured the man, “I don’t mean to be noisy in your relationship or anything…. It was just whatever was going on was a bit loud.”

Sam waited for the man to reply, but he seemed a bit stunned.

“Hey man are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I'm good. T-thanks. Yeah, no, um yeah, sorry for being so loud we didn’t really think the walls were so thin. I apologize. Um, yeah, you won’t have to worry about the noise anymore.”

Before Sam could say anything else to the man he briskly opened the door and shut it behind him, leaving Sam in the dust. Well, that went well. Sam was so confused by the confrontation that he doesn't even know what to think.

For the time being Sam pushed the weird meeting aside and sat on his mattress and turned on Netflix to watch the Bake Off as he ate his food. But lingering in the back of his head Sam was thinking, _What the hell just happened?_

......

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

Sam blindly tapped his phone that laid next to him on the floor. He rolled over onto his back and took a moment to get himself together. Slowly, Sam peeled his eyes open. He blinked blearily, everything in his vision a bit fuzzy. His eyesight finally came back to him as he sat up and stretched, the blankets pooling in his lap and leaving his bare chest exposed. Sam picked up his phone, _6:15. I have more than enough time to go out for a morning jog._ Since university, Sam has always went out for a morning run. It was a great way for him to clear his head and let his mind wonder. It was also a good way to start his mornings, to get the day going.

The plan was to find his shorts and his headphones, go out and run around the area, maybe stop and get a bagel and coffee, then come back to have a shower and make his way to St John’s. Once fishing through the boxes he found his shorts and he pulled on the sweater that he was wearing yesterday and slipped on his sneakers.. When he got outside his apartment, the sun was just coming up, making the sky look yellow with a slight orange. Sam selected an energetic playlist and went off jogging.

Sam did the same route that he walked yesterday. It was quite a small area to run so he ran it a couple of times. W_hen I have time, maybe on Saturday or something, I'm gonna have to explore longer running route. A park ideally._ When he finished his run Sam had a nice healthy amount of sweat on his skin. He made his way to a coffee shop called The Grind.

When he stepped in it had a very hipster and cozy feel to it. The walls were brick and had a white singular shelves with pictures of photography or catchy phrases. It also had nice rustic wooden floors and cute white circular tables and black chairs. To the left of the shop there was a cozy black couch with an assortment of pillows and nice matching side chairs to complement it. That seemed like the chill part of the shop, there was also a table with a bunch of magazines. When thinking about it, it was quite a big coffee shop. Very Spacious with all the furniture within. He walked up to the counter and glanced at the pasrires on display.

“Good morning, how can I help you?” The woman at cash asked.

Sam could appreciate that she was a beautiful woman, even though he doesn't swing that way. She had lightly tousled blonde hair that came up to her shoulders, even though her eyebrows were dark ginger. She had smooth porcelain skin and what seemed to be hazel green eyes. Sam quickly looked at her name tag, _Natalie._

“Yeah, um, can I get a double double medium espresso and a breakfast bagel.”

Natalie gave him a small smile and nodded.

She tapped in his order on the register, he returned her $9.50. Sam went aside for the next customer to order and waited for his breakfast. After a while Sam went over to the lounge area and picked up one of the books on the table. The book was about how to keep a happy and healthy mental health. He was only four pages in when Natalie came up to him with his order.

“Oh, sorry, you didn't have to bring that up to me.” Sam kindly took the white paper pag and his coffee.

“No worries, you looked pretty engrossed in that book.” Sam looked down at the book smiling, shaking it slightly. “Your just gonna have to come back and have a longer stay to finish it.” She joked. 

Sam got up from the couch and smiled, “I just might have too.”

As he walked towards the door he put his hand up for a short wave and made his way out of the coffee shop. 

…..

  
Sam was on the short train ride to St John’s by 7:30. The sound of the train going fast on the tracks filled the air. As usual, the cabin Sam was in was packed. All the seats were taken and the majority of the people were standing holding on to the rails. Sam was sitting earlier, but gave up his seat for an elderly man who shuffled on the train.

The train ride to the hospital wasn't that long. It was about a 10 minute ride and lucky for Sam as soon as you exit the station the hospital was down the street.

Sam walked up to the hospital and just the outside made Sams eyes widen a bit. It had a very modern design to it. The building was all types of squares and rectangles, but made it look minimalistic. It was white and the windows were a natural blue. It looked shiny and new, unlike many other hospitals Sam has seen. It’s most likely because billionaire genius, Tony Stark, helped renovate the hospital about 5 years ago. And 5 years later it still looked brand new.

Sam wasn't going to lie to himself, he was kinda intimidated. Intimidated by the fact that this wonderful, flashy hospital wanted him to work there. This was his first proper job using his nursing degree and this amazing hospital wanted him. Sam was sure as hell he will never lose his opportunity.

As Sam walked towards the door, they opened automatically with a light swish. When he stepped inside the hospital was already busy, doctors in blue walking around with surgical masks under their chins and the nurses in a pastel green with clipboards in their hands.

The front foyer of the hospital was huge. Huge and bright, the floors and walls were white and the LED lights gave it a nice and strong, yet natural lighting. In the front of the foyer was a big front desk that had the _St John_ on the front in light blue, and to his right was a nice waiting room with a nice wooden table with magazines, blue comfy arm chairs, a flat screen TV and a water machine and coffee maker. It even had a charging cabinets. In the corner Sam's eye he saw a small play area for kids.

“Nice looking” was an extreme understatement for St Johns. It was perfect.

Sam walked up to the front desk, flashing his 100 kilowatt smile. The woman standing behind the desk return it with a small but kind smile, “What can I do for you?”

Sam pulled out his ID and all the papers they asked of him to bring, “Yeah, I’m the new nurse, Sam Wilson.”

The lady’s eyes brightened up at the realization. “Oh yes! Mr Wilson! We were told that you would be starting today. Let me just get everything started for you.”

The lady started quickly reading over Sam’s papers and then immediately after started to type something up on the sleek PC. While she was doing that Sam was casually looking at the environment around him. The hygiene in this place seemed to be great.

Some hospitals have horrible hygiene practices. But here everything is spotless. Both the doctors and nurses seem to be in control of everything. They all seem to be very confident in what they are doing.

After a few more minutes the nurse interrupts Sams thoughts, “Okay, Mr Wilson, I am going to have fellow nurse Mrs. Maximoff to show you the ropes around here.”

As if on cue, Mrs Maximoff showed up in her green scrubs and her ginger hair pulled onto a bun. She had a friendly smile on her face as she walked up. She put her had towards Sam, “Hi, Mr Wilson, I’m Mrs Maximoff. I'll be showing you how stuff works around here for the next couple of days.”

Sam shook her hand and returned her smile. “You can call me Sam. Mr Wilson makes me sound a bit too old,” he chuckled.

She laughed right back, “To be honest me too. The name’s Wanda.”

Sam nodded his head in understanding.

“Okay, so first I will need you to change into these scrubs and then we will go off and sign some more papers that are needed and then after that I’ll show you around and stuff like that. We’re gonna take it a bit easy on the first day, since there is a lot of information that needs to be processed. That sound good?” Wanda asked.

“That sounds perfect.”

….. 

The morning went on as Wanda planned. First, they went to the HR section of the hospital to get Sam to sign some extra papers about the health and safety concerns and St Johns rules and regulations. Additionally, they made Sam read and sign New York’s regulation rules about nurses and doctors, even though he read it many times in university. They also checked on Sams health which included: the last time he had his shots, any sex related infections (if he had any), any types of illness etc.

All of that reading and signing took Sam about an hour and a half to complete. After that Sam was able to go into the actual part of the hospitals where patients were. He had to sanitize his hands before they went beyond the automatic doors.

When in, Sam shadowed Wanda for the rest of the morning. He wasn't always behind her and looking at what she was doing. She let him do some interactions with some of the patients, just for him to dip his feet into and get used to it.

One of the patients just had his appendix out and was in recovery. Wanda greeted the patient. He seemed to be around six or seven and was very sleepy. She turned around and looked at Sam, “You can do this one if you like?”

Sam wasn't going to turn down the chance to a little bit of something. Sam wasn't nervous at all, once in the element at the hospital Sam felt very comfortable.

“Hey little man,” Sam walked near the bed and smiled down at the small boy.

The boy groaned, “My tummy hurts.” He rubbed his stomach and curled into a ball.

“ I know little guy. I remember when I got my appendix out and I cried and cried ‘cause it hurt so bad. But you, you are taking it like a champ.”

The little boy looked up at Sam. A small smile playing on his face.

Sam grinned at the child, “here's what we're gonna do little man. We need to have a small check on your stomach and see if the stitches are still in place and then after between you and me,” Sam started to whisper to the boy, “I’ll get you some pudding or applesauce. Sound good?”

The little boy perked up and grinned a toothless smile at Sam, “I love applesauce!”

“Alright! I know your gonna be a strong and brave like a superhero when I check these stitches, right?”

The boy nodded enthusiastically.

Sam chuckled in return and started to check the boys stitches. Wanda came up next to him to record the status of the injury. At times the boy would wince and tense up but never once did he complain.

Once finished the boy smiled at Sam, “Wasn't I brave? I didn't even move or cry!”

Sam laughed, “Yeah little man you were brave just like I knew you’d be. And you know what you deserve now?”

The boys eyes lit up and both him and Sam smiled and both exclaimed in unison, “APPLESAUCE!”

After getting the little boys applesauce they went to go talk to his parents saying thats its okay to take him home now.

“You were amazing with that kid,” Wanda said.

Sam shrugged, “Thanks. I just went with the flow. I have a young niece, so I do have a soft spot for the kids.”

Wanda smiled, “That's amazing. You were a natural back there.”

Soon after it was time for a lunch break. When Sam and Wanda entered, Sam noticed that once again everything was modern and sleek. All the appliances had to be up to date with the current technology.

Wanda led Sam to a lunch table with a couple of others sitting around it. It felt like Sam was in high school all over again.

“Hey guys,” Wanda sat in one of the chairs and motioned for Sam to sit beside her. “I want you guys to meet Sam he’s the new nurse around here.”

A man with short curly brown hair and glasses quickly drank his water and stuck his hand out in front of him, “Sam, nice to meet you. I’m Bruce Banner, head of the Diagnostic Imaging department. Which is basically the X-ray or radiology department.”

Sam gave Bruce a firm handshake, “Wow man, that sounds pretty cool, not gonna lie.” Bruce smiled and went back to eating his chili.

Next, Sam met Vision who is Wanda’s fiancee and he is also one of the doctors that work in A&E. He was extremely friendly and open towards Sam. After, he was introduced to Jane who worked in Haematology.

“What the hell is Haematology?” Sam asked, confused at the word. Sam most likely knows what it is if it were to be explained but doesn't know it based off of that name.

Jane laughed, “Yeah I get that a lot when I tell people,” Jane sobered up and controlled her laughter, “Haematology is just a fancy name for the department of people who work in the labs and test anything related to blood. So blood itself, blood forming organs or blood diseases.”

As Sam suspected, he did know that department and was genuinely surprised that's what the name of the department was called.

After ten more minutes three more people came in. One tall man with incredible cheekbones. But not as incredible as Sams own cheekbones. And two younger adults. One young woman and the other a young man. To be honest a bit too young to be working in a hospital. They looked like they should be in university. Maybe they were, who knows.

“Oh Sam, meet Dr Strange. He is the head of the surgical department. The best surgeon in this whole hospital. Maybe the best in all of New York”

The man, Dr Strange-- _What a cool ass name._\-- released a deep baritone chuckle at that. His eyes fell to Sam and he smiled. This man could have been a model if he wanted to. He had the right height and the right handsome yet peculiar face.

“Dr Strange.” He shook Sam's hand sternly but friendly. The man's voice oozes confidence and maybe even a bit of arrogance.

“Sam. Nice to meet you, man. You seem like a hot shot around here.”

The man walked over to the coffee machine and poured himself some. He shrugged his shoulders at Sams statement, “yeah well what can I say. I'm great.”

Bruce scoffed lightly, “Yeah, alright, Stephen.”

Sam turned away from what was being said and turned his attention to the two young people sitting on the couch were on their phones and laughing at something.

“Oh, that's Shuri, who is the princess of Wakanda and thats Peter Parker. They are our young and promising interns,” Jane said.

Both yelled an absentmindedly ‘Hello’ while looking at their phones. “Aren't they both a bit too young to be doctors?” Sam asked.

“Well, yeah, their young, but extremely smart. Its said that Shuri is smarter than Tony Stark himself. She sure is hell smarter than me. And Peter, is super intelligent. They are two bright pupils.”

Smiled and looked at the full lunch tables of his new colleagues. It was a good first day.

….. 

Sam left St Johns at around 9:00pm, before the rush hour at the hospital. Sam knows most serious injuries happen during the night. He said goodbye to everyone in passing and then made his way home.

It was a long day. And Wanda was right, there was a lot of information that needed to be processed, but Sam couldn't be any happier. This was all Sam ever wanted in a job; a great environment, amazing colleagues, and most importantly an opportunity to help people.

Sam almost nodded off four times during his short train ride back home. He didn't care that he was standing up holding on the railing, he didn't care that he almost fell into some mans dirty armpit. Sam was so tired.

Sam doesn't even remember making his way back to his apartment. He was most likely sleepwalking the way back. He was dead on his feet.

Sam once again did not have the energy to take the stairs and opted to take the elevator.

When Sam got to his floor, he blindly left the elevator, however he ended up bumping into a rock solid figure. Sam’s over the shoulder bag fell and the person he ran into dropped their wallet and keys.

“Oh damn, sorry about that. I wasn't looking where I was going.” Sam quickly bent to pick up the things that dropped on the floor.

When he straightened back up Sam came face to face with his mysterious neighbor with the mustache. They both just stood there staring at each other. Sam didn't know what he was looking at, but he was lost in those clear blue eyes. _They look like a steel blue_. Up close the man didn't look that old beside that ugly mustache. And just by bumping into him Sam knew that the man has some muscles underneath that red checkered button up.

“Can I have my stuff back?” He asked. His voice was smooth. He can hear the thick New York accent flow off his tongue naturally.

“Oh yeah, of course man, here you go.” Sam stuttered out. Sam was just shocked that he’s finally meeting his neighbor after the weird things he heard yesterday.

Sam could see a slight blush on the man's cheeks, most likely embarrassed by the situation.

“I don’t think we’ve formally met yet, but I’m Sam.” Sam held out his hand towards the man.

His neighbour looked at his hand for a moment then looked back up at Sam, searching in Sams eyes like he was looking for something. Looking deep inside of Sam. And Sam could’ve swore his eyes turned a little bit softer.

He softly took Sam's hand and shook it, his hands were rough and calloused from hard work. But they had a tender softness and warmth to them. “Bucky. My name's Bucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of this fic. This is my first fit so go a bit easy on me, but I will love to hear your feedback in the comments. I just wanted to write a Sambucky fic that was soley based around them without a third party. And there isn't enough of long fics with just Sam and Bucky and I really wanted one so I made it :) And now that we have The Sambucky Show I think it's time to start building this tag with just these two soft bois. 
> 
> Fun-fact: I got the idea of the different meeting by a Tumblr account that I saw earlier in the summer (I wish I could find it for y'all but this was before I made my Winterfalcon account and now I can't find the post :'( ) The one specific post inspired me to make this fic so however made that "this Sam with this Bucky" thank you so much for the inspiration.
> 
> Not beta'd. All mistakes are mine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I just wanted to clarify somethings: Bucky, Steve and Natasha are all undercover for a mission. That is why I used Steve's middle name and a similar but different name for Natasha. It's also why Bucky looks different than how he usually looks. Clint also works at SHIELD but he is not undercover. Thats all. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Additionally, I will be updating this fic everyday as I already have it finished to share with you guys. So stay tuned!
> 
> Not beta'd. All mistakes are mine.

_ Bucky? His name is Bucky? Such a usual name for a man with a moustache. _Bucky and Sam continued shaking each others hand and staring into each other's eyes for a few seconds too long. 

Once Sam started noticing that Bucky’s hand started to loosen up he completely dropped his hand as if he was burned by Bucky. Sam cleared his throat and dusted invisible lint off his shirt. Anything to avoid eye contact. 

“So…” Bucky began awkwardly. He left an awkward moment of silence that was filled by nothingness. “I hear your my new neighbor.”

Sam smiled, “Yeah, I moved in yesterday.” Sam paused, “we actually bumped into each other when you were leaving your apartment.” 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, “I feel like I came off a bit standoff-ish. It's just that I was in a rush to get somewhere… and to be honest I didn't expect to get a new neighbour anytime soon.” 

Sam nodded his head in understanding, “Yeah, no, its fine. I didn't really think much about it after.” 

After Sam said that there was once again an awkward silence. _ This man is so weird. I can't explain it. He’s just…. Odd…. _

“Listen, I know that you met, uh, my partner Grant last night and you talked about the noise. I know it was pretty loud and I know what it could sound like. Like someone getting hurt in there, but it wasn’t that. I just had a bad day at work and stuff and… yeah it just wasn't my best day yesterday and I was, you know, throwing stuff around having a little temper tantrum. But I just wanted to clear the air with you. I don’t want you thinking that I’m… I’m a violent person.” 

There was hurt and sadness laced in Bucky’s eyes. And it ran deep. There was something more to it. Being a nurse he was able to pick up on things like this. Additionally, after working in a PTSD center for a long time also helped Sam to read people who aren't comfortable with conveying their feelings with words. 

Bucky’s eyes are telling a story. A sad one that seems he does not want to disclose and Sams not going to push that. 

“Man, don’t worry about it. It was just… a bit loud, but nothing to worry about. We all have bad days. I ain't going to hold it against you.” 

Sam raises his eyebrows softly and smiled, “We good?” 

For the first time since meeting Bucky, the man smiled. A Genuine, full hearted smiled and it was a gorgeous one at that. When he smiled his eyes lit up, the sadness disappeared and was replaced with happiness. 

“Yeah, we’re good…. Look I gotta run but maybe I'll see you around?” 

“Yeah, for sure.” 

Sam entered his apartment feeling happy that he squashed whatever he had with his neighbour. After all that happened today Sam was ready for a long and restful night. 

**….**

It's been two weeks since Sam moved into his new apartment. Which have been a busy two weeks. Sam has been working non stop at the hospital. After the first week of being there Sam stopped shadowing Wanda and was allowed to go off treat his own patients. 

So, Sams been dealing with sick patients, caring for patients that came out surgery or caring for some elderlys. But Sam was happy. This is all he’s wanted out of his job. Not to mention his coworkers are amazing people. Over the past two weeks him and Bruce have become pretty good friends even though being the complete opposite, the same with Jane. Sam also has a bit of rivalry with Stephen. ‘The Battle of the Cheekbones’ Vision likes to call it. All around Sam is very much enjoying his work at St Johns.

Sams also seems like a bit of the old man around Shuri and Peter. With them playing pranks on him or introducing him to new memes or even showing him the new music that the kids are listening to nowadays

_ “Here Mr Wilson listen to this,” Peter plugs his AirPods into Sam's ears and plays some loud music that Sam does not understand. The rappers of this generation has Sam very confused. _

_ Sam chuckes, “yeah guys, I don’t know what this is.” _

_ “Oh come on Mr Wilson. It's Lil Yachty,” Shuri exclaims. _

Sam would also go and join his colleagues on Fridays after work at a bar and have a couple of drinks before leaving for the weekend. With these little get togethers Sam got to meet Thor, Bruce boyfriend, Wanda’s brother, Pietro, and Janes friend Darcy. It's all a fun time that makes for better friendships, but also a better work ethic.

Another upside was Sam’s paycheck was finally looking mighty nice and he was able to get what he needed for his apartment. Over the week Sam was able to unbox everything. Collapsing every box and putting it into a storage room closet. Before that point Sam was still sleeping on his mattress that lived on the living room floor. And his bedroom was bare except for the huge pile of clothes he left on the floor due to the absence of a drawers. 

After Sam got his first paycheck he was able to pay for a lot more than he thought. Sam bought a nice and simple dark brown oak bed frame, new pillowcases and a duvet, drawers and bedside tables. He also indulge in buying a smooth dark brown TV table, and a nice plush merlot sofa. He also brought an assortment of brown cushions and a cream throw for it.

Sam plans to buy a bookshelf next and some artwork to place on the empty walls, but for now his house is looking real cozy. 

Sam was also settling nicely into the neighbourhood. Sam has met a lot of people on the street when he’s on one of his evening walks or when he’s on his morning runs. Many of them are the hipster looking people that live in the area. They are actually really humble and nice people. Not as pretentious as Sam thought. 

Sam also has a great friendship with the man that serves him his Chinese food. After the many times Sam has shown up to his establishment after work for a late night dinner they have formed a good friendship. 

Speaking of friendship Sam has gotten close with Natalia and also has become a bit addicted to The Grind. Every morning after Sam’s run he goes into the coffee shop and orders the same drink and sits in the same couch and reads the same book. He’s halfway done. Over the days Natalia actually comes and sits down next to him and talks to him while he reads. Over such a short amount of time they really formed a strong friendship. Both of them talking and learning about it each other, but also having fun and jokey times as well

Sometimes when Sam finishes work early he’ll swing by and say ‘Hi’ and maybe order one of their pastries. This is where Sam met Clint, Natalie's boyfriend. He was a funny man. He and Sam had the same humor and were both very chill. So they instantly bounced off each other naturally. He can see why Natalie and Clint are so good for each other. Sam felt very comfortable in The Grind. 

Sam also had a silent understanding with Bucky. 

Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. He was a mystery to Sam. Sam didn't know how to explain his neighbour. He was so unusual but not in a mean way. In a way where Sam can’t really read him, can't truly put his finger on him. They would run into each other every now and then in the halls and they would say a quick ‘Hi’ or a small smile towards each other. Never more. Bucky never seemed like he wanted to talk for long. What Sam did notice was that whenever he would see Bucky he would become tense and the air would immediately become awkward and full of tension. 

He also noticed that he would wear a black glove on his left hand all the time. Every single time, there was a black glove on his hand. He understood if it was cold or if he had two, but no, it was spring and he only wore it on his left. Sam never brought it up or alluded to his hand, not wanting to start any trouble with the man. 

The man seemed to have a lot of baggage on him, Sam could tell that much. There was a history, a story to Bucky. One that Sam would like to hear, but never would. 

Sam also never saw Grant again. After that one time Sam never physically saw him again. He hoped Grant wasn't some racist that ran away because Sam was black. But Sam didn't get that vibe from him at all. 

Sam just left his neighbor alone to do his own things. Sometimes he would hear Bucky get up super early and come home really late, but it wasn't Sams business. Even though he was curious. 

_ Mama would scold me if she saw me trying to pry in other people’s business. _

**….**

It was a Saturday and Sam was sure as hell not going to get up early for a run. He hasn't had a Saturday off since he got his new job. Sam wasn't complaining but he really did need a lay in. He did wake up at 6am just off of routine, but immediately went back to sleep. 

The next time Sam woke up it was almost midday. A part of Sam felt bad for waking up a bit too late, but he deserved it after his hard work over the past couple weeks. 

Sam sat up in his bed and saw that it was once again a rainy spring day. _ I really have to replace these ugly ass blinds. _Sam yawned and rubbed his eyes at the same time. He shuffled out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom to relieve himself. 

He then shuffled his ass to the kitchen to turn on his coffee machine and begin making breakfast. He scrambled his eggs and cooked off his bacon and buttered his toast. Sam then went and made himself comfortable on the couch and turned on the TV to watch the Bake Off that he didn’t finish last night. He ate in comfortable silence, the only thing filling the room was Mary Berry. 

Outside was cold and wet. It looked like it was going to continue raining for the rest of the day. So, Sams plan for the rest of the day is to buy some stuff for his apartment online, call his Mama, maybe play some video games, but mostly lounge on the couch and do nothing. He had a pretty good feeling that he may have a nap later on. 

And that's what Sam did. He went on multiple furniture websites ordering little things that would make his apartment more homier for hours. Once Sam started, he never stopped. He basically had to drag himself off those websites before he spent all his money. He then he had a nice conversation with his Mama on Facetime. That went on for almost three hours. Sam showed her a quick house tour and then they pent the rest of the time catching up. He hasn't seen his Mama face to face in a couple of months. Not that he doesn't want to, it's just that Sam has been extremely busy with the move. But now that everything is settled he definitely plans to have his Mama over. Sam did skip the video games though. When he was finished talking to his Mama he made himself some lunch and then had his nap early. Due to Sam’s many shifts he could sleep for hours and hours. 

All of that took Sam’s afternoon away. When Sam woke up it was almost five. The rain had let up but it was still lightly drizzling outside and the clouds are making it darker than what it should be. Being cooped up all day has Sam was feeling cabin fever. He needs to get out. Just for a little walk or something. Plus, he has nothing else to do. 

Sam put on a sweater and a cap and left his apartment. Once he got out on the street it was still busy. People walking up and down the road going places. It also doesn't help that it is a Saturday. The cars light up the street all the way down until it's impossible to see anymore. 

Even though it was lightly raining outside it was obviously starting to soak through his sweater and chilling his skin, making Sam catch shivers. Sam then briskly walks to The Grind for a nice hot drink to get his blood circulating properly again. 

When he enters the establishment there is quite a lot of people inside sitting at the tables. Everyone there seemed to have the same idea as Sam, getting a nice warm drink on such a dank day. 

“Hey! Sam, dude over here!” Sam looked over and saw Clint, Natalie and Grant sitting in the lounge area. 

Sam smiled, pleasantly happy to see Natalie and Clint and very surprised to see Grant. 

“Hey, whats up guys.” He dapped Clint and leaned down to hug Natalie, feeling a bit awkward for not giving Grant a formal greeting so he waved instead, “nice to see you again, man.”

Grant smiled, “Yeah, same to you to...sorry about how we first met by the way.” 

Natalie looked at Grant and gave him a confused look, “How did you two meet?” 

“Eh, we met at Bucky’s building ‘cause Sam lives there too and uh, yeah, it was just pretty awkward and stuff.” Once again Grant was flustering all over the place. 

Sam waved him off, “everythings all good now.” 

Natalie scoffs and rolls her eyes, “well, since that's over now. Come sit down Sam.” 

“Oh, I don't want to intrude on you guys.” 

“You're not intruding. Unless you have somewhere to be?”

“Nah, not really. Just been having a lazy day off.”

“Well sit down and rest. I’ll go tell someone to get you something to drink?” 

“A hot chocolate would be nice. I’m not really craving caffeine right now.” 

Natalie smiled and got up to go speak to the guy behind the counter. 

“So you guys don’t really know each other, right?” Clint asked sipping on his ice coffee. 

“No. we met pretty quickly.” Grant replied as Sam made himself comfortable on the couch. Clint and Grant were sitting on the armchairs right in front of the couch. 

“Well just to make it quick. Sam is a nurse and Grant he does…. Well lets just say he works with agents.” Clint smirks. 

Grant gave Clint a deadly glare that Sam didn’t know he could express from his cute face. 

“So you work in some sort of government department?” Sam asked trying to get more of a definitive answer. 

“Yeah, or something like that.” Grant gritted through his teeth while still glaring daggers at Clint. 

At this moment Natalie came back with Sam's hot chocolate and more cakes and pastries that she places in the middle of the table. 

“What's going on boys?” 

Clint snickered slightly and covers it up by drinking his coffee, “Oh nothing dear, nothing at all.” 

Natalie eyes him suspiciously and ‘Mhmm’s’ him. 

Sam chuckleed not really knowing what's going on and takes a small sip of his hot chocolate. “I don’t really know what's going on, but I’m gonna pretend that I do.” 

Natalie shook his shoulder softly, “Don't worry Sam. These two are always doing something stupid.” She stresses the last three words and pointedly glance at Grant and Clint. “You’re lucky Bucky isn't here to add to the mix.” 

Sam’s heart leaps a bit at hearing Bucky’s name being said. He hasn't seen him in the past two days. Sam hears him next door, so he knows that he's in his house but Sam has not physically seen him. Sam doesn't know why he thinks about this. He’s never behaved like this with anybody else. Not even with his first and only boyfriend, Riley. 

_ Oh fuck! Isn’t Grant Bucky’s boyfriend. They said they were partners. That could also mean married. Oh shit, shit, shit. Now I feel like shit for thinking about another man's life partner. No. Nope. This is stopping right now Samuel. How could I forget? _

Sam felt guilt bubbling up in his stomach for thinking those things of another mans boyfriend. Sam wasn't that kind of person to be some sort of homewrecker. So he immediately stops any thought of Bucky that crossed his mind. 

Clint winked at her, “Oh don’t you worry about the Nat. He said he's coming later.” 

“Why is he working a longer shift. Shouldn't you be with him?” Natalie says looking at Grant. 

Grant sighed, “he said he didn't need me there and didn't need my help. And you know how annoyingly stubborn he is. So I left him to it.” 

Natalie was about to say something but she quickly closed her mouth. Her face became very passive as she leaned back into the couch and crossed her arms. 

“Okaaay, let's forget about that for now. Your letting us look like a bunch of weirdos in front of Sam.” Clint says trying to change the subject. 

“Sorry Sam you had to hear all that.” Grant said. His eyes all big and puppy like. 

“Its alright guys. You're worried about your friend,” Sam motioned to Grant, “and your partner. So it's understandable. 

After that bump in the road the evening went on without a hitch. People in the coffee shop came and went throughout the evening, but Sam, Natalie, Clint and Grant stayed in the same exact spot having a good time. 

For the beginning part of the evening they got to know Sam a little bit more, talking about where he came from and where he grew up and what his life was like before moving to Booklyn. The conversation drifted from his life to talking about Clint, which lead to a whole bunch of laughter and jokes. The late evening was filled with laughter and huge goofy smiles. Sam was pleasantly surprised for some reason to see Grant fully enjoying himself; having big belly laughs, cracking jokes and letting loose a little bit. Eventually, The Grind was empty besides a few workers in the back. So they pretty much had the space to themselves to make as much noise as they wanted. 

By the time darkness overcame the grey clouds, Sams cheeks hurt and his stomach ached from all the laughing.

Sam was saying something to Natalie when the door opened and stepped through Bucky. 

He looked exactly the same as he did the last time Sam saw him, except that his under eyes were dark and drooping slightly. He looked tired and a bit dead. His hair was neatly parted to the side and his mustache was nicely groomed. 

And he still wore those horrific suburban dad clothes. 

“Hey, man! Look who decided to show up late.” Clint threw up his arms at Bucky’s arrival. 

“Yeah, the night is basically over.” Natalie voice was flat, but had an undertone of frustration? Or was it annoyance? “Gotta close up the shop.” 

Bucky stepped closer to the lounge area and his eyes darted around to everyone. Once his eyes landed on Sams they stayed there for longer than the others. 

For what was probably a millisecond felt like a whole five minutes for Sam. He couldn't help it. Those blue eyes pierced his brown ones. They were unrelenting, fierce and so very expressive. They were once again looking straight through Sam. And he didn't mind- _ No, Sam. Stop it. Look away now. Do not indulge! _

Sam quickly averted his eyes to the coffee mug on the coffee table, looking at it as if it was the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. 

Bucky cleared his throat, “yeah, sorry about that. I was held back for a little while.” 

That sparked Grants interest, “why? What happened?” 

Bucky flipped his hand and sighed slightly, “nothing. It was nothing…. It was- yeah, no, its fine.” His eyes quickly looked back up at Sam’s and Sams eyes slowly travelled back to Bucky’s as he was talking to Grant. 

Grant got up from his seat and made his way to a secluded hallway where the bathrooms were. Bucky broke eye contact with Sam and followed Grant to the hallway. 

Natalie got up and started gathering the pile of saucers and mugs, “he better have an explanation.” She muttered to herself. 

“You guys really care about him.” Sam said as he watched her gathering the mess. 

“You gotta care about that man…. He’s had it rough and…. He can be impulsive and shit.” 

There was obviously more to what Natalie was saying but Sam didn't want to push it. There was a large piece of information that Sam was missing. However, he wasn't going to pry. 

Natalie went to the back with all the dishes and Sam was left alone with Clint. 

“I know what it looks like dude. Kinda like were excluding you a bit-- Well a lot, but it's for good reasons. And regarding Bucky? His situation is… a lot and that's putting it lightly…. It's all a lot, Sam.” _ What's that supposed to mean? _

Sam held up his hand, “Man, it’s okay. I can see it’s not your place to tell me and I respect that. You don’t need to tell me anything.” 

Clint pressed his lips together in a tight smile as a ‘thanks’

“Well,” Sam put his hands on his knees and got up, “I'm gonna give you guys some privacy and let you guys talk shit out.” 

“Wait, no, Sam you don’t have to go because of this.” 

“Don't worry about it. I have a shift tomorrow anyway. Gotta get that early night's sleep.” 

Sam knows where he is not wanted. Yeah, they all had a good night, but they needed to talk about whatever is going on and that does not include Sam. “Tell everyone I said goodnight.” And with that Sam left the coffee shop and made his way home. 

Sam did have a shift tomorrow, but it wasn't until 12:30pm, so he wasn't in a big rush to get home. He decided to have a nice slow walk home. 

_ What did all of that mean back there? What did Nat mean when ‘He’s had it rough?’ I could tell there was a story to him, but I didn't think it was going to be bad. I'm so confused. You know what, we’re just gonna leave it. It ain’t none of my business to know. If they wanna tell me? Cool. If not? Also cool. I'm not gonna-- _Sams thoughts were cut off by a warm hand on his shoulder. He didn't know who it would be. He didn’t really know anyone in the neighborhood like that. _ Maybe I’m getting robbed? Oh fuck! _

When he turned around he saw Bucky with a slight smile on his flushed face. 

“Oh, hey, whats up, man?” Sam asked very confused. 

“Clint told me that you left. So….” He cut of there prompting for Sam to say something. 

“Yeah, I have a shift tomorrow… and it seemed like you guys had a lot of stuff to talk out so I just wanted to give you guys space.” 

Bucky shook his head and looked at the ground. “There wasn't really anything to talk out. There just being fucking overprotective.” 

Bucky was still looking at the ground tapping the front of his shoes in a puddle. 

“Where’s Grant?” Sam asked. Even though they don’t live together for an odd reason, wouldn't you want to walk your boyfriend home? 

Bucky looked up at Sam, a confused look on his face, “he’s back at the coffee shop. Why?”

“.... Uh, doesn't he wanna walk you home? Isn't that what good boyfriends do?” 

Bucky looked at Sam for a good five seconds, like he was processing what had just been said to him and then the next thing Sam knew, Bucky was laughing. More like howling actually. A few people on the street were looking at them with weird looks. 

“What?” Sam cheeks started to warm up from embarrassment. 

“Wait- hold on-” Bucky was laughing through the words. He took another couple seconds of laughing. 

Well at least this is the first true emotion he’s ever seen from him. And his laugh… his laugh ain't half bad. Who was Sam kidding? It was beautiful. If Sam wasn't in this predicament he would've been in some sort of dreamland because of his laugh. 

Ocne Bucky finally had enough he stood up straight and ran his fingers through his hair. 

“You think--” He started to laugh a bit again, “that me and Grant are boyfriends?” 

“Yeah.” Sam said as if he was stating the obvious.

Bucky snickered, “where did you get that from?” 

Sam exasperatedly sighed, “Grant said you were partners. So, me having a logical sense in the year 2019 and being gay, I thought that ‘partners’ was either boyfriends or husbands. It's not that hard to link you guys together. From the short time that I have met you two, which is not a lot. You guys are close. You have this true relationship with Grant. So I’m sorry if I got it wrong.” By the end of it Sam was kinda pissed off and it showed in his tone. 

Bucky stopped laughing and snickering halfway through what Sam was saying. His face was straight, but his eyes seemed sad. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Sam started walking again and didn't reply.

He heard footsteps behind him but didn't turn around. 

Bucky caught up and Sam could tell that he was looking at him, “Hey, look, I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset.” 

He gently grasped Sam’s forearm and made him stop. He tugged Sam to the side of the pavement, away from the walking pedestrians. 

“I am sorry,” Bucky’s eyes were filled with hurt and sadness. “I didn't mean to make you angry or mad or upset,” 

He let his hand drop from Sam’s arm, “Fuck,” He muttered. He ran his hand through his hair again. “I’m not good with ...human interactions much. I didn't mean to offend you either, I really didn't mean any harm. Please, Sam, I’m truly sorry for how I reacted.” 

Those eyes. Those fucking eyes. They will ruin Sam. Filled with so many expressions and emotions. All so easy to read when his eyes are laced with them. 

“What are you guys then?” 

“Friends. Best friends. I knew that punk since I was a kid.” He paused, “which was a very long time ago. And y’know since we grew up together we have that special bond together, a special friendship. But that's it. I love’em, but how you love a brother or family. Once again, I’m sorry.” 

Sam looked at Bucky and he could tell instantly that he was sincerely apologetic. Sam wondered why he groveled so hard for an apology. It's not like they were super close or anything, but it seemed like he had to get Sam to accept his apology. 

Sam sighed, “Yeah, I forgive you. It's fine.” 

Bucky smiled slightly, “Are you mad at me?” 

“No, I am not mad at you, but why would that even matter?” 

Bucky started walking again and if Sam didn't have great hearing he would've missed Bucky saying, “I don’t want you to be mad at me.” In the softest voice. 

The rest of the walk back home was actually very pleasant. Somehow, they turned their awkward way of speaking to each other into bickering, bantering and maybe, Sam may dare, a little bit of flirting. 

Bucky was the complete opposite to what Sam thought he was. Sam originally thought that he was going to butt heads with him and he thought they were not going to agree on things and it would be a problem. Maybe it was the mustache that was giving him a bad vibe, but Bucky was not like that at all. If they did disagree with something it would be a friendly disagreement that would be brushed aside. 

He was also a lot more energetic in his own way. When Sam usually saw Bucky he was straight faced and rigid. Showing no emotion. His vocabulary mostly consisting of a couple one syllable words. However, right now, he was enthusiastic, sarcastic and a bit of a tease. But all around having a very chill and laid back aura to him. If he had long hair and a beard he would've totally fit more into the hipster neighborhood. 

While they were talking Sam would catch flutters in his stomach every few minutes. His nerves going into overdrive, his heart skipping beats every so often, just because of Bucky’s light soothing voice. He could listen to it all day. Sam could just imagine that voice whispering seductively in his ear, all warm, giving Sam shivers down his back and giving him a pleasant ache in his groin. 

They didn't really talk about anything in depth. Sam avoided all questions about his job, knowing that it's a touchy subject for him. So he kept it light and fluffy. They talked about their favorite TV shows, the neighborhood, Bucky’s choice in fashion

_ “Man, I gotta ask you. Why do you wear the clothes that you do?” Sam was chuckling as he looked Bucky from top to bottom. The clothes that he wears does nothing for him. Yeah, Sam still finds him attractive. Very attractive. But he could do so much better than the khakis, gingham checkered button up, and scruffy… dad shoes. Bucky’s eyes widened playfully, “Hey, hey, hey. Do not diss my clothing choices.” Sam waved him off with a smile, “Whatever, man.” Bucky smoothed down the front of his shirt and said, “You know, about a couple years ago I had long hair and scruff.” Sam looked at Bucky incredulously, “Really?” Bucky looked straight into Sam's eyes and nodded. _

They finally made it back to the apartment and they didn't stop talking until they reached their doors. 

“Thanks for walking back with me.” Sam said. 

Bucky’s eyes were soft and sparkling. They were putting Sam into a trance. A trance that Sam did not want broken. 

“Yeah, not problem at all.” Bucky's voice matched his eyes. There was an underlying hint of huskiness to his voice that made Sam feel weak. 

Sam put his hand on his doorknob, “So, I’ll-” 

“Can I get your number... for texting purposes.” Sam saw Bucky flush slightly and to be honest Sam kinda got flushed too. 

“‘Cause you know, I work a lot and I may not see you in a little while.” 

Sam pulled out his phone and handed it to Bucky, “yeah it's no problem.” 

Sams heart was close to beating out of his chest at the thought of Bucky having his number.

He gave Sam his phone back and smiled softly at him, “Night, Sam.” 

“Night, Bucky.”

Sam went in his house and went and laid down on his sofa, replaying all that went down this evening and how he got to the place with Bucky having his number.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was gone yesterday guys. I had to go out yesterday to get stuff for uni and when I came back I just crashed. Im still recovering today, but I will still bless you guys with a chapter. I want to make it up to you and post a double chapter soon. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys like the chapter!

_ I like him. I really like him. Dammit, Sam.  _

After the incident after the coffee shop, Bucky and Sam had become surprisingly close towards each other. When they bumped into each other into the halls they would talk all the time. The conversations were always light. They would talk about how their day went or talk about how they would spend the rest of the evening. But things would get even more interesting when they would bump into each other when the sun went down. 

On some days when Sam would make his way home he would run into Bucky and they’d end up talking about their usual stuff and Bucky would then suggest to go and get a nightly drink or some food. The first time it had happened Sam was stunned, not thinking that Bucky would ask him to do anything with him. 

_ They were about five minutes away from their apartment from where they were standing and chatting. Sam saw Bucky at the train station and decided to go and talk to him since they were going the same way home. While walking they had a pleasant chat, like they always do.  _

_With Bucky his day always seemed to stay the same, he would have the same daily routine. Nothing different, nothing new. But Sam always had a new story to tell. Either it was about his patients, or his coworkers, or the two young interns. Sam looked forward to tell them Bucky when they had this time together. And seemed like Bucky enjoyed them too. Always thoroughly listening, putting in little cheeky side comments sometimes or just plain laughing or snickering. One time Sam asked him why he lets himself go off on a long story about his day. Bucky simply said, “I like hearing your voice.” Sam was caught off guard and started to feel his face heat up. He quickly laughed it off and teased something back. After that Sam couldn't help but feel the heat in his stomach flare every time he saw Bucky. _

_Anyway, after that Bucky hinted that he wanted to get something to eat because he was hungry, but Sam suggested that he could pick some chinese up on the way to the apartment. Bucky then stopped walking which made Sam stop too. “No, I mean like I wanna sit down. Take my mind off the day before I go home.” Bucky paused and looked at Sam who was looking confused. Bucky rubbed his moustache before he rubbed the rest of cheeks and chin. “I mean do you wanna go and get something quick to eat or something. I know a place.” Bucky’s eyes looked hopeful and a bit hesitant and nervous. Sam smiled, “Yeah. Yeah, I could eat something.” He put his arm out, “Lead the way.’ _

_Bucky took him to this cute little restaurant on one of the back streets. The road to the place was sketchy and the outside of it was not very appealing. But once inside it was beautiful. It gave off a very chill and cozy vibe. The place decorated with warm colours browns and reds. And it had fairy lights everywhere. Twinkling all around the pace. Giving the place a soft golden glow. It was really a hidden treasure. _

_ Once seated and everything Bucky ordered for both him and Sam. While waiting they continued what they were talking about before. However, when the food came the conversations became deeper, more in depth. Not just about anything, but about each other. Bucky didn't disclose everything about himself, but it was a lot more than Sam thought he would ever get.  _

_ When they got back to the apartment Bucky was all relaxed and soft. His whole body language was gentle and lethargic. And his eyes- his eyes were sparkling in amusement. Sam would never forget that look. Never forget how Bucky looked at him. It made Sam shudder. Sam had an amazing night. _

Sam sighed as he walked up the stairs to his apartment still thinking about those nights. Late night food with Bucky was one of Sam’s favourite things to do. He smiled too himself as he dug his keys out of his bag. Sam was so concentrated on finding his key he didn’t hear the door next to him open. 

"Hey, look at you,” Sam's head snapped up with his hand still deep in his bag. “I like your scrubs.” Bucky finished softly. 

“Ha ha thank you.” Sam laughed dryly. 

He continued digging in his bag to find his keys. As this was happening he felt Bucky’s eyes still in him. Making Sam feel hot and heated. 

He finally found his keys and looked up at Bucky again, “What?” 

Bucky didn't shy away or look in another direction to avoid that he was staring. He just continued looking fixedly at Sam. 

“Nothing.”

Sam looked at Bucky for a couple more seconds before nervously laughing and trying to open his door. 

“How was work?” Bucky asked. 

“Good thanks. Same old stuff to be honest. Wanda’s out sick and everyone is getting the blues because summer is taking way too long.” 

Bucky nodded and “mmmm’d” 

Sam leaned against his door frame and looked at Bucky, “what have you been up to today?” 

Bucky did the same on Sam’s opposite door frame, making them very much closer. 

“Nothing much. Went into work for a little bit but nothing major or anything. It's been a slow week.” 

Sam scoffed, “Its Tuesday.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Same fucking thing.” 

Sam laughed and Bucky seemed to like that response and a slow smile spread on Bucky’s face. It was one of those rare smiles that Sam was lucky to see. It's a radiant smile, making his look like he’s in his teens or young adult years. It's a smile that Sam loves to see. 

“I was wondering-” as Bucky started talking his phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered. 

“Yeah….. Are you fucking kidding me….. Yeah alright I’m there…..” 

He hung up the phone and put it back into his pocket, “Shit.” He muttered to himself.

Worry started bubbling in Sam’s stomach as he saw what had just transpired. Just 20 seconds ago Bucky’s face was carefree and benign and now his face has switched to its walled off expressionless manner. Devoid of Bucky’s true emotions. 

Bucky stroked his moustache a little too rough and sighed. 

“I gotta go.” 

Sam could tell that Bucky was also upset about their interruption as his eyes were filled with annoyance and sadness. 

“Yeah of course. It sounded important.”

Bucky gave Sam one more apologetic look and quickly went into his house came out and left. 

**….**

Sam just got out the shower and was getting ready for bed when his phone dinged. He left it for a minute to get dry and put on some pajama pants. Once that was finished, he sat on the side of his bed and checked his phone. 

_ **B** _ **ucky: Hey. I'm still sorry about leaving you earlier**

Sam smiled down at his phone.

**Sam: I told you that it was okay and I meant that :)**

Sam left his phone on the bed and went to quickly check if he turned off the stove and locked his front door. All check. 

He came back to bed and saw three new texts from Bucky. 

**Bucky: Yeah I know. I still feel bad**. 

**Bucky: It was just something came up at work**. 

**Bucky: I kinda wanted to go down to Hustlove tonight for our usual talks and stuff.**

Sam could tell that Bucky was scratching the back of his neck when he sent the last text. 

**Sam: Why don’t you come over for breakfast tomorrow**

**Sam: Unless you have work….**

The reply was instant. 

**Bucky: yea i love too **

_ Bucky must of typed that out real fast. His usual grammar is gone.  _

**Sam: Cool. I'll see you in the morning then :)**

**Bucky: *thumbs up***

**Bucky: Goodnight, Sam. **

Sam could just hear the sweet smooth voice telling him goodnight. 

**Sam: Night Buck.**

Sam got turned off his bedside lamp and got under the duvet. He snuggled into his pillow a soft smile at his lips.

**….**

Sam was having an amazing dream about him and Bucky, but it was interrupted by the consistent knocks on his front door. 

It took a moment for Sam to realize where he was. Sam started making unintelligible sounds and lifted his head up from his pillow slowly with his eyes still half closed. He smacked his lips, dry from them hanging open during the night. He then sat up fully and rubbed his eyes, still very confused. Once again, Sam had the whole morning off after a long week at the hospital and that can do something to a man's energy levels. 

The knocking continued and it seemed it wasn't going to let up. 

Sam threw his duvet off of him and shuffled to the door. He looked through the peephole and saw Bucky standing there looking down the hallway and then looked down at his feet. 

_ Oh shit! I overslept.  _

Sam couldn't just run back and put on some clothes, that would take too long. He just had to face the music and say that he was sleeping. Bucky would understand. 

Sam unlocked the door and slowly opened it, revealing only his head. 

“Why were you standing behind the door for so long?” Bucky asked with his head slightly cocked to the side. 

“Good morning?” 

Sam’s voice was evidence enough that he just woke up. 

When Bucky started to realize his eyes were filled with amusement and he started smiling. 

“C’mon, open the door Wilson.” 

Sam opened the door a little more for Bucky to walk in. 

“Sorry about the mess. I was supposed to wake up and clean up from last night but I crashed last night and obviously overslept.” Sam was running around the living room picking up the plates and glasses he left there yesterday. He quickly dumped them in the sink. 

However, Bucky’s eyes were not looking at the slight mess in the living room, but looking at Sam. 

His eyes roamed from Sam’s sleepy face to his bare chest and they stayed there. Just looking, gazing, taking their fill. 

Sam’s face started to heat up “Sorry about all this,” Sam motion to the mess and himself, “I’m gonna go make myself more… presentable and you can make yourself at home.” 

Bucky chuckled softly, “no worries. You’re kinda cute when you're sleepy.” 

Sam snickered, “yeah, right. I’m like a chicken with my head chopped off.” 

Bucky full on laughed with his head back, revealing a long column of his neck. Sam had to force his eyes away from staring for too long. 

“Nah, it’s cute.” 

“Yeah, okay, whatever. Look, I'll be right back. You can go sit and watch something. Just make yourself comfortable.” 

Sam quickly made his way back into the bedroom and closed the door and leaned upon it. He then snatched up a navy blue t shirt and some jeans and then flew into the bathroom. He was quick in there not wanting to leave Bucky for too long. Sam didn't have time to think or process what had happened in those short minutes. He brushed his teeth and then hopped into the shower and lathered and rinsed. He wrapped the towel around his hips and left the bathroom. He dried and threw on the clothes. He quickly checked his appearance and straightened up his shirt. 

_ The most presentable I’ll get for being rushed. _

He opened the door and Bucky looked back and smiled. He started to get up and make his way to Sam. 

He looked Sam up and down, but didn't say anything except for, “breakfast?” 

Sam rolled his eyes, “of course. Lemme get started.” 

Sam made his way to the kitchen and Bucky sat on the stools near the counters. 

“Need any help?” 

“Nah, I got it. You just sit there and enjoy.” 

“I will.” Bucky’s voice was slightly gravelly and thick.

Sam ignored what that voice did to him and pulled out the eggs, milk, toast and bacon from the fridge. 

“So, what's for breakfast Wilson?” 

Sam cracked the eggs in a bowl and started whisking as he said, “French toast, eggs, bacon and some fruits. With extra plums just for you.” 

Bucky but his gloved hand over his heart. “You shouldn't have, dear.” 

Sam couldn't fully laugh at the comment as his mind was elsewhere. He was too busy thinking of that gloved hand. He never really had the courage to ask about why he wore it. But now with it just staring right in front of him Sam just had to know. 

“Can I ask you a personal question?” 

“Go for it.” 

Sam shuffled on his feet white he started to scramble the eggs. He was nervous. What if Bucky took it the wrong way and got mad? Should Sam just mind his own business? 

“Ugh, this is gonna sound- I don’t want this to come out wrong or for you to be offended or for you to be mad and if you don’t wanna answer it then it's all cool. All good-”

“Wilson just ask me the damn question.” 

Sam made sure his eyes stayed on the skillet, “why do you always that glove on your right hand?” 

Sam held his breath as there was deafening silence filling the room. He quickly caught a look at Bucky and he was looking at his hands that were on the counter. He didn't see angry or upset or mad. His face was just blank. The face he makes when he has to leave for work. But there was pain behind his eyes this time. 

“Look, man, sorry I asked you. You really don’t have to answer it.” Sam said. “It was stupid.” He muttered the last part. 

Sam put the eggs on two plates and checked on the bacon. He then cracked some more eggs for the french toast. 

Sam heard Bucky sigh heavily and he stole a look at Bucky who was now staring at Sam. 

“Its- it's a long story.” Bucky sounded tired. Sounded like he’s holding up the worrying weight of the world and it’s finally breaking him. He sounds broken. 

Sam took a step closer to the counter where Bucky was sitting, “Its okay. You don’t have to tell me.” 

Bucky looked like he was struggling with his inner self. Conflict written all over his face, his eyebrows scrunched, his lips pulled tight. 

“ It's not that I don't want to tell you. Its just… its difficult. The story behind my arm is…. long and tiring and something I don’t really want to relive.” 

Sam quickly took out the bacon before they burned and then turned back to Bucky and took his gloved hand in his own. The leather glove was smooth and warm. Bucky squeezed Sam's hand in return, scared to let go. 

“Buck. If it pains you to talk about it, you don’t have to, okay? On your own time, if you’re willing, you can tell me. It’s alright. I mean it. I know it can be hard to open up about a traumatic situation. I’ve seen it all before. I’m not gonna judge you and I'm not going to force you. All I can do is be here for you.” He rubbed the back of Bucky hand with his thumb. 

Bucky looked into Sam’s eyes and Sam saw unshed tears sitting there threatening to spill. But he wouldn't let them fall. There was something there that Sam couldn't put his finger on. Like he was being shown something in there. 

He took his hand from Sam and started to take off the glove slowly. Piece by piece Sam started to see reflective metal being shown. When the whole glove was gone Sam was staring at a mechanical hand. It had mechanical grooves and lines to help with the movement of his fingers and palm. It also had thin small plates throughout the hand. 

“It goes all the way to my shoulder.” Bucky said breaking the silence. 

Sam couldn't imagine this whole thing being a whole arm. 

Sam wanted to touch the cool metal but thought against it. Keeping his hands on the counter he just looked at it. The arm seemed to be very substantial and robust. Like a real arm, but stronger and sturdy. 

“Let’s just say I was in a horrible accident.” Bucky chuckled bitterly as he remembered how he got his arm. 

His eyes were far away, off in the distance. Sam could see that both his hands were scrunched into fists and he could hear the whirring and clicking of the mechanical arm. Bucky’s whole body was tense as a bow string. 

Sam finally decided to put his hand back into Bucky’s “woah, hey, come back to me.” 

Bucky’s eyes slowly made their way to Sams brown ones. They were still empty and far away, devoid of his usual expressive eyes. 

Sam had to coax Bucky to come back, saying reassuring words to him, holding Bucky’s hand in a firm grasp to let Bucky know what he’s here, rubbing up and down Bucky’s back soothingly. Eventually Bucky let his body relax and came back to himself. 

When he did his face turned from emotionless to apologetic. Sam knew that Bucky was going to start throwing ‘I'm sorries’ at him. His face was scrunched in sadness. 

“Sam-” 

“No, don’t say it. There is nothing to apologize for.” 

“But Sam, I- I shouldn't have….” Bucky sounded like he was in pain. Straining the words out. “I could've become dangerous. I could have hurt you.” He murmured.

Sam shook his head and continued rubbing Bucky’s back, “No. You wouldn’t have hurt me. I know that for sure.” 

Bucky snapped his head up to Sam’s and shook Sam’s hand off his back, “No you don’t Sam. I am a fucking dangerous person. I hurt people. So many people. And I could’ve hurt you.” 

Sam looked at Bucky for a couple of minutes trying to read him, trying to give him some space, give him some time to gather his thoughts and emotions. 

Bucky rubbed his eyes with the heel of hands harshly and groaned slightly. 

When he looked back at Sam and he looked defeated. He looked tired. 

“I was involved in a… serious accident,” Bucky tensed up again, “It was a long time ago when I was younger and it was really bad. Had to sever my arm, it obviously no longer worked. I was then kinda given this arm without my permission.”

He paused and his eyes went far away again but quickly came back and found Sam’s. 

“After I woke up, I wasn't the same, Sam. I was a fucking horrible person. Messed up in the head. I wasn't safe. I was a dangerous person. Much more dangerous than I am now. Fuck, Sam, if you only knew. I was away for a very, very long time. Doing… unspeakable things. That’s why I’m dangerous Sam. I could hurt you. I’m still messed up in the head.” 

Bucky closed his eyes very much physically ashamed of what he had just revealed. 

“I’m not a good person, Sam. You’re a good person. Being a nurse and everything, helping people. You help people and I do the opposite.” Bucky just about whispered. His voice was broken and scared. 

Sam didn't know what to say, his heart was trying to beat out of its cage and out of his chest. Sam wasn't scared of what he had been told or scared of Bucky. Sam was two things: He was worried and he was heartbroken. 

Bucky viewed himself in such an awful way. And Sam could tell he was still holding back. There is still so much more to what happened. 

Sam’s heart was sinking but at the same time in his throat. Making it hard to swallow. 

Sam moved crossed the counter and stood next to Bucky. “Hey,” Sam’s voice broke and was very muffled from the lack of airway in his throat. 

He took Bucky’s jaw in both of his palms. Slight stubble scratching Sam's hand. 

“Look at me and listen. You are not a bad person Bucky. Absolutely not. Yeah, you’ve done bad things in your life, but look at you now. Are you still doing those things? No, you're not. You’ve changed, you’ve gotten better, you’ve gotten help. And that can only go up from here. Do you have the urge to do what you’ve done in the past to me or some other person in the streets?”

Bucky shook his head, “‘Specially not you.” He whispered. 

“See. You are not the same person that you were before.” Sam said sternly, slightly shaking Bucky’s head of emphasis. “I don’t know the full story and I have only known you for a short time but from what I've seen and what I've been told and can tell that you have changed for the better. You have changed for yourself to have a better life. You are not a horrible person Bucky. I see you do amazing things for others everytime I see you. And your not fucking dangerous, not around the people you love and care about.” 

Sam stroked Bucky’s jaw with his thumbs softly and smiled. 

“So stop. Stop with the self bashing and self hating. Me and so many other people think you are an amazing person. And I lo- like who you are. No matter what you did before. Okay?” 

Bucky’s clear blue eyes were filled with tears and one trickled slowly down his cheek. His eyes were laced with awe. That awe sparked brightly within them. He nodded his head slowly. 

Sam flashed him a toothy grin, “good.” He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and help on tight and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Bucky did the same on Sam’s neck and deeply breathed in Sam’s scent. His moustache was scratching on Sams neck as he slightly moved his face. His arms were wrapped around Sam’s waist tightly. As if he was afraid that Sam would disappear. 

After a good minute of them just involved with just each other, they reluctantly let go of each other. 

“Thank you, Sam.” 

Sam squeezed his prosthetic hand, “you’re very much welcome.” 

Sam went back to the food that he previously left on the counter and continued on with breakfast. 

“You’re really good at that.” Bucky commented. 

“What? Cooking?” 

“No, helping other people. I dunno. You help me calm down and bring me back to myself. No one can do that. It even takes my therapist some time to get me to come down when I’m riled up.” 

Sam shrugged, “when you’re a nurse you have to. And I’ve worked at a PTSD center and stuff. It's second nature to me to care for others. But with you… It just ... weird as it may sound- it felt natural with you.” 

Bucky smiled softly, “no, not weird at all.” 

Sam smiled down at the food in the pan. A warm and bright ball in the pit of stomach exploding and warming Sam everywhere in his body. 

**…..**

Breakfast went off was great. Sam felt like they really needed that talk and revelation for them to move forward in whatever they were doing. The air was easier around them. Conversation flowed a bit better. No more of Sam catching himself asking a question about his past, thus leaving a millisecond of awkward silence. There was no more tension or curiosity on Sam’s part to know what happened. 

They bantered and joked and had a bunch of laughs during breakfast. At one point Bucky made Sam laugh while he was drinking his coffee and Sam choked. Luckily Bucky jumped up from his seat and gently, but firmly patted Sam on the back. Sam brushed the situation after he could breathe again but Bucky’s face was filled with wariness and sternly told him to “be careful.” 

They talked about everything. No more barriers on what to talk about and what not to. They didn’t talk about the accident of Bucky’s arm but they did talk about Bucky’s family and how he grew up and how he met Grant. One interesting thing Sam found out was Grant was skinny as a stick. Which was unbelievable because Grant was very muscly. Almost like body builder. 

Bucky leaned back in his chair. Sam could tell that he was well fed with a small little plumb round belly being shown through his button up. 

“Damn, Wilson that was good.” 

Sam chuckled at what he was looking at, “yeah, thanks. Man, you look like my uncle after Thanksgiving dinner” 

Bucky laughed and lit Sam’s body up. 

“What I aspire to be.” He joked. 

Sam stood up and started gathering up the dishes. 

“Hey, woah. I can do the dishes 'cause you cooked.” Bucky started to get up as well. 

“No, no, no. It's my house and you're my guest so I’ll do both. You sit there and rest like you were before.” 

Sam took the plates into the kitchen and heard Bucky following him. 

“Wilson. Let me at least dry the dishes.” Sam face was of disapproval. “Think of it as a way of saying thanks.” 

“Fine. You wash though because you don’t know where things go.” 

Bucky’s face was beaming with a huge smile. 

“Scoot over, Wilson.” 

Doing the dishes was a mess. It started off nice and civil. Bucky washed the dishes and Sam would put them away in their respectable places. But that didn't last. 

“Are you serious?” 

While Bucky was washing the dishes he ‘accidentally’ splashed water on Bucky. 

Sam tried to hold down the laugh that was threatening to escape, “what?” Said Sam innocently. 

Bucky huffed playfully and continued to wash the dishes. 

Then Sam did it again and this time he could hold in his laughter. He barked out a belly laugh and doubled over when he splashed water on Bucky’s faces with his fingertips. Bucky sputtered. 

“Sorry- I’m sorry.” Sam was still heavily laughing. 

Bucky wiped his face, “well you don’t sound sorry to me.” 

“Oh man,” Sam finally caught his breath and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “I really am sorry.” 

“Yeah okay-” Bucky caught a pool of water in his hand and splashed it on Sams chest. 

Sam gasped at the sudden wetness seeping through his shirt. 

“You’re gonna regret that.”

Bucky cocked a brow, “will I?” 

The floor and counter were covered with puddles of water. There were still many dishes in the sink. Water droplets were slowly falling down the walls and dripping off some parts of the ceiling. And Sam and Bucky moved onto the other side of the counter near the dining area. Both of them were soaked with water. The water making their clothes stick snugly to their bodies. 

And what Sam saw made him feel a bit hot and bothered. Bucky definitely did not have dad bod. He was most certainly beefy, but beefy in a way where he was still muscular.  _ Fuck he’s so…. _

Sam’s stomach hurt from laughing so much, same with his cheeks and his lungs hurt for not giving them enough oxygen. 

“STOP! BUCKY STOP!” Sam was laughing and yelling at the same time trying to get away from Bucky who had a cup of water. 

“You wanted it Wilson.” 

“No, no, no, no-” 

Bucky then put down the cup and before Sam knew it Bucky was behind him and had his arms wrapped tightly around his waist once again. He then picked Sam off the ground easily. Not once huffing or puffing. Sam was not that light of a person. So Sam was completely caught off guard. 

For a second Sam was able to calculate the feeling of Bucky being pressed to his back. He was sturdy and strong yet soft like a teddy bear. And the warmth Bucky was emitting was warming Sam all over. He radiated such warmth and was giving it to Sam. He felt wonderful. And his arms. They were fucking amazing. They were powerful and they made Sam feel safe in them. He never wanted to leave them. 

“Okay, okay, I surrender. I give up. You win.” Sam said struggling to catch his breath. 

Bucky let Sam go a couple seconds later and Sam hated the cold air that hit his body when Bucky removed himself. 

“You shoulda never picked a fight with me.” Bucky said. 

His voice was light but his eyes were heavy and dark. They did something very compelling to Sam’s nether regions. 

“Yeah well, you cheated.” Sam replied weakly. 

The atmosphere the Sam’s apartment changed completely. The air was thick, making it hard to breathe and the sexual tension was seemingly noticeable. 

“Better get to the dishes.” Bucky started walking back to the kitchen, leaving Sam in the dining area. When the dishes were finished Bucky got a text from Grant saying he was needed at work. 

“Thanks for breakfast Sam I really enjoyed it. Better than our late night meetings.” 

Sam held the door open for Bucky to walk through, “it was my pleasure. We should do it again.” 

Bucky looked into Sam’s eyes and nodded. The sensual look still not gone from his eyes. 

“I’ll text you later.” 

Sam smiled and nodded. 

“Oh, and thanks. For everything.” With that Sam watched Bucky walk down the hall. 

_ Fuck, I love this man. How did this happen? Dammit, Sam.  _

Sam shut the door and locked and started mopping up the water that was left on the floor. That's when Natalie texted him. 

**Natalie: Hey!**

**Natalie: Me and Clint are having a small dinner this Friday. Just like a get together kinda thing. And we wanted to invite you obviously. **

**Natalie: So text or call if you can make. Hope you can make it Sam. It would be awesome :)**

_Well I guess I have plans for the weekend._

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Sam: Help me. **

**Sam: I don’t know what to bring to this get together thing**

Sam was sitting in the lunchroom at work with his food off to the side and his sole attention was on his phone. Sam was fretting about Natalie’s get together dinner tomorrow. So Sam resorted to asking Bucky what to bring. 

**Bucky: You don’t have to bring anything. No one ever does_. _**

Sam replied back immediately. 

**Sam: yeah but I still don’t want to show up empty handed. **

**Sam: C’mon help me out. **

**Bucky: Fine. Just bring something easy like wine or some sort of liquor. It’ll go down well. **

Sam fell back onto his chair. All the stress in his body being released. _That's a good thing to bring. _

**Sam: Thanks Buck you're a lifesaver. **

**Bucky: Hey Sam, I have a question.**

Sam looked at his phone for the next thirty seconds thinking that Bucky was going to text him his question but it never came so Sam finally turned his attention to his discarded lunch. He was just about done chewing his first bite of the sandwich when his phone vibrated on the table. 

**Bucky: Are you bringing someone? **

Sam replied immediately without deeply thinking about his answer. 

**Sam: First off why would I bring someone?**

**Sam: Secondly who would I even bring? **

Sam bit his lip as he considered his next question. 

**Sam: are you bringing someone? **

Sam quickly turned off his phone and flipped the screen so he couldn't see it Bucky’s answer right away. In that moment Jane walked in with a container of salad. She said a quick ‘Hi’ and sat down across Sam eyeing him suspiciously. 

“Why do you look so guilty Samuel?” She teased. 

Sam shrugged and took a bite out of his sandwich. “I don’t know what you're talking about.” 

It was silent in the lunch room for a minute. The only thing filling it was the soft sounds of food in their mouths. 

“Was it Bucky?” Jane shoved a forkful of lettuce in her mouth and took a sip of her water.

Sam tried to deflect her question, “y’know metal straws are the new it thing right now.” Sam was eyeing her plastic straw in her water bottle. 

“SAM.”

“Alright, okay, yeah it was Bucky. So what?” 

Sam doesn't even know why he’s trying to hide his friendship? Relationship? With Bucky. Mostly everyone he shares his lunch break with knows. He’s talked about him, complained about his feelings about him, shared his feelings. Everyone has put their two cents in about his predicament. Even Shuri and Peter who told him to just ‘straight up’ ask Bucky out. Bruce even said that he shouldn’t hide his feelings from Bucky and just tell him how he feels. Basically, everyone was on board with Sam asking Bucky out, but Sam keeps stopping himself. 

Deep down Sam knows that he’s just scared to really pursue things with Bucky. He’s a beautiful person. Inside and out. There is something about his personality and his soul that makes Sam light up. Everytime Sam sees him his heart bursts, his soul sings, he just becomes a firework. And Sam is actually starting to somewhat like his moustache. Kind of. But that's not the point. That's not what makes Bucky who he is. Sam is just infatuated with this man and he’s scared. Scared he’s going to get heartbroken again. 

“You know what, Sam. Really what's going on?” Jane asks. 

Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I dunno. I’m just overreacting and reading into everything too much. There's this dinner tomorrow at Nat’s house and I’m just being over dramatic.” 

Jane's eyes light up and a smile starts creeping up on her face. “Sam! This is perfect!” She exclaims. 

Sam scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “How is this perfect? I don’t know what I’m fucking doing.” 

Jane leans on her elbows to bring herself closer on the table. “No, Sam you don’t get it. This is perfection. This is your chance to make your move. I know you have moves Sam Wilson, with those sparkling eyes and that charming smile. I know men swoon over you.” Jane leans back into her chair with a _ thump, _“Take Bucky aside and talk to him. Really talk to him. You guys have been dancing around this for about a month and a half. Way too long. Now is your chance and you’re going to take it.” 

Jane is fucking right. Sam just needs to suck it up and make a move on Bucky. He’s pretty sure Bucky feels the same way with him. He’s seen the way that Bucky looks at him, with his heart eyes. Or maybe lust eyes. Doesn't matter. He knows that Bucky wants him too. So that's what Sam is going to do at this dinner. Finally get his man. 

He flips his phone back and saw a notification from Bucky. 

**Bucky: No, I’m not taking anyone. The people I already want are going. **

**Bucky: Do you wanna, like, drive there together? It's easier. If you want. **

Sam smiled. Bucky was so awkward. 

**Sam: Yeah I’d like to show up together. **

**….. **

Sam looked over himself in the mirror. He wanted to look casual but also look good enough for Bucky to eat. After pulling most of his clothes out of his drawers and closet and taking about 40 minutes to decide on what to wear he decided to wear a nice deep red cotton shirt that had a slight v neck that his sister got him for Christmas and nice dark washed jeans that sculpted his ass nicely. Sam was just finishing his final touches when there was a knock on the door. 

Sam’s heart flew up to his throat. He quickly grabbed the nice bottle of whiskey from his counter that he found at some boujee liquor store on the way home that day and went to answer the door. He immediately swung it open and saw Bucky standing there and Sam’s mouth went dry. 

His hair and moustache was the same, but what he was wearing was completely different. Bucky was wearing a plain black shirt that looked so soft and a leather jacket with black jeans and combat boots. _ He looks so fucking sexy. _

He has never seen Bucky wear anything that he’s wearing now. Bucky is always wearing his suburban dad clothes which consist of some sort of square pattern button up and khaki pants or shorts. And sometime jeans. To Sam he always look hot but he has never seen him look like this. Trendy and hip and overall so desirable. 

Sam wasn't the only one that was drooling. Bucky mouth slightly agape and was literally drooling out the side of him mouth. He looked Sam up and down and Sam could feel those blue eyes burning him. His body was tingling all over and the heat in his lower stomach was making him squirmish. Bucky looked like a lion and Sam was the stake. Bucky was the predator and Sam was the prey. Lust was swimming in Bucky’s eyes. They were so dilated that there was a thin line of blue left. Sam didn't know what to do with himself. His body was trembling with want as Bucky looking at him like that all he wanted was to jump on him. 

“You look,” Bucky swallowed thickly, “really nice.”

Sam smiled in return, “yeah you too. You look amazing actually.” He looked Bucky up and down then looked back into Bucky’s eyes. “I’ve never seen you dressed like this. It really suits you.” 

Sam swore he heard Bucky groan in the back of his throat but he couldn't be sure. 

“Let's get out here shall we?” Bucky’s voice was thick and husky and it seriously turned Sam on. 

Once they got in the elevator Bucky pressed the lowest level which is the garage. Sam has never seen Bucky drive. 

“Why are we going down into the garage?” 

Bucky smirked at Sam, “you’ll see.” 

Once in the apartment parking lot Sam followed Bucky down the lines and lines of cars until one of the cars beeped and Bucky started to walk around and opened the drivers side. 

Sam stopped and stared at the G Wagon in front of him. It was beautiful. It was black with tinted windows. It was so shiny and new and sleek and just ugh. The car was the second thing that took Sam’s breath away tonight. 

“What in the hell! Where did you get this?” 

Bucky leaned on the car door, “Brought it.” Bucky said it as if he’s not driving a $120,000 luxury car. 

“Not to offend but with what money man?” 

“Y’know military payback and not gonna lie my boss pays be pretty handsomely now.” 

Bucky hopped into the vehicle leaving Sam gawking in front of it. 

“Are you gonna jump in?” Bucky asks through the open window.

Sam rushed in the car, not wanting to waste any time sitting in the G Wagon. 

Sam couldn't help but wonder why he never noticed Bucky having… money. He definitely doesn't show it off or flex it. 

“So you like to stay humble I’m guessing?” Sam asks as Bucky pulls out the parking lot. 

Bucky shrugged, “What's there to buy. I have all the necessities and stuff. I don’t really need anything else. I only brought this because it was required for work.” 

“So your job asked you to buy a 100 grand car?” 

Bucky looked at Sam with playful eyes, “what can I say?” 

Sam laughed, “alright man, whatever you say.” 

**….**

Natalie lived on the upper side of Brooklyn. Basically, the more richer side. Where Sam and Bucky was located was still a nice area, but Natalie lives in an area where you may run into celebrities. Bucky said she has very expensive taste so her and Clint had to move to an expensive area. If Sam were honest Bucky could have moved into the same area with all this money he has stored. 

The car ride to Natalie and Clint’s place was nice. They talked a bit, simple conversations. They mostly talked about the housing prices and New York market at the moment. Which is probably their first really mature and domestic kind of conversation. When they were finished talking about that they just let the music on the radio fill the air. 

It wasn't awkward, the air wasn't filled with unnecessary tension. It felt natural to just sit there and just let your mind wonder. Sam and Bucky grew past the awkward tension. Occasionally, Bucky would drum his fingers on the steering wheel along with the song or softly hum. And his hand would be placed on the gear shift, so close to Sam that he would just wanna take Bucky’s hand in his and just hold it. Just let Bucky’s warmth run course through his body. 

About 20 minutes later they pulled up to a long street filled with identical famous Brooklyn bricked town houses. Bucky parked against the curb and looked at Sam. 

“Ready?” 

“Lets go.” 

Bucky led them down the street, about 30 feet away from where Bucky parked the car. They came face to face with a nice sleek black door and Bucky rung the doorbell. 

“What kind of liquor did you buy?” Bucky asked as they waited for the door to open. 

“Expensive ass whiskey.” 

Sam heard footsteps and then the door opened. 

“Sam! Bucky! Come in!” Natalie greeted them with huge smiles. 

She was wearing a tight fitted black dress that went down to her knees and black heels. Her hair was straightened, unlike her messy hair that she usually has. She looked the part of a hostess. 

Once inside she gave Sam a huge hug and then lightly punched Bucky on the arm and muttered something in Russian to him with a smile on her face. 

“C’mon everyone is upstairs.” 

They made it upstairs where the living room, kitchen, bathroom and bedrooms are. Natalie and Clint’s house was very luxuriated. Filled with reds and golds and browns and greens. Very earthy, but very fancy at the same time. When Sam walked in the first person that he saw was grant who was standing next to a blonde woman. 

“Grant, hey what's up man?” He went over and quickly hugged the man then looked over at the woman and stuck out his hand. 

“You’re new. I’m Sam.” The woman had a very firm grasp on his own. 

“I could say the same thing about you, Sam.” She smirked and dropped his hand, “Sharon.” 

Sam pursed his bottom mouth out and nodded. He then pointed to her then to Grant. “You two together?” 

He saw Grant go red in the cheeks and a bit flustered. 

“I'm taking that as a yes.” Sam laughed and Sharon joined in. 

“Yeah. Been dating for a couple of months. Knew him for about two years-” 

“SAM!” 

Sam turned around and saw Clint dressed in an apron and holding a wooden spoon that had some sort of sauce on it. 

Sam grinned, “Hey! My man!” He went over and have Clint a hug and trying not to get any sauce on his shirt. 

“Glad you could make it dude.” Clint said once they pulled back. 

He followed Sam into the kitchen where Bucky and Natalie were drinking some sort of beverage. He caught Bucky’s eyes and smiled softly at him. Which he returned tenfold. 

“So what are you cooking in here?” Sam asked trying to play shit off cool. 

“Alright, so, for dinner we are having beef ragu with pappardelle. Which is gonna be served with red wine.” 

Sam crossed the island counter and looked at all the ingredients that he was surrounded by. “Damn, Clint. That sounds fucking amazing.”

“Here ‘cause you’re my favourite friend.” He handed Sam a fork that had beef on it.

“Excuse me. What about me, Clint.” Bucky said accusingly. 

Sam ignored the rest of the conversation because he was on his way to heaven. _ Holy. Fucking. Shit. This is so good. _Sam closed his eyes and softly groaned as he felt the soft beef touch his tongue. The flavor of the beef just burst on his taste buds and treated them. And the texture was unbelievable. It was so fucking soft. No toughness or chewiness you sometimes find in beef. No, this beef was made from a special cow. Sam couldn't even feel himself in need to chew on it. It was so damn soft, it just melted on the tongue. 

“Sam’s in food heaven.” Sam heard Clint says. 

Sam finally opened his eyes and looked at Clint, “man I don't even know what to say to you right now. That was fucking beautiful. I’ve never tasted beef that soft. Nat, you got yourself a keeper.” 

Natalie chuckle in her cup of wine, “yeah I know.” She rubbed Clint's shoulder lovingly. 

“You wanna know my secret? Slow. Cook. Just leave the beef to slow cook for about 5 hours and then its perfection.” 

“Oh man that's good.” 

Natalie handed Sam a glass of wine, “here you go. Now let’s go. We left Grant and Sharon to themselves for too long.” 

They entered back into the living room and Grant and Shanon were on the big burgundy sofa chatting. 

Bucky went over and made himself known to Grant. Sam went and sat on one of the adjacent arm chairs and so did Nat. 

“What are you two lovebirds on about?” 

“Nothing much, St-Grant talking about work.” 

Natalie took a sip of wine, “Mhmm. Rule of the night. No more work talk-- yeah I’m talking about you two, Bucky and Grant. This is going to be a fun night with good friends alright. We still have Thor and Bruce to come.” 

Sam’s ears perked up at the name of Thor and Bruce. 

“You guys know Bruce and Thor?” 

“Yeah, Thor used to work with Bucky and Grant a while back. How do you know Bruce and Thor.” Natalie asked. 

“I work with Bruce at St Johns.” 

Sharon's eyes widened in wonder, “You work over there. Are you a doctor?” 

Sam shook his head, “nah, I’m a nurse.” 

Sharon still looked impressed. “Wow. St Johns is a great hospital. Very advanced too. Your lucky you get to work there. Know many people there too. Bucky how did you get this man?” 

Bucky sputtered on the whiskey he was drinking and choked a little bit. He started coughing and going red faced. It was all a bit of a mess. Sams face was filled with concern and was going to go over and help him until Natalie started patting harshly on his back. 

“Did I say something wrong?” Sharon muttered to Grant as Bucky was still coughing up his lungs. 

Grant rubbed his eyes with his thumb and finger. 

Sam decided to butt in, “me and Bucky aren't together.” 

Sharon looked surprised and looked at Bucky in confusion. “Oh. I’m sorry, I thought you guys were. It's just that you guys showed up together and whenever Bucky’s at work he’s always talking about this Sam guy,” She gestures to Sam, “all the time. Always complimenting you and talking how great-” 

“Okay, thanks, Sharon.” Bucky strained to say. 

“Do you want water?” Natalie asked with her hands weary around Bucky. 

“No. I’m fine.” 

The doorbell interrupted the situation and Natalie exclaimed “thank God!” 

They all sat there in awkward silence looking into space. Sam wanted to say something to break the ice but he knew that whatever he said may not lead into a long enough conversation. So he just sat there quietly nursing his wine. 

A few seconds later there were two light steps and one heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. The silence was broken by a booming voice. 

“Friends! We have arrived.” Sam obviously knew it was Thor. “Hey guys,” Thors loud voice was then followed by a smaller, quieter voice. Bruce. 

Thor came into the living area giving everyone large hugs. He engulfed Grant in a large hug and heavy handedly patted him on the back and saying something that Sam couldn't quite hear. 

Thor then found Sam and his eyes lit up like a kid. 

He placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders, “My friend Sam, what are you doing here?” Thor asked, “Bruce! Our friend Sam is here at this gathering!” Thor then wrapped his huge arms around Sams neck and squeezed him. For a minute Sam couldn't really breathe. 

Sam patted Thor’s back lightly, “yeah, good to see you too, man,” Sam huffed. Thor finally let go and Sam could finally breathe. 

Bruce came out of the kitchen and made himself known to everyone in the living area. He was surprised that Sam knew these lot and Sam vice versa. 

“Yeah, I sometimes help them out with the scientific information that they don’t really understand on their missions,” Bruce answered when Sam asked how he knew the group. 

“Yes. And I used to offer my assistance on these escapades of theirs, but I found that recently I am too busy for such.” Thor added .

Once Bruce and Thor came the Natalie and Clint’s house became a lot more louder. It doesn't help that Thor’s regular speaking sounds like shouting a bit. But there was not one moment where it was just silence. The living area was filled with laughter and talking. Clint eve came out a couple times to get into the mix. Everyone was having a good time and enjoying themselves. Sam was also pleased and surprised that Bucky was cracking small jokes here and there, joking around with Nat and Grant and being a lot more playful than usual. 

Sam loves social gatherings and was very much an extrovert so he was very comfortable talking and chatting about anything. The alcohol was flowing and Sam was becoming a little more looser. Sam’s laugh could be heard from the kitchen. Once you get him going there no stopping. 

It was interesting watching the people around him inebriated. Natalie became more rowdy; talking over people, pointing at everyone, laughing at little things. He guard was let down. Usually she was more alert about the things around her. Sharon just became a lot more giggly and from what Sam could catch from just knowing her from a couple hours is that she is not a giggly, bubbly person. Thor claims that ‘our’ alcohol is not enough to get him drunk so he is pretty much the same. But that doesn't help as Thor is always adding to the noise. Bruce became quieter when drunk. Not in a shy way, but in a way where he was just too out of it to speak. Like he was in his own world. Both Grant and Bucky also don't seem to be affected by the drinks. Yeah Grant had a very light flush on his cheeks and Bucky’s eyes are drooping slightly, but they seemed the same. They were looser than the usually are though. Bucky seemed very relaxed in his chair. All the muscles in his body are slack and eased. Every now and then his gaze would wander over to Sam’s and they would softly smile at each other before returning back to the conversation at hand. 

An hour has passed since Clint comes out with his apron off and a big grin on his face. 

“And dinner is ready.” 

Everyone got up. Some more slowly than others due to drinks. But they all made it to the dining room where all the food was laid out. 

And there it was, the dinner that Sam has been waiting to eat since tasting the meat. 

They all sat down at the table. Bucky found his way to sit intentionally right across from Sam. Bucky made eye contact with him and his eyes were glinting with passion. They were a bit lazed, but still strong and effective to Sam. Sam could feel the heat return in his groin. 

Natalie refilled their glasses with a deep red wine and held her glass for a toast. 

“To amazing friends that I can spend this dinner with and many more!” 

Everyone around the table clinked their glasses and said ‘Cheers!’ After that everyone dug in and collectively around the table everyone moaned at the taste of the food. 

“I’m back in heaven.” Sam said with a mouth full of food. 

Everyone ‘mmm’d’ in agreement. For a few minutes the table was just filled with teeth chomping and every so often someone’s lips making contact with the thin wine glass. 

When everyone got their fill of the food that's when the conversation started back up again. They just picked up where they left off in the living room. Which was the story of when Grant used the “most cheesiest pick up line known to man” according to Sam. 

“SAM! You! You need a boyfriend!” Natalie yelled. 

Sam should've just kept his mouth shut. 

“Oh? My friend does not have an intimate partner?” Asked Thor. 

“No. No, your friend doesn't have a- an intimate partner. I don’t really need a boyfriend right now.” Sam tried to keep it light. Especially since they person he wants as a ‘intimate partner’ was sitting right next to him with a sour face. 

“C’mon, Sam when was your last relationship?” Sharon asked. 

Sam really didn't want to have this conversation. 

“About two years ago.” 

Natalie’s eyes went wide, “see this is why you need a guy. You’re too much of an amazing guy to be left single.” 

“Thanks guys, but I’m fine seriously.”

Clint got into it, “Pshhh, that’s what they all say.” 

“We could set you up with good guys. Not just some random guys. Really nice, handsome guys. C’mon, Grant, Bucky help me out here. You guys know a lot of single people at work.” 

Grant's face was becoming red and so was the tips of his ears, “um, not that I know of,” Grant answered weakly. 

Sam took a peak at Bucky and his sour face increased. His lips were tight and his scowl could kill. He kept his eyes directly at his cup of wine. If Sam didn't know any better, he thought that he was going to make the glass explode. 

“Yeah right, Grant you know many single people at work.” Sharon said offhandedly. 

Natalie looked at Sam, “thank you Sharon. Sam you are an amazing guy. You shouldn't hide yourself away.” 

Sam chuckled lightly but his heart was through the roof, “again, thank you, but right now I’m happy with where I’m at.” 

Natalie squinted her eyes, “one day Samuel Wilson I will find you an amazing guy who is worth your time. He will be amazing and funny and he will take care of you and be the best man ever. And then your gonna thank me. And then you guys are gonna get married and it's all going to be because of me.” Natalie kept blathering and blathering on. 

“Okay, guys let’s just leave Sam to his life, alright?” Bruce cut in. 

Sam shot him a thankful look. He was the only one at the table who knew who Sam liked. Really liked. _ Loved. _

He looked at said person and he looked miserable. Both of his hands were in fists and Sam was sure that he bent the fork from force. His body was a complete opposite of how it was earlier. Now his body was tense and strained. Sam could tell just from looking at his chest that he was breathing abnormally. Something was not okay here. _ Is he sick? _Bucky must’ve felt Sam's eyes because he looked up. Bucky’s eyes hit Sam in his gut. They were beyond sad, beyond melancholy, beyond angry and annoyed. His eyes were bleak and desolate. Just filled with emptiness. And that hurt Sam. He doesn’t know what's going on, he just knows that something is very wrong. 

“Are you alright?” He mouthed. 

Bucky raised his eyebrows and nodded. He emptied his glass of wine and tried to get back into the conversation. 

Sam could tell that something was still bothering. No matter how hard he tried to laugh or how much he was talking. His body was still taut and behind his eyes was still sorrow. 

Sam couldn't fully get back into dinner after that affair. All he could think about was Bucky and how he was feeling. Sam didn't want a boyfriend, he wanted Bucky. He wanted Bucky to be his boyfriend, his intimate partner. His lover. He wanted to be everything with Bucky. He didn't want someone from Bucky and Grant workplace. He didn't want some random guy that he didn't know. He wants Bucky. For Christ sake, he loved the man. Sam doesn't know when he fell in love with him but he just did. It just happened. One day he just looked at Bucky and he felt it in his mind, body and soul that he loved him. Maybe it was the day Bucky brought Sam a box of macaroons and they ate them out on the fire escape one night. Who knows. All Sam knows is that he has his heart. 

**…..**

Once dinner was consumed everyone made their way back into the living area. Everyone was scattered all over the place; Sharon was taking over the couch with her head in Steve's lap, both Thor and Bruce were sitting leaning their backs on the couch in front of Sharon and Clint and Natalie were sharing an armchair. The conversation was getting much more lazy and sleepy. Everyone was pretty much food and alcohol drunk. 

Sam was very close to being in a food coma and his brain was all fuzzy. He was just chilling in the other armchair in his own world. So it did take him about 20 minutes to realize that Bucky has been in the bathroom for a bit too long. He got up from his chair and mumbled something to the others and went to go look for him. 

He was about to go see if he was still in the bathroom when he saw Bucky on the terrace all alone looking out at the city. 

“What are you doing out here?” 

Bucky turned around slowly and acknowledged Sam. “Just needed some air.” 

Sam went to go stand beside him. He still noticed that something was wrong. Ever since dinner Bucky has been acting unusual. 

“Are you all right?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?” Bucky snapped back. 

Sam looked at him incredulously, “geesh man, I’m just asking.” Sam was getting a bit annoyed at Bucky’s reaction. He didn’t know what he did to get Bucky upset like this. Sam didn't even think he had anything to do with it.

“Fuck.” Bucky muttered. “I’m fine. I’m sorry. It's just a lot is going on in my head.” 

Sam touched his forearm, letting his hand softly grip the leather. 

“You haven't been the same since dinner. What's going on?” 

Bucky sighed, “nothing that you need to worry about.” He turned and smiled at Sam. His body became less tense than it was a few seconds ago. 

Sam knew something was still bothering him but he dropped it.

They both stood there in silence just looking at the twinkling lights of the city beyond them. 

“What was your old boyfriend like?” Bucky asked. 

Sam’s heart skipped a beat a little bit. He didn't want to talk about his ex to a man that he currently loves. 

“Riley. Um, yeah,” Sam took a second to gather himself, “he was a good person. We met in my senior year of high school and it was good y’know. He was always a gentleman, he was funny, a genuine kind person. It was young love at the time.”

“What happened between you two?” Bucky’s voice was strained. 

Sam looked down at his hands clutching Bucky’s arm, “At the end of high school he wanted to go into the army and I obviously wanted to go to uni. So we did long distance for the longest time until it just didn’t work anymore. We kept fighting, kept arguing. It didn’t help that I couldn't fully understand what he was going through over there. And together we decided that we weren't the same people we were in high school. So we called it quits. I went my way, he went his. And then a year and a half out of uni I found out that he-” Sam’s heart started to crack and break. Water was welling in his eyes. “He died. He passed while he was Afghanistan.”

Sam has been over this many times. He’s talked to a grief counsellor for two years after Riley’s death. He handled it and he coped with it and he finally put it to bed. His wound finally healed over perfectly new. But sometimes that would can still become a bit raw. Sometimes Sam would cry and let it out. It was better to let it out than keep it in. 

Bucky pulled Sam into his chest and held on to him. Sam wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and clutched to him like he would leave or disappear into the thin air. He placed his head into the crook of Bucky’s warm neck and just inhaled his scent. Bucky’s hand comfortingly went up and down Sam’s back. 

“It’s okay.” Bucky whispered. 

After Sam calmed down he nuzzled Bucky’s neck and lifted his head and met Bucky’s eyes. 

Sam felt gross. His eyes are probably red, puffy and wet. And he probably had some snot under his nose. 

“Sorry there’s most likely tears and snot on your shirt.”

Bucky shook his head, “I don’t care.” 

Bucky didn't move his arm and Sam didn't make a move to leave them. He was comfortable in Bucky’s warm and strong biceps. Sam’s body was buzzing all over from being chest to chest with Bucky. The familiar warmth came back to his groin and it was inflamed. Sam had to be careful before he popped a boner. Bucky’s eyes were fully back with barely any blue left showing. His breaths were coming in shallow and deep. _ Fuuuck, this man. _Sam just wanted to jump on him. 

Bucky licked his lips slowly and Sam followed the action and his eyes stayed there watching the moist lips. Sam felt like he was on fire. His pants were tighter than usual. However, he felt Bucky right against his thigh. He was completely hot and hard against Sam. Sam wanted to moan and whimper at the feeling. 

“Fuck, Sam, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He gripped Sam’s hips harshly. 

This time Sam did moan. A deep delicious moan. Bucky bucked into Sam slightly and groaned. The earth's natural oxygen between them was gone. They were both breathing each other's air as one panted in, the other panted out. 

Sam just couldn't hold it in anymore. He stuck his tongue out and softly licked Bucky’s bottom lip. He was so soft against his tongue. More blood went down to Sam’s cock. 

“Sam,” Bucky groaned. Sam was about to take things a step further, but the doors to the terrance swished open and there stood Grant. His face immediately went tomato red. His face to his ears to his neck. He looked like he didn't know where to go or look. 

Sam and Bucky broke apart instantly breathing harshly. Sam stood there awkwardly failing to try and hide his erection. 

“Buck, they found him,” there was an urgency in Grant’s voice, “we gotta go. If we wanna catch him. Now.” Grant then fled the terrace in a hurry. 

During that small time that Grant was talking his cock went back down, no longer making Sam feel uncomfortable, but there was still a roaring fire within Sam. 

He looked at Bucky expecting him to say something and he did. 

“I-I gotta go. But, um, I’ll see you later.” He sounded so unsure and hesitant. He didn’t really look at Sam. He looked down at Sam’s shoes, avoiding his eye contact. 

Bucky followed Grant out and Sam was left alone on the terrace. 

Sam’s heart felt empty. He knows it shouldn't be over something so small but it does. The alcohol is making him more emotional than normal. _ Why didn't he look at me? Why did he sound so fucking guilty? _

Sam was in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Natalie come out. She came and stood next to him. She didn't say anything to him for a couple of minutes. They just stood in comfortable silence. 

“I was so blind to not see it,” she began, “the stupid alcohol muddling my senses and shit. But now I see it. I see the way you look at him and how he looks at you. The body language between you two is…. Passionate and personal.” 

She looked over at Sam who was still looking over Brooklyn. 

“The sexual tension you guys have is unreal now that I look back at it.” She paused “is this why you don’t want a boyfriend? He’s the one you want, isn't it?” 

Sam sighed and put his head in his hands, “Nat… I love him. I love that man and I- I don’t think it reciprocated. This is what always happens. I always put my fucking heart into shit.” 

Natalie grabbed his shoulder and made him face her, “No, Sam. Do not put this on yourself. Listen to me, I know for a fucking fact that Bucky feels the same way. Bucky, he- he’s not the best with expressing his emotions. Especially when he thinks that no one will want him. He has this complex that he’s worthless and people don’t want him and all this other bullshit that’s so wrong. But I know that he loves you. Have you seen the way that looks at you? Like you're the only person in the room? He drools over you. I can tell that he is very protective over you, dinner showed me that. Don’t doubt the fact that he has feelings for you. Bucky just needs a little coaxing. Bucky will be an amazing partner for you and you for him. I can see it. He’ll treat you like the most precious jewel in the world.” 

Sam engulfed Natalie into a hug and whispered a ‘thank you’ in her hair. He needed to hear that. He needed reassurance on the situation. And it was nice that Sam can express his feelings someone who's close to Bucky. 

“I think it’s time for me to go home.” Sam said. 

Natalie nodded and they both made their way back into the house. 

The party was dead now. Sharon left with the boys, Clint was inside doing the dishes and clearing out and Bruce was asleep on Thor. 

They decided that it was best that Thor dropped Sam off because he was already going that way with Bruce. And Bruce really need to go to bed. 

**…..**

Sam was ready for sleep. He almost slipped in the shower three times because he let his eyes droop. Sam dried off and just pulled on his boxers and fell into bed. 

The feelings that he felt with Bucky was still lingering in his body. It was like a light was flickering, waiting to grow bigger. All Sam wanted to do was wander his hand down past his abdomen to grab his cock and stroke it to get an easy but pleasing release. But Sam decided against it. He wanted to come by Bucky’s hand and fingers and mouth and cock. Hopefully. 

So Sam closed his eyes and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The teasing in this chapter is just too much hehehe. Don't worry they will get together very very soon ;)   
Hope you guys enjoyed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you guys will like this chapter ;)
> 
> Not beta'd, all mistakes are mine.

Four days. 

Four fucking days and Bucky has been MIA. 

Sam has not seen him since their night on the terrace. He texted Bucky the day after and asked him if everything was alright and he replied with a dry,  yeah _ .  _ That's it just a ‘yeah’. That's the last time he’s heard from him. And it’s not like he can’ hear him shuffling about next door every now and then next door all the time. Sam knows he’s being ignored and avoided and he just doesn't know why. It definitely has something to do with their heated session that night at Nat’s

Sam tries not to think about that night or worry about Bucky. The only time he really does think about it is when he’s trying to sleep in his dark and lonely room. He can’t help how his heart is aching without seeing or talking to Bucky. He felt like he and Bucky were really progressing in their relationship and were going to take the next step, but now all Sam can think is that he scared him.  _ Maybe I moved too fast for him.  _

Sam even went to get and ask Natalie what was going on. He guessed that she probably knew where Bucky was because of Grant who talks to Clint who then obviously tells Nat. 

_ Sam sat on the couch sipping on his coffee staring off into space. Natalie was on her break so she was sitting next to Sam on her phone.  _

_ “Have you heard from Bucky lately?” Sam asked.  _

_ Natalie put her phone down, “no, not really. Whats going on at his workplace has him stressed. Has he spoken to you?”  _

_ Sam shook his head, “nah, hasn't talked to me since the dinner at your place.”  _

_ There was a moment of silence before Natalie begin talking again.  _

_ “He hasn't spoken to me. To be honest from what Clint is telling me he hasn't been talking to Grant either. Grant saying that he’s a lot quieter than usual and he’s becoming… reckless with his work. That’s all I got from him.” She paused for a moment before she continued, “and hey, do not go blaming yourself for anything. Just give him some time.”  _

_ “What am I gonna blame myself for?” Yeah Sam felt heartbroken and sad that Bucky is avoiding him, but Sam wouldn't blame himself for something he knows he didn't do. _

That was the last and only update he got from Natalie about Bucky. 

After Natalie said that he was becoming reckless Sam started to get worried. At first Sam was kind of annoyed that Bucky was avoiding him, now all Sam wanted to do was see him for himself so he knows that he’s okay. Sam doesn't know much--actually doesn't know anything about Bucky’s work except that it’s for the government. But Sam ain’t stupid, he knows that Bucky’s line of work is dangerous and involved him being physical. And the last thing Sam wants to hear is that Bucky hurt himself or even worse….

While he was being avoided Sam tried to move along as usual. He stuck to his regular routine. Wake up, go for a run, pick up a coffee, go to work, and then come home. Repeat. 

Work was going well as usual. Sam kept the whole Bucky thing to himself not wanting to tell everyone about it. The only one that he can really talk to about it at work is Bruce and even he doesn't really know what's going on. He definitely knows behind Sam’s bright smile and charming eyes that he’s hurting by Bucky’s disappearance. Bruce always told Sam that he would try to get information out of Thor but came back empty. 

By the 9th day Sam was just plain old tired of the situation. 

Natalie told him that Bucky was fine and everything and was with Grant for their job and that was all he got.  _ “Yeah, Grant said he’s fine and everything. Tired from work. Y’know their jobs work them to the bone. But he’s all good.”  _

Sam tried to push everything he felt for Bucky and his heartbreak aside or in the trash. Sam was not going to be heartbroken and sad and fucking depressed over someone that doesn’t want to see him. Sam even saw Grant leaving the coffee shop two days ago. So he knows he’s in town, but is steering clear of Sam and he was sick of it. Sam was not going to wallow anymore. He was done with it. It was gonna be hard trying to fall out of love, but Sam wasn't going to put his time into someone that won’t do the same for him. 

To clear his head and try to get a new perspective of everything he called someone that he could tell every single detail of his emotions to. His Mama. 

They went through the pleasantries and everything. Sam talked about what he’s been up to since the last time he called, leaving Bucky out. His job, his friends, his neighbourhood. Everything. His mama also talked about what’s going on with her. Sam was happy and broke out into a real smile when she talked about his sister and his niece. He sure does miss them. It was good catching up with his mama. 

“What’s going on baby?” an accented voice filled the phone. “Somethin’ ain’t soundin’ right wit’chu. What's wrong baby?” 

Sam heaved a long sigh and closed his eyes. “Mama,” he started, “I met someone.” 

“Then why do sound so down if you met somebody? Hmm?” 

“I dunno, Mama. I just-- This guy, Bucky, we started talking and we really started to bond with each other. And Mama you know me. I fall hard. And I have all these feelings for him and-- I dunno, he just started ghosting me after we almost kissed. So now I’m just done waiting for him.” 

There was silence on the other end of the line. Sam knew that his Mama was formulating all that he just said. 

“Samuel, do you really love this man?” She asked honestly. 

Sam nodded his head, “yes, Mama. There’s Something so different about him and ugh-- I'm stuck. I don’t know what to do.” 

“Listen here baby, if this man truly loves you like you do for him, he will come back to you. And if he doesn't then he is not the man for you. And I know that is hard for you because of Riley, but if it doesn't work out you gotta let him go baby. But I have a feeling that this Bucky will come back to you. No one can just date my baby and leave him behind. I’m gonna leave you with this Samuel, give him time to collect himself, collect his thoughts. This man might be scared of a new relationship or somethin’ for all we know. Just let him come to terms with his feelings and you guys’ relationship by himself. But if that day of him walking back into your life ain’t coming soon, you need to move along baby. You need to focus on yo’ self. Don’t let yo’ self get mentally drained. Take care of your temple first, baby. It will all work out in the end baby. It always does.” 

Sam really wished his Mama was here in the flesh so that he can just sink into her arms. He really needed one of her hugs right now. Now when his heart is still cracked. 

“Thanks, Mama. I'll talk to again soon, okay?”

Sam could hear his Mama smile, “of course baby.” 

He hung up his phone and sat there to let everything sink in. It was good talking to his Mama and hear what she had to say about everything. She was a very unbiased and rational woman so Sam always took her advice. Even if he thought they were wrong, they always turned out right. And the times that he ignored them, he ended up with a result Sam was not happy about. 

Sam got up and started to get ready for work and for the first time in a couple of days Sam didn't feel as down as he did before. 

**…..**

Sam came back home late from a night shift at work. When he hit his mattress it was 1:20am. He took an almost 10 hour shift. So it wasn't a surprise to him when his head found his pillow he was out like a light. 

All Sam knew was that he was in a peaceful sleep. It was one of those sleeps where you don’t dream. You’re just looking at nothing and you don’t even realize it. One of those sleeps where you fall asleep one second and the next your waking up and not even remembering the nothingness you saw. So when his door was being pounded down it took him awhile for his brain to catch up to reality. Its like Sam had to drag himself up to consciousness. 

The pounding of his door was constant and loud. If the person who was doing it pounded any harder his door would fly off its hinges. When Sam finally understood what was going on and wasn't just laying there confused he jumped up from his bed and rushed to the door, stumbling over his two feet.  _ What if it's the police? Maybe the apartment building is on fire? What if it's my Mama? Oh fuck! _

Sam didn't even look through the peephole, he flung his door open and was met with a worried and haggard looking Grant holding a passed out Bucky. Grant looked awful. His face was battered with bruises that look like hell. Scattered blue and purple on his cheek, forehead and eye. His lip was also split and bleeding. His eye was also red from probably a blood vessel that popped. Sam couldn't even tell what Bucky looked like right now. His head was flopped down and his neatly parted hair was all over the place and falling in front of his face. Both of them were wearing black stealth outfits that were ripped it some places and in others looked damp. 

“What the fuck happened?”’ Sam was wide awake now and was hustling them into his apartment before neighbors started to see what the noise was about. 

Grant didn't say anything. He just dragged Bucky’s big body to the couch to lay him down. 

“Grant! What the fuck?” Sam exclaimed. 

He can’t just come into his house all bloody and busted and not say anything. 

“It was a trap. We were led into a trap Sam.” Grant rushed out. “I can’t tell you more or you’ll be in more danger.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“We’re not supposed to be here right now. You’re not supposed to be helping us, but we need it. Sam we need you, he needs you.” Grant said, “Fuck. We trust you Sam, that's why I brought him here.” 

Sam was still very much addled about the whole situation. “I thought you guys knew people in St Johns?”

“Yeah we do, but this is different. They would have to ask questions and we can’t do that yet. And we don’t know who is working tonight. Not everyone there knows about us. It's just too risky to go to a hospital, we needed someplace that we knew and a person that we trusted with a medical background. That's why we’re here.” 

Sam looked at Grant. The man looked so tired and pleading towards Sam. Then his eyes travelled to a passed out Bucky who was completely busted and bruised as well. 

“What do you need?” 

“Just patch him up. He’ll heal pretty quick but the cuts he has are too deep to just leave them.” 

Sam could do that. Easy.  “What about you?” Sam asked. 

“I gotta head out and meet with Sharon. Everything is in shit.” Grant started walking towards Sam but stopped, “I was gonna give you a hug, but I don’t want to get blood and other stuff on you.” 

Sam chuckled lightly, “it’s alright man go, I got him.” 

Grant walked to the door but stopped, “when he wakes up make sure he doesn't just walk out and leave. 

Sam nodded and Grant left. 

Sam stood in the middle of his living room with a passed out Bucky that looked like shit. Sam didn’t linger for too long, wanting to get his cuts clean as soon as possible. He went to the bathroom to receive his medical kit. 

There was so many thoughts running through Sams brain. Sam couldn't grasp hold on any of them.  _ What are there jobs that has them so beat up and scared to go to a hospital? Why are the so hurt? What happened to them? Why are they wearing stealth suits? What happened to Bucky for him to pass out. What the flying fuck! _

Sam made it back to the living room and Bucky was still asleep. Sam sat back on his feels and opened up his kit. Bucky looked worse than Grant, but that's only because on top of his black eye and bruised and cut lip he had blood splattered on his face and his neck. His hair was also damp of sweat and possibly blood as well. The smell of copper was just wafting throughout the room. 

“Bucky what did you get yourself into?” Sam muttered to himself. 

As Sam cleaned off the blood with a wet cloth he was in his own head. Sam didn't want to let his nerves take over him, even though his hands were shaking. He’s scared and worried for Bucky. Sam didn't know what was going on with anything and was left in the dark. And now here Bucky was looking like death itself. Sam knew Bucky was going to be fine but seeing him like his did something to his insides. It made him feel completely hollow and empty. His heart was in the pit of stomach which he felt like throwing up. Seeing Bucky like this made him want to clutch to his body and hold tight and cry. Just ball his eyes out. Sam's eyes were already watering and the view he was looking at. About half of his face was clean of blood. He re-dipped the cloth in the bowl of water and continued cleaning. Even though Sam has only met Bucky about three months ago, he feels like he’s known him for longer and Sam doesn't know what he would do if Bucky was critically injured. Or something worse. He just can’t fathom it. 

“Hey,” a croaky voice appeared that jumped Sam. 

Bucky was looking up at his with heavy eyes. His left eye was barely open due to inflammation. Sams heart fluttered. 

“Bucky,” his voice cracked. 

Bucky looked concerned, “Are you okay?” 

Sam felt annoyance bubble in his stomach, “No. No I’m not.” 

“Why?” Bucky started to get up but winced and clutched to his side. 

Sam noticed and pushed Bucky back down gently, “we’ll talk about it later. Let me just clean you up.” 

Sam quickly and efficiently cleaned up the rest of Bucky’s face. He then started to get cleaning alcohol and a cotton bud to clean up his split lip and any other cut. “This might sting a bit.” Sam was in complete nurse mode. Ignoring and oblivious to Bucky staring lovingly up at him. 

Sam bit down every question he had and dropped the bloody cotton balls in plastic bag.. He then put a small dollop of ointment on his finger and softly rubbed it onto the black part of his eye. He was soft and gentle for the surrounding area. All the while he was staring back into Bucky’s fiery eyes. 

“I missed you.” Bucky whispered. 

Sams heart stopped beating for a couple seconds and he froze every movement. But he wasn't going to let Bucky off so easy. 

Sam scoffed, “you’re the one that stopped talking to me.”

Bucky’s face dropped and was about to say something until Sam butted in. 

“Here, we gotta take off your shirt so I can see what's hurting you.” 

Sam helped Bucky sit up as carefully as he could without making Bucky pull something. He then started to peel the gross shirt of his body. It was a bit difficult since putting Bucky’s arm up hurt quite a bit and the shirt was stuck on a patch of blood. But he finally got it off. 

Sam looked at the bruised chest and sides. His eyes travelled to a mangled shoulder where his prosthetic is. It looked horrible. The skin around it was all mutilated and damaged. It looked fucking painful to look at. Know Sam knew a bit more of Bucky’s painful story. He wanted to touch it, caress it, love it. Show Bucky that he isn't afraid of it or thinks its ugly or hideous. Show that there is not need for him to insecure because of it. 

“Uh, Sam, my wound.” Bucky broke Sam out of his thoughts once again. 

“Oh, shit sorry.” 

Sam then looked to his side and saw a disgusting bullet wound and a slash that was most likely from a knife. 

“What happened to you?” Sam asked as he looked at the gruesome side. 

Bucky ignored Sam’s question and looked at the blank TV. 

Sam huffed and started to inspect the bullet wound and sure enough the bullet was still lodged in there.  _ Shit.  _ Sam got out his more advanced tools and started to sterilize them. 

“I gotta get this bullet out of you, alright? So this may hurt like a bitch.” 

“I’ve had worse.” Bucky muttered. 

Sam let that comment pass as he started to get the bullet out. 

**…..**

Two hours later, Sam was surrounded by bloody medical cloth, gauzes and cotton balls. The bullet was wedged deep in Bucky’s flesh so it took a lot of probing and careful moving for Sam to take it out. It was a messy and gruesome job for one person in their apartment, but he got it done successfully. Bucky was also a good patient, staying still during the whole procedure. Of course he flinched and winced every now and then, but did extremely well to not making any vital movement which was impressive since he was not under any anesthetics. 

Sam wiped his hand on a clean towel, “All done. You did good.” 

Bucky’s bullet wound and slash was now problerly cleaned and bandaged up. He also made Bucky take painkillers after, in which he downed four. 

“Thanks, Sam.” Sam felt like there was more to what he had to say but he didn't so he got up to wash his hands. 

_ I’m gonna have to take another shower.  _ He had blood and medical alcohol all over his clothes and no way was that sanitary. 

As Sam went into the kitchen he heard Bucky’s footsteps following him. 

“Can we talk?” 

“About what?” Sam asked bluntly. 

“You know what.” Bucky deadpand. 

Sam turned off the water and turned to Bucky, “no, I don’t know what Bucky.” 

Bucky stood there quietly guilt building up in his eyes. 

“I don’t know what you want to talk about Bucky. You’re the one that stopped talking to me and stopped messaging me. Not once from your mouth or words did I get an update to see if you were alright. I had to ask Nat most of the time. Not to mention when I was around Nat or my coworkers I was heartbroken because you fucking ghsoted me without an explaination as to why. I made myself look like a lovesick idiot and it seems like I was the only one that felt that way. So, no, Bucky I don’t know what you want to talk about because I have nothing to fucking say.” 

Bucky made a choking noise and his face was filled with shame. “I’m- I didn’t mean to make you feel like that Sam.” 

Sam rolled his eyes and shrugged at him. 

Bucky stepped closer to Sam and took hold of both of his hands and held them in firm but tender grasp, “I keep saying this to you and you’re probably annoyed because of it, but I’m sorry. Those things you were feeling are the last thing I ever want you to feel. I just- I got scared. And I know thats not a fucking excuse because its not. I was a fucking coward and I ran. I left. Because Sam you are the only good thing that I have in my life and I got scared that, I dunno, that I’d fuck it up somehow or you’d leave me or I’d ruin it. I don’t get good things often and then you came into my life like a fucking light, like heaven I just didn’t-- I don’t wanna let you go.” Bucky’s flesh hand travelled up to Sam’s jaw and caressed it softly, his thumb rubbing on the connecting joint. “You are so fucking good to me and I got scared of that. So I did what always do and I fucking ran. And I’m so sorry.” He looked deep into Sam's eyes with misery laced in them. “I understand if you just want to drop it or something.” 

Sam felt his eyes welling up and he smiled softly. He brought his hand to the side of Bucky’s face which he leaned into. “Didn’t you hear me Bucky? I said I was lovesick because of you.” He locked eyes with Bucky, “I love you.” Sam said it with full confidence, no longer wanting to keep it to himself. 

Sam heard a sob come out of Bucky’s throat and then the man placed his face into the crook of Sam’s neck where he felt the beginning of wetness. Sam brought his hand up to the nape of his neck and caressed it softly. He just held Bucky there and swayed softly. 

After a couple of minutes Bucky brought his head back up and his face was red and his cheeks were streaked with tears. His eyes were twinkling with warmth and deep affection. “I love you too. I love you so fucking much you don’t even understand.” He then pulled Sam deep into his arms for a soft hug. 

Sam sighed and smiled, loving the feeling of him engulfed with Bucky’s arms and his love. Bucky’s hand was tenderly running up and down Sams back, leaving a scorching fire behind. 

Sam put his face into Bucky’s neck and placed a soft kiss there and felt the other man’s breath hitch. 

“Sam,” Bucky whispered. 

Bucky’s hands brought Sam back in front of him and brought him to Bucky’s lips.

At first it was just the brushing of lips which made body ignite with fire and passion. Sam grasped Bucky’s shirt harshly and that's when it seemed like Bucky snapped. The pushed his lips more insistently on Sam’s. Bucky kissed Sam slow and deep. His jaw opened and closed to keep up with Bucky’s movements. Sam moaned into Bucky’s mouth wildly. Sam’s body was reacting savagely to Bucky’s wet kisses. While kissing him he felt Bucky moustache scratch him repeatedly, but soon got used to it and then Sam decided that he actually loved the feeling of scratchy hair on his skin. It made him feel even more hornier than before. His whole body was one fire, it was on a whole different planet. And his cock was filling slowly but surely, while Buckys was already fully hard and then some. Sam could feel wetness seep into his sweatpants and it felt absolutely nastly. But Sam loved it. Bucky licked into Sam's mouth. It was wet, warm and sensual. If Sam wasn't careful he would come just from Bucky kisses. Sam sucked Bucky’s tongue into his mouth and sucked on it and licked around it which earned a hearty groan and Bucky bucked into Sam. 

“Fuck, Sam,” Bucky groaned harshly. 

Sam slowly opened his eyes and came face to face with an uninhibited Bucky looking at Sam wildly. That look made Sam want to just climb him right in his kitchen. 

“What?” He asked teasingly and licked Bucky’s lips. 

“Dammit, Sam. You gotta stop.” Bucky gripped Sam’s hips savagely. And it made Sam feel so fucking good. 

“Why?” Sam’s inner minx was coming out and he was ready to tease Bucky. 

“Because if you don’t I can’t control myself.” He moved his lips to Sam’s ear and whispered, “I’d want to bend you over the counter and fuck you until you could stand any more and then I’d fuck you even more. That’s why. And IF I could control it and continue I’d come from all your fucking teasing.” He licked a stripe on Sam’s lobe and groped Sams ass. 

Sam’s legs were quivering at this point and were not stable just from Bucky’s kissing and dirty talk. 

“Alright, alright. Fuck, we’ll stop. For now. You’re still injured.” Sam breathed. But he snuck one more dirty kiss from Bucky which he happily gave back. 

They pulled back again breathing hard and staringly passionately at each other. Their eyes were filled to the brim with lust and love. 

“First things first, I need to shower and then you need to shower and get out of those disgusting clothes and then bed. Sound good.” Sam said, his lips brushing over Bucky’s, who pursed his lips in soft and light kisses as Sam talked. 

Sam reluctantly stepped out of Bucky’s warmth and Bucky reluctantly let go. 

“You wait here and then it’s your turn.” 

Once Sam got into the shower he turned it on the coldest setting he had and stood under there for five minutes trying to cool off his burning body. Sam hasn’t had sex in ages so his body was acting extremly sensative to Bucky’s heavy touches and dirty kisses. 

When he got out he handed Bucky a clean towel and then he went in. While he was in the shower he changed into a new pair of sweatpants and t-shirt. He also laid out another pair of clothes for Bucky to sleep in. 

Sam got into bed and waited for Bucky to come back out. 

A few minutes later the man came out all wet with a towel riding low on his lips. Sam was salivating. 

Bucky’s body was out of this world. He was hard and buff and beefy. Just looking at his upper half Sam knew he was big and thick on the bottom half. Fuck. Sam started to get hard again but willed it down. 

“Now this ain't fair. You get to see me half naked when I didn't get to see you.” Bucky said as he picked up his clothes. 

“Don’t worry. In time we’ll both be naked and hot and sticky together.”

“Fuck,” Bucky grunted, “you got a mouth on you Wilson.” 

Sam chuckled and watched as he went to get change in the bathroom. 

Sam had his eyes closed when he felt the bed dip and a warmth emitting next to him. He came face to face with clear blue eyes that were looking heatedly back at his brown ones. 

“We’re going to sleep Bucky. No funny business.” Sam said softly. 

Bucky laughed and chastly kissed Sam on the lips, “Yeah I know. I just wanted to say again that I love you. More than love really.” 

It was this moment that Sam’s heart burst into a million pieces. 

“I love you too. More than words.”

They kissed sweetly for a couple minutes and the Sam turned over and huddled himself under Bucky’s bulky arms. Sam wanted to be wrapped around Bucky, he wanted to be apart of his warmth and his body. He felt safe surrounded by Bucky and it was so easy to fall asleep next to the man that he loved and the man that loved him back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact about this chapter is that the title of this fic was originally called something else, but when I wrote the end of this chapter I thought that what they said to each other was a much better fit for the story.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam grunted and started to wiggle underneath the thin duvet. His eyes were still closed, but his brain was slowly waking up. The bed felt lighter and cooler than it usually does. He moved his arm over next to him and found the place empty and cold.  _ Bucky must’ve gotten up earlier than usual.  _

It's been a month since that fateful night. The next morning following that night they stayed in bed for over two hours just talking, Bucky explaining himself and what happened. Sam laid everything out on the table and for the most part Bucky answered them truthfully. The other part was that Sam knew that there was still more the story and he told Bucky that, but Bucky told him there are things he has to keep to himself for his safety and for Sams. So, Sam dropped it. Yeah he wanted to know the whole truth but if he jeopardizes Bucky’s life and his own he as willing to let Bucky keep stuff hidden. One day hopefully Bucky will tell him. 

Since then they have been more than two peas in a pot. They have sort of been living the domestic life. They would do a lot of house things together like, Sam would cook dinner and Bucky would do the dishes or Bucky would mop and dust and make the bed in the morning or they would go in evening strolls hand in hand, stuff like that. And Bucky even kinda moved into Sam's apartment. Most of the clothes were around Sam’s room, his toothbrush and shampoo were moved into Sam’s bathroom and obviously they sleep in the same bed together. And now that they sleep in the same bed together and are in a committed and loving relationship they started to engage in more sexual activities in the bed. And in the shower. Also in the kitchen. Plus the couch. 

But it was only handjobs, blowjobs and dirty grinding. Nothing more because Bucky wanted there first time having sex with each other to be special. Sam at the time thought it was so cute and thoughtful and he full heartedly agreed. However, two weeks went by and Sam was not having it anymore. He wanted Bucky in him and Sam was starting to get impatient. Whenever they would have a make out session he would try and tease Bucky more for him to take him or he’s try and seduce Bucky to fuck him, but nothing ever worked. All Sam wanted was to be one with Bucky. But he’s gonna have to wait. 

Sam was still laying in bed listening to pots and pans being clashed together and the mutterings of Bucky fighting with something. A smile played on his lips listening to the man in the kitchen. He then heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the bedroom and soon Bucky stood there with his disheveled hair and a coffee in hand. 

The smell of the dark roast easily perked Sam up. He sat up with heavy eyes and dopey smile on his face. 

“Here ya’ go sweetheart.” Bucky handed him the mug and watched Sam as he took a sip of the coffee. 

“Mmmm,” the taste of the bitter coffee felt wonderful on Sam’s taste buds, “thanks baby.” Sam took another sip before continuing, “what are you doing out in that kitchen?”

Bucky pulled back the covers and got next to Sam. They were both leaning against the headboard with Bucky’s arm around Sam’s shoulders. “Cleaning the dishes that I forgot to do since I was very much distracted.” He nipped Sams ear playfully. 

Sam chuckled and shivered at the same time and continued drinking his coffee. 

They sat there in comfortable silence with Sam drinking his coffee and Bucky checking his phone while he rubbed up and down Sam’s thigh.

“What's on the agenda today?” Bucky then asked. 

“Dunno. It's my last day off so maybe just chilling or maybe we could go out and do something. Up to you baby.” 

Bucky put his phone down and paid full attention to Sam, “exactly it's your day off, doll. So we can do whatever you want.”

Bucky started to leave wet kisses on Sam’s jaw as he travelled to his neck leaving trails upon trails of his kisses. 

Sam started to squirm under Bucky’s touch. He brought his hand up to the back of Bucky’s neck and pressed him further onto his skin. “Yes, Bucky,” Sam gasped as Bucky bites on Sam’s pulse. 

“Not so fast, doll. You didn’t tell me what you wanted to do today?” Bucky pulls away from Sam’s neck and looks into his eyes. 

Sam growls at the back of his throat because of Bucky's removal. “What I want is to spend all day in bed with you,” Sam gets closer to Bucky's ear and starts wetly whispering into it, “you spreadin’ me out. You opening me up, making me all wet and loose for your cock. Then for you to just push that monster in-” 

“Fuck, Sam, please, sweatheart,” Bucky pleaded with his eyes closed tightly and his hands fisting the sheet. 

“What baby, what's the matter?” Sam licks a broad stroke up his earlobe and bites it. 

“Ya know I can’t do that. Not yet, baby.” Bucky was panting now, his tongue all heavy. Whenever Bucky was blinded by lust and was all around horny he starts to slur his words and they would become a mess. It doesn't help that his accent would become much heavier as well. It becomes more pronounced, like in the stereotypical moves of a person from Brooklyn. 

“Why not?” Sam whines and pulled away. His eyes all big and mouth all pouty. 

“‘Cause, baby, it's been a long time for you and for me and I just I want it to be good n’ shit.”

Sam caressed Bucky’s jaw, “it will be good. No matter what. It doesn’t have to be special or anything. Just you and me and a bed that's all I want.” 

They started messily making out again and rubbing and grinding against each other. In no time they were leaking all over the place, especially Bucky. Sam took this opportunity to get that messy, leaking cock into his mouth. 

**….**

After their eventful time in bed and in the shower they finally made it to the living room area planning on what they had to do today. They didn't have to do much. They had to go grocery shopping, Sam had to pick up something from the dry cleaners and they wanted to stop and say hi to Nat. They made a half commitment to watch a movie together later. 

“C’mon Bucky, lets go.” Sam yelled from the front door. Bucky was still in the bathroom fixing his hair. Sam didn't understand why he always have to have it neatly parted. It looked more than fine when it’s not.  Bucky finally came out of the bathroom and Sam handed him the car keys, “are you done princess?” Sam asked with a smile on his lips 

“Hey.” Bucky lightly slapped Sam’s ass as he walked through the door. 

The two minute drive to The Grind was filled with the quiet sound of the radio and birds chirping outside all the while Bucky holding Sam's hand. They parked down the street from the coffee house and walked the rest of the way. 

“Hey! My two favorite customers.” Natalie smiled brightly. 

“Nat, good to see you.” Both Sam and Bukcy haven't seen Natalie in while. She was gone all last week due to a cold so they didn’t see her at all and the week before Sam and Bucky were too invested in each other to swing by the store. 

Sam ordered his usual drink and Bucky ordered a black coffee. As they waited for them they decided to catch up with each other. 

“Are you feeling better?” Sam asked. Sam offered many time last week if he wanted him to give her a small check up to see if everything was fine, but Natalie refused saying it nothing but a regular cold. 

“Yeah feeling much better. I told you Sam that it was a simple cold. But thanks, I’m good now.” Her eye cut quickly to Bucky and then back to Sam. 

“Anyway, how are you two lovebirds? Grant says he rarely sees you guys anymore.” 

Bucky wrapped his arm around Sam’s waist possessive and a shiver runs down Sam’s spine. “We’ve been busy.” 

“Ugh,” She faked gagged, “you guys are sickening. You guys take the whole fucking cake, beating Thor and Bruce. 

A few minutes later their coffee’s came and they said ‘Goodbye’ to Nat saying that they all have to meet up again soon. They went back to their car and made their way to the grocery store. 

….

Bucky pushed the grocery cart, following Sam’s every move. They first went to the fruits and veggies section. Sam picked up a lot of fruits for his fruit salads and his smoothies and picked a punch of plums for Bucky. They picked up the regular vegetables and went to the meat section.    


“What do you want for dinner this week baby?” Sam asked as he scanned the meat laid out. 

“Uh, whatever you want doll.” 

“C’mon, help me I can't pick six days worth of meat and fish by myself.”

Bucky huffed playfully, “alright, chicken, of course,” he looked at the meat and his widend, “oooh, steak and I dunno salmon?”

“Good choices baby,” Sam placed a chaste kiss on his lips and placed the food in the cart and picked out the rest of the food. 

Once they go the necessities done they went up and down picking out snacks and other things they can cook with dinner. What Sam soon realized living with Bucky was that he had a huge appetite. He was always eating and everything in the kitchen would be empty. It would be 2am and the bed would be empty and Bucky would be at the counter eating cereal or when it was dinner he made sure to give Bucky a much bigger portion than his. So, Sam learned to buy everything in super family size and if that was not an option to by more than one of everything. 

“Sweetheart, look,” Bucky came back to Sam with four boxes of pop tarts in his hands. He also learned that Bucky has a huge sweet tooth, despite liking his coffee dark and bitter. 

Once he dumped the food in the cart he came up behind Sam, who was looking at seasoning, and wrapped his arms around his waist and placed his chin on Sam's shoulder. 

“Hey, doll,”

Sam placed his hands over Bucky’s, “hi baby,” 

They were the only one in the aisle, which was good because Bucky was beginning to lick and kiss Sams neck. 

“You need to stop before someone walks past,” Sam said weakly. 

Bucky just hummed and continued. 

Sam tried to ignore Bucky’s advances and carried on looking at the seasonings. 

After a minute Sam picked up what he needed and squirmed out of Bucky’s arms. 

“You better stop before you start getting hard.” 

Another thing Sam has learned now that Bucky basically lives with him is that Bucky gets hard really quickly. It’s not even like half hard. It's like, steel, iron hard in seconds. They could be just simply sitting on the couch sharing a little heated kisses and Sam would feel his cock poking him. But Sam was not complaining. 

They made it through the rest of the store and ended up having their cart being overloaded with food. It took them 20 minutes at the checkout and about 10 to pack everything in the back of the car. 

The last stop was to go pick up something Sam dropped off at the dry cleaning and then they were on their way home. 

**….**

Later that night they did what they promised and watched a movie. They did watch movies a lot because Bucky seems like he doesn't pay attention to pop culture and hasn't seen many popular movies. Or Tv for that matter. He’s rewatching Game of Thrones with him currently. 

Both of their bellies were full from the mac n cheese and steak Sam cooked and apple pie and ice cream for dessert. Now they were snuggled up together on the couch with a blanket draped over them watching Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Bucky was fully invested in the movie not talking or making any moves to Sam. Sam was happy Bucky was enjoying himself. 

About an hour into the movie Sam started to doze off. His eyes started to become heavier and they just could hold themselves open. Sam was so comfortable. He was almost laying on top of Bucky and had his head on his chest. Bucky was so soft and cuddly so he had no problem getting comfortable. Plus Bucky was very warm. 

“Sam, sweetheart?” 

Sam hummed sleepily in reply. 

Bucky laughed lightly, shaking Sams head slightly. 

“You need to get to bed baby,” 

“No,” Sam whined. He snuggled up to Bucky even more. 

Bucky started to get up and lifted Sam up with him. He made it to the bedroom with and placed Sam on the bed.

Sam was still half asleep when Buky pulled off his jeans and his shirt and placed him under the covers. Bucky left the room and Sam though he was gonna go and finish the movie but a couple minutes later he felt a dip in the bed and Bucky’s warm body snuggling up behind him. 

He placed a soft kiss on Sams neck, “g’night Sam. Love you.”

Sam tried to say it back but it just came out like mumbo jumbo. But Bucky got the message as he laughed softly and pressed his face into Sams neck and they both drifted off to sleep. 

**….**

They have been busy. 

It's been a full week and both Sam and Bucky have been non stop busy with work and their daily lives. 

As usual, Sam has been busy with work. Yes, he is still just working on workdays, but one of co-workers, Linda, went on mat leave so Sam took up one of night shifts. So, from 9 to 6 Sam is busy at the hospital. As soon as he comes home Sam is beat. Most of the time he just orders take out because he is just too tired to cook a proper homemade meal. Then as soon as 10 o clock hits Sam is in bed passed out. Sometimes he tries to wait up for Bucky, but Bucky comes back too late. Sometimes he would feel Bucky sneak up behind him in bed and wrap his arm around his body. 

Bucky was also equally busy. He wouldn't tell Sam too much detail but says that they are close on capturing the person that they need. In result of that Bucky has been working overtime. Sam rarely sees him a home any more. They would see each other in passing quickly before they leave for work sometimes but that was it. Bucky would leave for work early and come back late. The days that he does see Bucky for more than a couple minutes he’s asleep or he’s very drowsy and sleepy. They both seem to never get their schedule right. Even on the weekends. 

The weekend is the only days that Sam can get home stuff done like, cleaning and grocery shopping and fixing the lightbulb in the bedroom. Sam does the next two week domestic stuff alone because Bucky is out with Grant for their work or he’s at home on his tablet reading something for work. One Saturday Bucky had to leave for work and came back on Sunday all bruised again. Thankfully no stab or bullet wounds. 

Sam missed Bucky. He missed his closeness. Bucky would give him a quick peck or a short hug but that was it. He didn’t have time to bask in his heat like he usually did. He missed running his hand in his short hair. Sam even missed his prickly mustache all over his body. Sam just wanted to spend time with his man. But Sam knows how important Bucky’s work is. He’s even asked when he could get a day off and Bucky just shrugged but he said ‘Soon this will be all over and it will be the two of us.’ Sam was holding him to that.

“Saturday I’m taking you out.” Bucky said as he was lounging in bed watching Sam dress. He just woke up and his voice was all rough and groggy. 

“Oh, is that so?” Sam said as he put on his boxer briefs. 

“Yeah, doll. I been so fucking busy the last two weeks and I feel like I’ve been ignoring you a bit.” 

Sam hummed in agreement.

“It's settled. Saturday we are dedicating that day to us. Me and you doll.” 

Sam came around all dressed in his scrubs, “I like the sound of that.” Sam soundly kissed Bucky for a couple seconds before he pulled away before things go too far. “Quit it, I got work.” 

Bucky got out of bed, “I’ll drive you.” 

“You don’t have to, baby.” 

“Nah, I wanna do it.” 

Bucky quickly out on some clothes and followed Sam out the door. 

**….**

The week finished quickly and soon it was Saturday. Bucky didn’t tell Sam where they were going for their date all he said is ‘It's a fancy ass place’

Bucky was standing by the door waiting for Sam to finish getting ready. 

“Alright let’s go.” Sam heads was down as he was fixing his button and was completely missing the lustful gaze Bucky was giving him. 

“We should just stay home so I can fuck you.” Bucky growled. 

“Hold your horses big guy. You promised me dinner and that's what I’m gonna get.” 

They arrive at the place at 8:30. When Bucky said it was fancy he wasn't playing. It was right in the middle of Manhattan. So the drive was already was super long. Now Sam was in the rich side of Manhattan at a fancy ass restaurant. 

When they walked it was all types burgundy and brown. It had a warm but expensive. Sam could just feel the money rolling off on this place. The place was filled with crystal chandeliers that were all dimmed to give a nice mood to the atmosphere. There was a nicely sized dining room and a nice U shaped bar. This is what you get for fine dining. Sam wouldn't be surprised if he ran into a celebrity. 

“Table for two.” Bucky’s voice brought him out of his thoughts and they were led to a nice table in a nice area of the restaurant near a bay window. 

“Buck, baby. This place…” Sam didn't even have the words to describe how he was feeling.

Bucky reached over the table for Sam’s hand, “Sweetheart, don’t worry about it. You just enjoy yourself.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand. 

And that's what Sam planned to do. 

**….**

Dinner was fucking delicious. Sam has never had a better meal cooked for him (besides his Mama's cooking). First, Bucky ordered this rich tasting wine that went well with the beautifully seared steak that they both ordered. They for desserts they decided on a chocolate creme brulee, which made Sam salvate a lot. Not to mention the portions were ridiculous. Obviously, Sam ate all of it, not wanting to waste one bit. For Bucky eating all of it wasn't a problem given his very large appetite. 

Once they had their fill with everything and finished their second bottle of wine Bucky asked for the bill and refused Sam to even look at how much it was. But Sam didn't protest or fight or argue to see it. Sam had a pleasant buzz running through him due to the heavy wine. 

Now Sam was in the car with heavy lustful eyes looking at Bucky holding his hands over the middle console.

“I love you.” 

Bucky took his eyes off the road for one second and Sam could see Bucky’s eyes mirrored Sams except Bucky’s eyes looked hungry for something that isn't food. 

“I love you too, doll.” 

The whole ride home Sam was just looking at Bucky. The wine had made Sam feel more hornier than he ever was. He would stoke Bucky’s thigh and get a bit too close to his groin or he would caress his bicep and feel how the huge muscle would move as he was steering. Sam would have kissed his, but Sam knew that was a bit too dangerous. And Sam could see all the touching had a desirable effect. Bucky there was a very obvious bulge in his dress pants. Sam bit his lip at the sight of his hard cock. 

Bucky looked over at Sam and his eyes were so heated that Sam thought that he was on fire. 

“I can’t wait to get home.” Bucky said. His voice was low and seductive and Sam was now half way hard. 

**….**

The door banged open and Bucky and Sam went into the apartment like a whirlwind. It was just flying limbs and flying clothes. Once the door closed Bucky pressed Sam against it and continued making out with Sam hard. His tongue was unrelenting in Sam's mouth. It was like a fight to show who wanted it more. All tongue, teeth and saliva. 

“Bucky,” Sam whimpered. He tugged on Bucky’s button down wanting it off. 

Bucky just grunted and sucked marks on Sams neck. “Fuck, Bucky,” Sam moaned. He tugged on Bucky’s shirt again, “take this off. Now.”

“Whatever you want, sweetheart.” Bucky pulled away to take off the offending shirt and Sam just stood there mesmerized. 

Once off Sam mouth was full of saliva and his tongue was heavy over the burly chest in front of him. Sam was getting harder just looking at it. When Sam eyes traveled back up to Bucky his whole posture seemed hesitant and unsure. 

Sam brought his hand up to his jaw, “what's the matter?”

Bucky’s eyes travelled to his mangled shoulder. 

_ No. I’m not gonna let him get himself upset over this.  _

Sam grabbed Bucky’s hand and dragged him to the bedroom. Once there he pushed Bucky on the bed and watched him bounce.. He then followed Bucky and straddled his hips. 

“I don’t care,” Sam started. He put his hand on the core part of the shoulder where the skin is disturbed, “I don’t care about how your arm looks. I don’t care that you have this mechanical arm. Bucky, I don’t care and I don’t mind. You may not love this part of your body, but I do. You may not ever love this part of your body, but I will for you. To me this shows are story of who you were before and how far you have come and how much you have changed because of it. For the better. I’m not scared of it. It doesn't frighten me. It doesn't disgust me. If anything it makes me love you more when I look at it. I love this part of you body and I love you and nothing is going to change that, alright.” Sam leaned down to give Bucky a kiss, “and don’t try to hide it from me or be ashamed of it in front of me. I accept it wide arms open.” He said against his lips. 

A small tear fell from Bucky’s eyes, “I don’t know how I got so lucky for having you be with me and love me the way you do.” 

This time their kiss was soft and filled with love and passion. Their tongues stroked each other lovingly and their hands roamed every inch of their lovers body. 

Sam sat up on Bucky’s hips and slowly took off his shirt, while maintaining eye contact with Bucky. Those steel blue eyes that Sam loves were not a small thin line, his eyes were full blown with lust. 

“I. Want. you. In. Me” Sam punctuated each word with a hard grind on Bucky’s cock. 

Bucky gripped his hip to stop Sams movement. “Fuck, doll. I’m gonna blow one if you keep doin’ that.” 

Sam whined, “well then get on with it. Open me up. Prep me. Anything.”

Bucky didn't say anything more. He placed his hands on Sams shoulders and touched all around. The feeling of Bucky’s rough hands did nasty things to Sam. He didn't ever want them to leave his body. He closed his eyes and relished in Bucky’s touch. 

“Ah!” He yelped. 

Sam opened his eyes and looked down at Bucky who had a smug smirk on his lips as he pinched and circled his nipples. 

Bucky continued pleasuring Sam’s nipple as they both heartedly stared in each others eyes. Sam once again started to slowly move his ass over the hardness underneath him. Bucky stopped his movement, “if you keep fucking moving like that, I aint gonna get in ‘ya tonight.” 

Sam moaned and nodded his head. 

Bucky’s hand slowly moved down his stomach to the belt and he started undoing them. 

“Yes, Bucky,” Sam moaned again. 

Bucky grunted and carefully pushed Sam off his body so he can sit on his heels between Sams legs. Once Sams belt was free Bucky wasted no time pulling both his pants and underwear in one go. Sam was then laying fully naked on the bed shaking from Bucky’s simple touches. 

Bucky didn't do anything at first, he just stared and started. It was a full minute of Bucky looking at Sam's body before he said something 

“Fuck, baby. Fuckin’ hell. You are so fucking gorgeous,” Bucky’s hands started to wonder again, “look at you. I knew you were beautiful, but damn sweetheart.” Bucky sounded like he was out of breath, panting his words. 

Sam sat up and tugged on Bucky’s belt, “I wanna see you too.” 

Bucky jumped off the bed and shucked the rest of his clothing off and was standing there in his naked glory. 

_ Fuck me. Literally.  _

Bucky was magnificent. Every single part of his body was pure muscle. He had broad shoulders that looked perfect to hold onto and scratch, his toned abs already covered his a light sweat. Then Sam's eyes traveled to a thatch of dark hair, his eyes then followed a large, thick, meaty cock that was just flowing out precome. It was all wet and shiny and slick. If Sam stared at it any longer he was pretty sure he would come. So he averted his eyes to his strong thick thighs. On top of it, even though he was burly there was something about Bucky that was also very beefy. Bucky was stunning. 

“Bucky,” Sam gasped. Sam got up on his knees and made his way to where Bucky was standing and whsipered hotly in his ear, “you are so fucking sexy. If I look at you any more I might come.” 

Bucky growled and pushed Sam back on the bed and started feasting his neck while Sam rutted up onto Bucky’s thigh. Bucky cock was furiously leaking onto both of them and if it Bucky’s cock was still hard he would've thought he had came. 

“Fuck, doll, I wanna fuck you so hard.” He groaned as he pushed his cock down harder on Sams thigh. 

Sam panted, “then do it. Fuck me so hard that I can’t walk tomorrow.” 

Sam rolled over and opened his bedside drawer and tossed the lube over his shoulder to Bucky. He got back in place and spread his legs as wide as he could and smirked at Bucky, “go on then.” 

Bucky moaned at the sight of Sam’s hole waiting to be filled. He popped open the lube bottle and squirted a reasonable amount of lube on his fingers. 

Bucky started to breath heavier and heavier as the seconds went by, “now, sweetheart, I ain’t gonna fuck you until you nice n ready for me, okay?” Bucky’s Brooklyn accent was getting thicker and richer and that alone could once again make Sam come. 

Sam yelped when he felt a cold finger at his entrance. Bucky started to rub over it making it more pliable for him to enter. Once Sam’s muscles had relaxed his hand slipped in ll the way to his knuckles. 

“Oh fuck! Bucky,” Sam moaned loudly. 

All Sam could feel was Bucky’s finger move shallowly in and out of his body. It felt so fucking good. Bucky’s fingers were thick and long which made Sam already feel full. 

“More, more, more, please,” Sam begged. He already started grinding down on Bucky’s one finger. 

“Fuck, Sam,” Sam could see Bucky grinding his own hips own on the matress. “Yes,” Sam hissed. Another finger joined the first. 

“You like that doll?” Bucky panted, “you like my fingers filling you up? Tell me, tell Bucky,”

Sam screamed when Bucky’s fingers twisted and found his prostate. Sam saw twinkly stars behind his eyes. Bucky kept prodding that little nerve in Sam’s body unrelentlessly. Which caused Sam to be a withering mess on the bed. His whole body was shaking and tingling. 

“Fuck, baby, looking at you like this makes me wanna come.” Bucky groaned. He leaned down and bit Sam’s thigh. 

“C’mon, Bucky I’m ready. Get in me.” 

Bucky came and leaned next to Sam with his fingers still inside the man. He licked Sam’s lips messily, making them slick with saliva. “Not yet doll.” Bucky then pulled out the two fingers from Sam’s hole. 

“Bucky,” Sam whined. The loss of the fingers made Sam feel very empty. He could feel his hole clenching nothing, wishing Bucky’s fingers were back in there. 

“Hold on baby,” he lubed up his fingers again and slowly put in three fingers. Stretching Sam to capacity. 

“Oh, fuck, Bucky,” Sam bucked his hip off the bed when all three fingers curled against his prostate. And Bucky didn't let up. He kept messaging the bundle of nerves until Sam thought he was gonna die. He couldn't get a full breath in his lungs. His legs were shaking and he was soaked in sweat. 

“Stop, stop, imma come.” Sam grabbed Bucky’s wrist and tried to pull them out. 

Once Bucky’s fingers were out he laid there to catch his breath and listen to his heart rate slow down. 

“You okay, doll?” Bucky’s husky voice filled the empty room. 

He turned to the man and gave him an accusing glare, “you tortured me with those fingers,” Sam brought the sticky fingers in question and kissed them, “I thought I was gonna explode,”

Bucky hummed and started rutting against Sam’s hip spreading his precome around. 

Sam sensually kissed Bucky’s lips. “I think it’s time for you to fuck you.”

“I'm gonna make you feel sorry for what you just did to me,” Sam said playfully as Bucky laid flat on his back. 

“Do your worst.”

Sam smirked and leveled himself with the big cock in front of him. Bucky was a mess. All of his lower stomach and groin was covered in precome. And there was some that was in his pubic hair. 

“Fuck, Bucky you leak a lot,” Sam moaned as he saw another stream of precome leak out. 

Bucky face was red from arousal, but could see he was flushed even more from embarrassment. 

“I love it.” Sam reassured him and to show he licked the bulbous head of his cock tasting the salty precome burst onto his taste buds. 

“Fuck, dammit,” Bucky’s hip bucked from Sam’s tongue. 

Sam smirked and wrapped his plump lips around the whole head. He sucked on it lightly while he brought his hand up to stroke the rest of his cock. It was all slippery from precome , it was like Sam lubed up his hand. 

Bucky was atop him growling and moaning and lifting his hips to buck in Sam's mouth and tongue. 

Sam then removed his hand and lowered his mouth all the way until he could feel Bucky at the back of his throat. There was still a couple inches Sam couldn't get into his mouth, but he didn’t try to shove in his mouth, scared he was going to choke. He didn’t prepare himself to deepthroat tonight. He pressed his tongue on the underside of his cock, feeling the thick vein that have much pleasure. 

“Oh, fuck, doll, don’t hurt yourself.” Bucky was gripping the bed sheet so hard that Sam heard the whirring of his hand for the first time tonight, but probably not the last. 

Sam bobbed his head up and down for a couple minutes relishing in the sounds the Bucky was emitting. Bucky’s body was tight as a string bow and it looked like he was going to explode any minute. Sam pulled back and licked around the angry red head. 

“Sam, fuck, you look so fucking beautiful,” Bucky brough his hand up to touch the side of his face lovingly. 

Sam smiled around the huge cock and went back down on it. He took another minue or so slobering on the cock and hearing Bucky growl and groan and the words ‘fuck’ and ‘beautiful’ and ‘gorgeous.’

Sam pulled back and wiped the spit and precome from his mouth and chin. Bucky was staring at him dazedly, eyes filled with pure and utter lust. Sam lubed up his hand and went to coating Bucky’s already slick and wet cock. He took his time feeling it up.  _ Fuck he’s huge. Mhmmm. Im gonna get wrecked.  _ When Sam was finished Bucky was dripping. His body was also dripping with sweat and his abs were shaking and jumping from holding in his orgasm. 

Bucky came up and gave Sam a wet slobbery kiss. All tongue and saliva. They were both so out of it that Sam didn’t care. Bucky pushed Sam down on the mattress and placed himself between Sam’s legs. 

“I love you.” Bucky murmured. 

“I love you, too” Sam said breathily. 

Bucky grabbed Sams legs and placed them over his shoulder, bending Sam in half. “Are you ready baby?” Sam nodded wildly. 

Sam gasped loudly as he felt Bucky stretch him even further than his fingers. “Fuck, Bucky.” Sam moaned. 

Bucky went in inch by inch very slowly all the while staring into Sam’s soul. It was a very intimate moment. Bucky was finally entering Sam’s body, they were becoming one with each other. It was special. 

When Bucky finally bottomed out they both moaned at the feeling. Bucky filled Sam right up and more. While Sam was so tight for Bucky that he was in heaven. 

“Doll, you're so fuckin tight, fuck!” Bucky groaned. 

Sam started to shift his hips wanting more. “Oh, yeah, baby, take it.” Bucky whispered. 

He watched Sam grind and wither on his cock in awe. Bucky then pulled out until the head was the only thing remaining in Sam then slammed down back into Sam. 

“Oh fuck!” Sam screamed. 

Bucky continued snapping his hips back into Sam’s, pounding him with all the life he had. The room was filled with the bed creaking and moaning underneath them, the slapping sound of skin, wet squelching noise and Sam's loud moans and screams and Bucky growling and groaning and moaning. They were a mess. 

Bucky slowed down for a minute and kissed Sam lovingly, “I love you,” he murmured again. It's like he doesn't want Sam to forget it. 

Sam moaned, “fuck me harder” he gripped Bucky’s hips and tried to move them faster. 

Bucky chuckled thickly and continued the fast pace slamming. Bucky’s cock was slamming right into his prostate, abusing the poor thing. Sam felt his orgasm coming. He feels so all over the place that he thinks that he may come untouched. Bucky placed his head near Sams neck and started biting and nipping the area. “You gonna come baby? I want you to come.” Bucky’s voice was thick and gravelly. Sam was this close to coming. “Tell me. Are you gonna come for me.” Sam felt tears running out of his eyes, “yes, Bucky, imma come for you.” Bucky growled animalisticly at that and started to fuck Sam with a new vigor. And then Sam felt it. He was coming. All you could hear from that point was Sam’s hoarse cries and screams. “Yeah, sweetheart, come for me.” Sam felt like he passed out. He felt his come splatter in his chest, but he didn't see it. He was like a ragdoll, all his limbs were jello. 

The last thing he remembered was Bucky crying above him and hot liquid spurting into him for a good 30 seconds and leaking out of his abused hole and then Sam was out. 

**….**

“Welcome back, sweetheart.” 

Bucky was the first thing he saw when he blearily opened his eyes. It took Sam a second to collect his bearings and remember what happened. 

“Did I-- Did I faint?” 

Bucky chuckled as he touched Sam’s cheek, “yeah you did,” Bucky checked the time quickly, “you’ve been out for about 4 minutes.” 

Sam now remembered that Bucky gave him best orgasm he’s had in his life. Then Sam finally felt stickiness between his thighs and his ass cheeks. Not to mention down there is sore. But a good sore. A sore that Sam wouldn't mind feeling everyday. 

Sam got up slowly, wincing slightly, “you outdid yourself baby.” He pecked Bucky on his lips softly. “That was amazing.”

Bucky returned the kiss again, “not gonna lie, you kinda scared me when you passed out, but thank you. It was all you that made me like that.” He started nuzzling Sam’s neck. “Fuck, Sam, you made me come so fucking hard, doll.” 

Sam hummed and ran his hands through Bucky’s damp hair. 

They laid there for few minutes enjoying their afterglow. They were sticky, sweaty and probably smelt like sex but Sam didn’t wanna move. 

“Wanna shower?” Bucky mumbled. 

“Nah, I wanna stay right here and sleep.” 

Bucky gently arranged themselves so Sam’s chest was pressed against his chest and he could swing one leg over Sams. Fully entangled with each other. 

“I love you.” Whispered Sam

“I love you too.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter and the smut hahaha! Im warning y'all there may or may not be angst in the next one. 
> 
> Anyways, I always forget to put this but follow me on my Tumblr and come and say hi @itsjustwinterfalcon


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the angst. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and follow me on Tumblr at @itsjustwinterfalcon

They were snuggling on the couch watching Sam's favourite show,  _ The Great British Bake Off  _ when Bucky said something.

“I wanna take you to the museum this tomorrow.” 

After their dinner date two weeks ago Bucky has made it his personal plan to always take Sam out on dates or have a day just for them to spend together. The dates were nothing as fancy as the one at the restaurant-- as Sam insisted that he doesn't need expensive dates-- so they would go to little cafes or restaurants or go to swanky bars or sometimes just go on a stroll. It was a nice way for them to be together after being occupied from each other during the week. 

Sam rubbed up and down Bucky’s ribs, “I’ve never been on a museum date.” 

“I wanna show you something.” Something sounded off in Bucky’s voice. Nothing startling, but something different. 

Sam looked up at him, “Is everything good baby?” He asked. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine, just wanna take you somewhere.” He smiled down at Sam with twinkling eyes. 

Sam leaned up and softly kissed Bucky. It was supposed to be an innocent kiss that would just lead to more cuddling, but Bucky of course, turned it dirty and wet. It was his types of kisses that made Sam’s toes curl like a good orgasm. Sam could already feel Bucky’s hard cock pressing on his hips. Sam started wiggling on the couch to give some friction but Bucky just grasped on to his hips and heaved Sam off the couch and into his arms. 

“Woah,” Sam gasped. 

Sam has never been carried at his age or his weight. However, Bucky doesn't even seem like he’s breaking a sweat. He picked Sam up like it was nothing. 

Sam started leaving purple and red bruises on his neck and collarbone that kept disappearing after a short period of time. 

Sam knew as soon as he felt Bucky growling in his ear and kneading his ass he knew that he was in for a night. 

**…..**

Sam opened his eyes blearily, they were unfocused and blurry, but one thing he did see was a face looming over his. He blinked a couple more times and saw Bucky staring at him with awe in his eyes. 

“Were you watchin’ me sleep?” Sam grumbled, rubbing his eyes. 

Bucky leaned in and kissed Sam’s jaw, “so what if I was?”

“Thats creepy.” 

Bucky hummed but continued his sweet soft kisses down Sams neck. 

From the way everything was going and the fact that he can feel Bucky’s hard bare cock against his hip, he had a feeling they were gonna have sleepy morning sex. Sam loves morning sex, especially the way Bucky does it. He becomes more sentimental than usual, he’s all soft and caring, all he does is whisper sweet endearments in his ear and its just sleepy and messy and a bit sloppy but filled with so much love. Sam usually has a powerful and intimate orgasm when they have morning sex. So, Sam immediately feels himself harden. 

Bucky places himself between the V of Sams legs and goes straight to Sams puckered hole which is still stretched and slightly wet from last night. Bucky fumbled for the lube on the floor where Sam tossed it last night and covered his fingers. He placed his finger softly on his hole and it immediately engulfed Bucky’s finger in Sam’s warmth. It was still loose from the previous night.

“Mhmmm,” Bucky hummed approvingly. 

They were both still sleepy from sleep so everything was slow pace and uncoordinated.

Bucky slipped in two other finger and started stretching Sam out even more. Sam whined low in the lack of his throat and wiggled down on Bucky;s fingers trying to make him catch that special little nerve. “Patience.” Bucky said, his voice gravelly from sleep. Sam whined again and swiveled his hips down on the fingers again. Bucky having a soft heart in the morning crook his fingers and found Sams prostate. Sam moaned loudly and gripped Bucky’s short hair. Bucky started nudging the nerve making Sam go wild on the bed. , “Nghhh, fuck!” Sam sobbed. His head was thrashing about, his fingers where tightening in Bucky’s hair and he was circling his hips like mad. 

“Now, Bucky. I want you now.” 

Bucky slowly slipped his fingers out and just looked at the stretched hole like it was a work of art. Bucky was mesmerized at the hole winking at him, looking for something to fill it, or something for it to grasp. 

Sam pulled on Bucky’s hair softly and whined. 

Bucky made his way up to Sam and licked his way into Sam’s mouth. Both of them tasted like sleep but they didn't care. 

“Ride me.” Bucky said against Sams lips. 

Sam’s eyes lit up and they both clumsily got into the right positions on the bed. Sam quickly and sloppily covered Bucky in lube. Bucky was laying on his back with his hands on Sam’s hips, while Sam was positions over Bucky’s angry cock. Sam closed his eyes and slowly slid down on his cock, feeling the way it was filling him in this position. He felt Bucky’s hands tighten on his hips and saw his abdomen was tense. Sam finally bottomed out and they both let out a moan at the feeling. 

“Nghh, will you always be this tight, baby?” 

Sam just moaned and lifted his hips until Bucky’s head was the only thing in his body, then he gently slid the rest of him back into him. “Fuck.” Bucky murmured. He pulled Sam down so they were chest to chest and Sam's cock was trapped between the two bodies. Sam continued sliding up and down Bucky’s cock. They were breathing into each others mouths, occasionally sticking each others tongue for a lick. 

The room was filled with soft moans and grunts and the bed softly squeaking. Bucky hands wandered to Sams ass and kneaded it lovingly. “You are such an ass man.” Sam whispered. Bucky kissed Sam messily and slowly. He then started to thrust up into Sam gently, angling his hips so it would hit right against Sam’s prostate. Sam pulled away from his lips and let out a small cry and started meeting Bucky’s thrusts. They were both sweating from the close proximity of each other. “C’mon doll, you look so fucking beautiful like this. I can’t believe your all mine. I want you to come for me baby.” Bucky started blabbering with heavy eyes. 

Sam whined and tucked his head in Bucky’s neck and nibbled on the skin their. His cock was gonna explode between their two bodies. It was being squeezed so nicely. “Please, Bucky,” Sam whined again. 

Bucky started to thrust up into Sam a bit faster but still soft and gentle, still hitting that nerve, just something to get Sam off. “Yeah, baby, fucking come for me. I wanna see it, I wanna feel it. You got this sweetheart.” Sam whimpered and came at the sound of Bucky’s strong Brooklyn accent that became richer during sex. It was like his orgasm was prolonged he just felt it spurting and spurting on both of their stomachs. “Fuck, Bucky,” Sam panted in his neck. Sam was still thrusting down for Bucky to come in him. “It's your turn baby, fill me up. I wanna feel your come in me.” That's all that Sam had to whisper for Bucky to blow his top and fill Sam to the brim and more having his come spill out of Sam’s hole and trickled down his thighs. The man was groaning mixed with sobbing as he sucked on Sam’s lobe. 

Sam collapsed on Bucky ignoring the cooling come on their stomachs. “Mhmm, that was so good.” Sam murmured. 

Bucky hummed in agreement, his hand rubbing up and down Sam’s sweaty back. 

After a few minutes of them laying their mess Sam kissed Bucky’s mangled shoulder and hoisted himself up and off the bed. His legs were wobbling a bit but he could manage. 

“We better get up if we wanna go to the museum.” He said as he grabbed his towel. 

Bucky didn't get up from the bed, he was just laying there admiring Sam’s ass and his come that was trickling down his leg. 

“Lets go, Bucky.” Sam said from bathroom. 

Sam got himself off the bed and followed Sam. 

They spent another hour in the shower with Sam giving Bucky a thorough blow-jon and Bucky rimming Sam. 

**….**

Sam and Bucky were standing outside the New-York Historical Society. It was a gloomy day, grey clouds covering the sky. It was a typical late spring day, it was warm enough for a light jacket but still a bit bit cold for a jacket. 

The place was huge and spacious once they stepped inside. The white walls and bright lights made the museum look a lot larger than what it really was. Obviously, there were many pictures, displays, books and exhibitions going on. They also had some interactive pieces for the public. There was also a good number of people in a history museum, and not just the elderly, but young adults, parents with their kids and a few teenagers. 

“This place is really nice Bucky.” Sam said as they walked through the lobby area. 

They walked around for a good 40 minutes looking at all the displays and photos. As they admired what the museum had to offer Bucky stopped and talked about the history of some of the artwork. It surprised Sam that he knew so much knowledge on some of the pieces. How he talked about them and explained the picture, it was like he saw for himself, like he was really there. Bucky gave Sam some really insightful history lessons.

Sam smiled, “How do know so much about this stuff? Like, I know the bare minimum, but you, you know it like you could write a whole book about it.” He gently squeezed Bucky’s hand, totally enamoured by the man. 

Bucky shrugged, “M’ good at history, I guess,” he replied weakly. 

“You alright, baby”

“Mhm.” Bucky nodded but Sam was not convinced. 

Bucky looked and felt tense. He looked uncomfortable, uneasy and nervous. And Sam could just tell by holding his hand that he his body was tight as a bow. Plus, when he wasn't talking to Sam telling sam more extensive history he was quiet, more quiet than he usually is. What really had Sam scared was the slight shake in his hand and how clammy and sweaty it became. 

Sam stopped and looked at Bucky, “Bucky, you’re not okay. Whats wrong?”

Sam saw Bucky’s adams apple bob in his throat a couple of times before he said something, “Sam, I-I need to tell you the truth.”

Sam felt his heart rate picked up, a fast staccato beat, “what is it?”

Bucky opened and closed his mouth several times like a fish before he led Sam to a closed exhibition room. The lights were off, bit only because there was a short video playing. There were pictures and displays on the wall.

Sam was confused,  _ why did he bring me here? What's so important about this room? Is it because it a closed off room?  _

“I don’t get it.” 

Bucky sighed shakily, “just watch.” 

Sam stared at Bucky for a few seconds but the man looked straight ahead, his eyes empty and just a void of nothingness. It made Sam feel a cold shiver down his spine. 

His eyes averted to the movie playing on the screen. At first Sam didn't know what was going on. He knew it was a war video, probably from WWII and it was showing soldiers, fighting and celebrations. The more he watched it the more he knew what it was. The Howling Commandos and their leader, Captain America. Sam learned about them throughout school. They were in all the history books and were mentioned at least once in his history lessons in middle school and high school. They were known as America's greatest treasure, especially Captain America. Sam didn't remember them unless he had to. He had basic knowledge of the unit, but never felt the need to know the information or them on the top of his head. Sam was too busy with biology, math and chemistry. Sam still didn't know what the point of this was but continued watching. Sam could feel Bucky stand there as stiff as a board, when they first came into the room Bucky dropped his hand and was now detached from Bucky. 

Sam watched and watched and watched….

Then his heart fell to the pit of his stomach. His heart race slowed and became shallow. His breath mirrored his heart. Sam was paralyzed at what he's watching. His throat was closing up and he was shaking. “Bucky,” he whispered as he saw the same man he was standing beside on the video from the 1940s. He saw Bucky-- No, he saw a man that looked like Bucky all clean shaven and slightly skinnier. That wasn't his Bucky. It couldn't be. Its not.  _ What the fuck.  _ Sam didn't have any thoughts except that one. That was the only thing occupying his brain. He couldn't think, he couldn't move and he could breathe. 

He could wrap his head around what he was seeing. Bucky’s doppelganger was snipe shooting, then in the next shot he was grinning, his arms around his other comrades. He looked young. Happy.

Sam needed a seat, he needed to sit. His whole world was spinning and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to stop it from falling. His reality was crumbling. It seemed like his reality was virtuality, like it was not real. He felt sick. And he felt numb. He still couldn't wrap his head around what he saw. Sam has seen the short video three full times and he was still unable to think clearly. Sam walked away from where he was standing and started looking at the pictures that were on the wall. He looked at a photo of the Howling Commandos all smiling, then he past it and saw a single photo of… the snipe shooter. He looked at the photo for several minutes trying to wrap his head around it. The man looked exactly like Bucky. Everything was the same. It looked like his lover. Sam’s eyes wandered to the bottom of the picture and saw  _ Bucky Barnes - Sniper.  _ He looked at the name until his vision blurred and he was shaking uncontrollably. 

He felt Bucky behind him and he slowly turned to look at the man-- the man that looked exactly like the sniper. 

“What is this?” He whispered, his voice cracking though every word. 

Bucky’s eyes were red and glassy. 

“It’s me.” Was all he said. His voice was emotionless. 

“What do you mean Bucky! Who is this? What is this?” Sam sobbed.

“Sam,” his voice finally cracked and was filled with sorrow, “please, listen.”

Sam stood there waiting for Bucky to continue while seeing the agony in his face. 

“Sam this is me, believe me. Fuck,” Bucky ran a hand through his hair and shakily sighed, “this is gonna be so fucking hard to explain, but I wanna explain it to you, I wanna tell you Sam…. This is me in 1944. I know this sounds fucking crazy and impossible, but please bare with me, please…. I was apart of the Howling Commandos, obviously as you can see, I was the snipe shooter of the team. And as you know we worked alongside Captain America, who is Steve Rogers,” Bucky glanced at Sam quickly before continuing, “Steve Grant Rogers. Sam, Grant, the Grant we know is Steve Rogers who is Captain America who everyone knows and loves.” 

Sam felt like his brain was rewiring itself multiple times trying to get everything to make sense. His body felt weak and his lungs were struggling for air.  _ This all doesnt make fucking sense! _ The Grant that he knows is Steve, Captain America who is a hero to New York. Sam looked at Bucky and made a gesture for him to continue. Sam just wanted all the information upfront and right now. 

“I’ve known Steve since then and way before that. We were childhood friends and something happened to him… and yeah he ended up being Captain America helping us or us helping him. Fuck, Sam, the point is thats me in the picture all the way from the 40s, thats Grant- Steve.” 

“This still doesn't make sense, Bucky!” Sam voice shakes and quivers. 

“I know, I know there's a bit more,” Bucky’s body went tense and rigid. The way he was standing, the look on his face, the expression in his eyes reminded Sam of that time he showed Sam his arm for the first time. The pain and anger shown throughout his body. “During one of our missions in 1945 our target was on a train and,” Bucky choked on his words and Sam heard the angry whirring of his arm, “the conditions were bad. It was snowing and icy and fuck, shit,” Bucky turned around and took a moment to compose himself, not wanting Sam to see himself this way. Sam took slow steps and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder making the man turn around and look at his with watery eyes, “I fell, Sam. I fell off that train. I thought I was dead, I should’ve been dead. That fall… I should’ve died that day,” tears started streaming down Sams cheeks. The thought of the man he loves dead made Sam’s heart sink, made his throat constrict. “But I didn't. I was taken by our enemy. They put his fucking arm on me,” Bucky’s voice started to raise and Sam saw rage in his eyes. He’s never seen this look on Bucky’s face before. It was deadly rage. A rage that would scare other people. “They put some serum shit in me, I was fucking tortured, I was not in my own mind, Sam. They put this arm on me and made me do evil stuff with it, Sam, heinous stuff. I’ve killed so many people with this arm. They brainwashed me and made me into a fucking murderer. A fucking killer that had no remorse, had no fucking feelings. This arm was put on me to kill and torture people….” 

Silene tears were still flowing out of Sam's eyes freely. He didn't know what to do. The man he loved was from the early 1910’s, the man he loved was in WWII, the man he loved was used to monstrous crimes against his own will. Yet, Sam still undeniably loved him the same, but he still can’t wrap his head around it, his brain still can’t fully understand it. 

“I brought you here to show you this because I want you to know the real me. The things that I have told you before have been watered down versions of things, there were somethings that I had to keep from you, but I can’t keep you in the dark about myself. I needed you to know the real me. For Christ sake, I didn't even tell you my full name, scared that you would search me up and find the truth. I’m not supposed to tell you any of this or show you this stuff, but I couldn't keep it any longer. I can’t keep hiding from you. I fucking love you Sam. The one thing that makes me happy that I was saved from that fall was being able to meet you and for you to love me. Even though it took a fucking long time, that is the only thing that makes me happy to still be alive.”

Sam walked over and wrapped his arms around Bucky, he felt Bucky bury his face in Sams neck. “Bucky, don’t say things like that. There are others things that I know you are happy to live for. Like, Gra-Steve, Natalie, Clint. You stayed for them, you got better for them.” 

He held the weight of Bucky as he held Sam tightly as if he is going to walk away and leave him here in this exhibition. 

“Yeah, but you Sam, you make me wanna live. Steve has Sharon and Nat has Clint, I had no one before you. I was fucking lonley just trying to get by day by day. But with you Sam you make me want to get up in the morning and live my life, live it with you.” 

The tears started to make its way down Sam’s face once again , but this time they were happy ones. 

After a couple more minutes of them just holding each other Sam pulled away. 

“So how old are you then?”

Bucky tucked his head and a slight flush appeared on his face and neck. 

“102”

Sam's eyes bulged out of their sockets, “102! You are fucking old, man!” 

“Hey,” Bucky frowned and his lips pouted. 

“But I still fucking love you,” Sam grasped Bucky's face in his hands, “Bucky, I still love you. I will always love you no matter what. Yeah, this a shit ton of information you dumped on me and I will need time to process it and understand all of it. Because I still can’t really get my head around all the facts. But don’t ever think that I don’t love you any less than I did before.”

Sam felt water hit his hand that he knows is tears coming from Bucky. He gave Bucky a small peck on the lips and pulled him in for a hug. 

“I still need to tell you about what I truly do.” Bucky muttered on Sam’s shoulder. 

Sam chuckled, “when we get home.” 

…..

They both left the museum puffy faced, red eyed, and out of energy and full of exhaustion. 

Sam was feeling a whole lot of different emotions. He was happy, furious, mournful, relieved, confused, annoyed and a little bit betrayed, but the feeling of Bucky’s love for him to tell the hard and complicated truth to him over trumps everything. As he said to Bucky it will take him a while to fully grasp everything, but he will and they could move forward with no secrets or lies ahead of them.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a long one. Also Im sorry :'(
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @itsjustwinterfalcon

It's been a couple of days since Bucky told him the real truth about everything and things were different. 

Bucky had told him about what he does for a living and who he works for, he didn't completely lie about working for the government, but Sam thought it was the FBI or something. Not SHIELD. Sam has heard very little about the organization. They always appear out of nowhere when some weird shit happens in New York, and then after they go back underground. Bucky revealed that he works for them and is one of their agents, so he works missions and travels around to investigate major occurrences in many countries. That probably explains how Bucky has the money to buy an expensive ass car and other luxury purchases. Bucky also sat Sam down when they got home and clarified how Grant-- or really Steve was Captain America. It took a lot of explaining and Bucky even brought out an ancient wrinkled photograph of Bucky and Steve way back when they were in the war together. He even told Sam a little bit of how Steve came to be Captain America, even though he hesitated to tell the secret. 

What shocked Sam even more was that Natalie or should Sam say Natasha was an agent of SHIELD and so was Clint. They are all undercover for some sort of mission that Bucky was very adamant not to tell Sam about. As a result, they all had to take fake covers and take another identity. Sam stopped going to the coffee shop, he only planned on staying away to get his head around everything. Because Sam really didn't want to be mad at Natasha or Clint, but how he was feeling right now made him feel impulsive and he felt that if he were to go there he would say something that he would most definitely regret. Natasha texted him the day after everything happened saying:

_ I’m truly sorry Sam that I didn't tell you. When you have time to come over to The Grind and we can talk. _

Sam knew that this was all apart of their jobs and they were trying to keep themselves safe, and Sam to be honest, but Sam can’t help but feel a bit cheated and slightly betrayed for them not telling him sooner. It's been six months, half a year and they kept it under wraps and away from him. Sam expressed this to Bucky and they got into their first fight and it was bad. There was yelling and shouting, arms were flying everywhere, faces were turning hot and red, heartbeats were accelerated and tears were flowing freely. The fight ended in Bucky leaving the house and not returning. Bucky hasn't been back in two days. He knows that he’s safe and well since Steve called gave him a quick text saying that he was staying over with him and Sharon. This made Sam feel even more upset and a little bit angry at Bucky. He understands that Bucky is probably scared or nervous since he’s never had a relationship like this, but he wants Bucky to come back so they can talk about the situation without emotions running high. He doesn't want Bucky running and hiding from him. And the dark place in Sam’s mind is jealous that Bucky can go and confine in Steve whenever something happens. He wants that trust with Bucky, but he knows that Steve and Bucky have had a long friendship together that has a long history of them building trust together. A trust and loyalty that can’t be broken. 

So Sam has been in his apartment feeling a bit like shit. He tried to keep moving forward and go to work and everything in between. He even called his sister to catch up. He just needed to hear a friendly comforting voice again. The past two days have been lonely without Bucky, it was even lonely when Bucky was here. The energy in the apartment changed when they got back from the museum that day. Bucky became more quieter than usual and more reserved and conscious about his movement and what he says. Like he was trying not to scare Sam. It was always tense and awkward. Sam tried to loosen up the situation but Bucky wouldn't respond to it. 

It's just been a hard couple of days and at this point Sam doesn't know if they will move forward. Sam has hope that Bucky will come back. Most of his stuff is here anyway so he has to come back and pick them up if he was leaving…. Sam didn't want to think about that. 

It was Friday once again and Sam was ready for the weekend. It was a stressful couple of days not only in his personal life, but also at work. It was an overflow of injured people with stab wounds, gunshot wounds or being injected with lethal poisoning or some sort of illegal concoction. It has been very busy at St Johns and everyone has been under a lot of strain, including Stephen which is a surprise. With the influx of patients Sam has been taking longer paying shifts just for the week to help out with everyone. 

Sam was in the hallway looking down at his clipboard going over a patient's information for the surgeon when Wanda came up to him. 

“Sam, you really need to head home it’s late.” 

Sam checked his watch and saw that it was very close to midnight. They obviously missed their Friday bar nights due to being so involved at the hospital. 

The man sighed, “I know, I know, I’m gonna get outta here. I just wanna check this last patient before I leave.” 

Wanda grabbed the clipboard, “I will do it. You have been here since 7:00 this morning. You have got to be tired. Go home Sam I got this.” She rubbed his shoulder and smiled softly at him. 

Sam smiled back and thanked her then made his way to collect his stuff and leave the hospital. 

It was a quiet Friday night. Sam walked down the street to the train station with distant honking in the background filling his ears. It was unusual to see so few people on the street at this hour on a Friday night or early Saturday morning. Sam felt a little uneasy in his stomach telling him to just take a cab, but he ignored that feeling, waving it off as him just being paranoid and tired. So he distracted himself with thinking what he wanted for dinner.   
  


Sam was so into debating with himself over Chinese or Indian that he didn't hear the tires roll up behind him. The last thing Sam remembered was that he was going to get Indian because he wanted naan bread and butter chicken more than he wanted sticky rice and sweet and sour pork before getting hit with a smooth hard object right on the back of his head. 

Then Sam saw black. 

**…..**

Sam woke up in a dank dark place. There was little lighting as the lightbulb above him was dim and flickering, close to giving out. The place was small and had a musty smell to it. With it being such a small area it was suffocating to be in. To sit in and to breathe in. Not to mention the slight smell of alcohol and some other toxin. 

Then Sam felt it. A sharp pain racking his whole head. Especially the back. His head was pounding like crazy. It felt like it was physically throbbing. Sam was disoriented and dizzy. He knows for a fact that he has been taken for some reason but he doesn't know why. He tries to wake himself up some more and be more alert but his eyes were refusing, his head is telling him no and right now the pain is winning. He can’t think with the continuing pain harrowing his head. He was hit really hard for the affects to be like this. Sam think he probably has a mild concussion. 

Sam was sitting there, bound to a rickety chair in a dark room with nothing and no one in it. He was stuck there for probably five agonizing minutes when the door opened and closed. Sam peeled his eyes open and came face to face with a male with a black buzzcut and piercing light grey eyes that looked near to transparent. It was hard to see the rest of him since it was so dim in the room. 

The man pulled up a chair that he dragged in and sat right across Sam. He sat there for about a minute just looking at Sam with a disgusting slimy smirk on his lips. Sam sat there trying not to look as scared as he was. He was thankful that his hands were bound behind him, he didn’t want the man to see how much they were shaking. But Sam played the front of himself very cool and collected, well as much as he can with a concussion. Sam didn't cower away or look in another direction. He looked straight into those deadly, lifeless grey eyes. 

“Mr Samuel Wilson. Nice to finally meet you.” The man's voice was stoic, robot like, but also had a sneering edge to it that made Sam shiver. 

Sam didn't say anything he just continued looking at the man. 

“Have nothing to say to me?” He asked. 

“Where am I?” Sam was impressed at how little his voice shook. 

“Somewhere far enough for someone not to find you.”

Another stare off was started. 

“Let me ask you another question,” the man leaned forward in the crickety chair, “do you know James Buchanan Barnes?” 

For the first time since being in the place Sams heart started to beat wildly in its cage, trying to escape. 

Sam tried to calm his heart as best as he could, “who wants to know?”

The man chuckled darkly, “you’re smart Samuel, you know that?”  He got up and opened the door and came back with a steel bat and small syringes that seem to be filled with something.  “You might wanna answer my question, Samuel.” He said darkly. 

He was standing now gripping the bat. 

“Yeah, I know J-James, alright.”

The man smiled and Sam saw the yellow twisted teeth. 

“Oh, I know you know Mr Barnes. I know that you more than know him.” The man sat down and placed the bat over his thighs, “see, I’ve been watching you for a while now. At first you were useless to me but then I saw some interesting interactions you have Mr Barnes and now you are very useful to me.” 

Sam sighed quietly, “what the fuck do you want man?” 

The mans face went dark and blank, “I want what's mine.” 

“What the fuck do you mean?” 

The man leaned dangerously close to Sam's face, Sam can finally see a scar that ran from his forehead down his right eye and stopping on his cheek. He was terrifying. 

“Mr Barnes is mine. He is ours. He is Hydra’s and we need him back.” 

Sam remembered Bucky telling him about Hydra. The place that took him captive and brainwashed for decades. They are a terrorist organization that are hell bent on world domination and wanting to create a totalitarian world. Bucky said that many members of Hydra have infiltrated throughout the world. He remembers Bucky saying: “They are the most dangerous people I have ever encountered. Even when I was under there fucking spell I was still afraid of them. They are vicious people, Sam.”

“So what do you want from me?” Sam knew very well what they wanted from Sam. They wanted him to tell them where Bucky was. 

The man sat back in his chair and stroked that bat, “you fucking know what I want from you. Tell me where Mr Barnes is.” 

Sam had enough confidence to scoff at what he said. “I ain’t tellin’ you shit, man.”

“Let me reiterate, if you do not tell me where James Buchanan Barnes is you will have a major problem.” He squeezed the bat to emphasize. 

“Look, I don’t know where he is.” 

“Do you know what Hydra has done to Mr Barnes. We have done awful, unforgivable and cruel things to that man. And he was under the serum. Mr Barnes was under one of the most powerful serum there is and even he couldn’t take the torture we gave him.” The man leaned in again, Sam could smell is stale breath up his nose, “what makes you think that you can?” 

Fear started to creep into Sam's bones. The fear was always there but now it was filling Sams blood and adrenaline coursing through his veins. His head was still very much still in pain and very fuzzy but Sam had to get out somehow or do something to buy him time. He didn’t know what to do. So out of impulse and since he had so much adrenaline in him he took all the energy he had left and said goodbye to his mild concussion and with as much might as he could he headbutt the man right in his nose. 

The man staggered back and was groaning. But to be honest it probably hurt Sam more. His head started to hammer and there was more than pang of pain running through his damaged head. 

The man looked back up with blood gushing down his face and his eyes filled with murder. He dropped the bat and stalked up to Sam. 

“You’re going to regret ever doing that.” He spat. 

Sam felt one the syringes he had poke through his arm and he felt the substance entered his blood stream. Sam tried to shimmy away from the man he wedged the needle deeper. Sam felt his body freeze up and his body was racketed with a great affliction. It was shaking and seizing. He felt his body feel frozen it was sharp spasm and a longing pain it left behind. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as his body was doing its own thing in the chair. His arms and legs begged to be free from the binds, but were left straining against them. 

“See what happens when you wrong me.” 

Sam tried to talk back but his tongue was heavy and all he did was gurggle. 

Finally his body gave out and so did his mind. 

**…. **

The next few hours were similar to the first time he woke up. A different man came in and asked him, “Where is Mr Barnes?” Sam never answered and tried to everything could to fight back. His head couldn't take another headbutt so he spat in the guys face, which was a mistake and resulted in him being whacked with the steel baseball bat on his shoulder. That pain was unspeakable. It just coursed through his body and left him paralyzed. When the man asked again Sam didn't answer he just sat there with his eyes staring up at the ceiling trying not to cry from the pain he was feeling. Then he filled him with the unnamed drug and he seized again but this time the dosage was stronger as Sam had no control over his nervous system nor his body or his eyes or anything. Sam was suffering on the inside. He knew what his body was doing to him but he had no control of it. It was like his soul was standing outside his body was watching. He felt his tongue down his own throat and bubbles of spit leaking over his mouth. Sam felt humiliated and was fuming but he couldn't do anything about it. 

His body gave out once again. And Sam fell into darkness. 

**….. **

It's been two days. And Sam’s has been stuck in the moisture laden room for two whole days without food or water. The only thing that Sam has that is closest is his own saliva, and even that is running out. His lips are chapped and cracked from lack of water, his mouth feels like it has a bunch of cotton in it, his eyes are dry and feels like dry sandpaper and his skin feels dry but hot at the same time. The drug they have been giving him several times a day have been draining out the moisture in his body and most likely all of his natural nutrients. It took a toll on his body. He feels sore all over from the daily seizures. Sam also is guessing that his nervous system breaks down during these intense seizures, so when he wakes up the next time his brain is all out of sorts. Not to mention the several broken ribs, a broken arm and swelling shoulder. He feels pain all throughout his body. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to open his eyes, at this point it's hard to even live with the psychos he’s around. He feels like a wreck and that's only on the outside. 

Inside he feels mentally and physically tired and broken. Even though he has been passing out due to whatever drug they have been giving him, Sam feels like he hasn't shut his eyes in the two days he’s been here. While he’s past out Sam has these crazy hallucinations that don’t make sense. It's like an acid trip most of the time. But a scary acid trip. The hallucinations usually end in Sam dying or being severely injured. Blood is everywhere; floating around, his face distorted, and endless screaming piercing Sam’s brain. The screams continue when he wakes up after a couple minutes making Sam disoriented and confused. His brain is pounding against his skull just screaming for sleep. For an out. Sam has lost all of his energy and makes no effort whats so ever. 

At the beginning Sam fought back as much as he could being bound on the chair. He never ratted Bucky out, always telling him that he didn’t know where Bucky was or what he was doing or where he was staying. Sam always kept his mouth shut, no matter how brutal it got. So Sam would get punished for this, but Sam would always fight back. He would spit or sometimes if his head was up to it he would headbutt them, but the most efficient way was biting. Sam had two different blood types from two different men that came in. Sam would feel his teeth pierce the skin and seep into the man's flesh. It was the only way for Sam to fight back. 

But by the end of the second day, after a brutal hit and an intense drug intake. Sam gave up. He was tired. He wanted to try and fight for himself but he couldn't anymore. He didn't even have the energy to talk any more. 

Sam was never a person to give up. He was always the person to look on the brighter things of everything. He was a proud optimistic person. But sitting there in that chair covered in his own blood, saliva and urine, Sam gave up. Sam was ready for the bright light to come get him, he was waiting for it. 

At the beginning of the third day the first man that he woke up to was sitting in the chair gazing at Sam with an interest. “You know he’s not coming for you right?” 

Sam closed his eyes and tried to block out whatever the man was trying to say to him. 

“Mr Wilson, my friend, Mr James Buchanan Barnes is the Winter Soldier. He was an assassin for most of his life. He has killed people, found them, tracked them down. That was living for many, many years. Do you think that it would really take him this long for him to track us down and rescue you. If he really wanted to you would be safe and sound already.” 

The man saw the effect his words were having on Sam. The slight realization slipping onto his face. 

“Maybe he doesn't love you and care for you as much as he said he did. Because if he did you wouldnt be here right now and so wouldn't I.”

The man injected Sam with another dose and Sam shook and shaken and twitched wildly in his chair until unconsciousness hit him. 

**…..**

Sam shot up bleary eyed and bewildered when the door slammed open and smacked on the wall. 

Sam could finally hear what was going on outside the room he was in. His ears were ringing due to disuse, but he heard multiple gunshots, yelling and screaming, many bangs and an alarm going off outside the room. It sounded like chaos. 

Sam looked at the man standing at the door. Sam couldn't see him well due to him just waking up and the drugs in his system. The man stood there for a couple of seconds seemingly staring at Sam. When he walked closer he was wearing all black again with a bulky black vest and a mask on the lower half of his face and he was holding some sort of large gun in his hand. Sam started skittering backwards in his chair out of fear. The man exudes spine chilling energy. Sam didn't know this man, he has never seen a man like this coe in here. Especially not with a gun and a mask.  _ Maybe they're going to kill me. Is this their hitman or something? Maybe my time is up. Oh fuck. Please God, no. Not like this. I’d rather die on overdose.  _

The more the man walked near the dim light Sam saw a fleck of light bouncing off his right arm. It was like when light hits metal, it created a glare. Sam's eyes widen in hopefulness. 

“Bucky?” Sam croaked. 

Bucky ran forward and dropped down on his knees. Sam saw years in his eyes and roll down his mask. Bucky ripped off the thing and Sam was able to see his whole face. 

“Sam,” Bucky sobbed. 

Bucky pulled Sam into a hug as much as he could and cried into Sam's shoulder. They were big heart wrenching cries. Sam couldn't do anything but sit there even though all Sam wanted to do was wrap his arms around Bucky and feel his warmth once again. 

“Sam,” Bucky rasped. He pulled back and stared at Sam. Taking his full of Sam’s tired and sunken face. 

Bucky also looked sunken. He had dark sunken circles under his eyes and his eyes themselves were red rimmed and thick red veins were very apparent in his whites. He looked worn out. 

“Lemme get you out.” Bucky’s voice was hoarse and croaky from crying. A knife appeared in his hand and he snapped Sam’s binds and lifted him up in his arms. 

If Sam had energy left in him he would’ve been bawling his eyes out, but he had no water left in him and he was just too drained. But the feeling inside could not be subsided. It could not be put out. The light in his soul was burning bright and it filled him with a warm feeling. 

“I missed you.” Sam rasped. His voice was mostly gone from lack of water and the drugs. 

Sam heard bucky sob in the back of the throat and saw more tears leak out of his eyes. 

Bucky kept walking him down a long endless grey hallway. On the way to end he saw many dead bodies lying there in puddles of blood. There was blood everywhere; on the walls, the floor and the ceiling. Sam gazed back at Bucky and saw blood splattered on his face.

“You came back for me.”

Bucky looked down at Sam and something snapped in his eyes but he didn’t say anything. He just held Sam tighter to his chest as he exited the hallway. 

They walked out into a bigger room with desks and dim overhead lights and there was dead and unconscious people scattered everywhere. The room smelt like copper and gunpowder. Near the far end of the room he saw three figures near the exit. Captain America or Steve, Natasha and Clint. Nat and Clint were red eyed and Sam couldn't really see Steve well. 

“Oh, Sam.” Natasha voice broke and more tears flooded out her eyes. 

Sam didn’t say or do anything back. 

In the last second Sam saw the room spin and his eyes get heavier and heavier and then it was black once again. 

**…. **

Sam woke up looking at a white ceiling and bright light surrounding him. His head had a major migraine from the brightness of the room and all the medication he’s probably under. Sam noticed that he was in some sort of medical room. It was St Johns, but a hospital room no less. Sam looked to his right and saw the machines he was hooked on. His vitals were clear and his heartbeat was steady. Sam then looked to his left and saw Bucky slouched in an uncomfortable looking chair sleeping. Sam didn’t have the heart to wake him up so he just layed there. 

Sam’s eyes traveled down to his body but knew that he had multiple bandages on his body. He knew he had a cast and sling on his injured arm, obviously his rubs were bandaged and he felt his leg all snugged up in something. All the pain was evaporated from his body due to the heavy anesthetics he is under. His body was numb to the pain that he previously felt. 

Sam barely remembered what happened before. Sam was out of his mind during the past couple of days, so the days mashed together and the events were blurry and erratic in Sams brain. To be honest, Sam didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to look back on that. Sam was in a horrifying and scary situation that he knows will give him nightmares for a long while. Sam hasn't had a sleep where he wasn't under the influence but once he is on his own trying to turn off his brain he knows that he will be haunted. Sam knows that he’s going to have to talk to someone eventually to continue a healthy mental state. 

All of the shuffling under the sheets of self inspecting himself made Bucky wake up slowly. He was always such a light sleeper. He rubbed his eyes like a cute little kitten and pulling himself higher in his seat, stretching his arms above his head and twisting his back making them crack several times. 

“Damn old man, you need a masseuse or something.” Sam’s voice was still slightly gone for the most part, his voice was hoarse and quiet. 

Bucky’s head snapped towards Sam and his eyes filled with tears. He moved closer to Sam and placed his hands on Sams jaw and put his forehead on the other mans. He stayed there for a couple of minutes just breathing Sam in. Sam felt stray tears fall on his cheeks that were mixing in with his own. 

“Sam, baby,” Bucky choked. 

Sam couldn't really move much even though he wanted to stretch up and give Bucky a soundly smooch. But he was just as happy to be in Bucky’s arms. 

“I thought I lost you.” 

Sam shook his head in response. 

Bucky pulled back and looked at Sam fully and his eyes were sparkling but sadness resided there. He stroked Sams cheekbones and smiled sadly. 

“Fuck Sam, I thought you-” Bucky sobbed once again and tears started treaming down his cheeks. 

Sam placed his face in between his neck and shoulder and breathed in Bucky’s warm husky scent. He missed this. He felt like he was at home in Bucky’s arms. 

Bucky pulled away and placed a soft kiss on his Sams cheek and sat down. 

Even though Sam has been missing for a couple of days and was traumatised, Sam couldn't forget what happened the days before he was taken. Their relationship was slightly on the rocks. He was more thankful that he is out of that situation but he can’t let what happened before slide. They obviously needed to talk and now was a better time than ever. He didn’t want to get distracted with sweet honeyed words that will come later if he lets it go. 

“Buck. Where did you go?” Sam knew he was Steve but he wanted Bucky to tell him what happened. 

Bucky sighed and ran his hand down the scruff on his face, “I was at Steve’s. I just needed to calm myself down after what transpired.” 

“But you didn’t even come home, Bucky. You left me for two days without anything. You just upped and left.” 

Bucky made a choking noise at the back of his throat, “I know, I know. I just- there's no excuse for what I did. I was just scared after that fight. I was angry at you, at life and at myself. I just needed time to figure shit out.” 

“Figure out what? That you didn't want to be with me?” 

Bucky’s face dropped completely and dread filled his eyes. He leaned over closer to Sam, “I would never leave you. No matter how angry I was. I. Will. Never. Leave. You. Unless you ask me to. But never out of my own will.” Bucky dropped his eyes, “I was so riled up Sam. And I just felt this hideous anger building up inside of me I just needed to talk things out I needed to get my shit together I just needed some time to think. And it all wasn't about you. It was mostly about me and my past n’ all that shit.” 

Sam tried to not let his heart drop, but it did. “So you went to go talk to Steve about everything?” 

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, and some stuff to my therapist” 

There was a funny feeling bubbling in Sams lower stomach. 

“Why can’t you tell me things that you can tell Steve? I waited for you Bucky. I wanted you to come home so we could talk things out and get all of our feelings out on the tables once we were down on our emotional high. But you never want to tell me things. Especially what’s going on in your brain up there. You always tell Steve. And I know you guys have this trust between you guys that has spawned over decades but I wanna know what you’re thinking or else we get miscommunication which is shit for a building relationships that want to work. And when you tell Steve your stuff and Nat for that matter and not me it makes me feel… I dunno. It just gives me this feeling inside. I come to you to confine in things and you don’t. I dunno. That's what I’m feeling.” 

After all of that Sam felt exhausted and thirsty. He could hear that his vitals increased through the speech from all of his pent up emotions, but he was glad to get that off his chest.

Bucky grasped Sam's hand in his. He had a pained expression on his face and more tears welling up in his eyes. It's been quite a while since Sam has seen someone cry this much in a while. Especially someone like Bucky who always seems to be in control of their emotions. 

“Sam,” he whispered, “I didn’t tell you the shit going on my mind because that shit is fucking scary. I have terrifying thoughts and situations that run through my mind. Things that may make you uncomfortable or make you a bit disturbed and I wanted to hide that from you. I didn't want you to see how much of me is truly messed up. Steve has seen it all and has experienced his own PTSD. He just helps calm me down and shit. And my therapist helps me reevaluate things and think things through and all that. I don’t want to tell you these things, Sam. I don’t want you to worry about me or listen to the messed up things in my head when things trigger me. I don’t want you to feel like an at home therapist for me. I trust Steve with these things because he’s been on this fucking journey with me. But obviously trust you too. I probably trust you more. I trust you with my well being, my life and my heart. Way more that I usually let people do. I just don’t want to scare you, Sam. I love you more than anything. The first in a very, very, very long time. I want you forever and I just don’t want you to be frightened of me and leave. Or for you to be cautious around me because of it. It’s not because I don’t trust you Sam. Never that. I fucking love you.” 

By the end of they were both silently crying. Mostly Sam from the truth as to why and all of the things that Bucky said. Sam’s heart feels whole, full and complete. All of Bucky’s words erased any doubt that was lying about Sam’s mind and put them to rest. 

“If it matters, I want you forever too.” Sam croaked. 

Bucky broke into a huge beautiful grin. 

“I’m getting better Sam. I’m taking up more extensive therapy, more times a week. I wanna fix my mental state and put it in a better place.” 

Sam nodded and smiled. He opened his arms for Bucky and the man went and stayed there for a good 5 minutes. Sam just savored the slight weight and warmth of the man he loves and sighed. 

**…..**

On the second day Sam was awake he found out that he was at SHIELD in one of their care premisses. 

On the third day, everyone came to see Sam. Natalie came in red eyed and clung to Sam whispering “I’m sorry” and “forgive us” multiple times. Clint came with her and presented Sam with a cake from one of the fancy bakeries in their area. He said he put in an order as soon as Sam was placed in care. Sam’s eyes lit up and thanked clint. Steve and Sharon came to say ‘hello’ as well. Steve felt really bad that Hydra targeted Sam in the first place and vowed that they will get their vengeance. 

Later that day, Steve and Bucky’s boss, Nick Fury, came in and wanted to hear what happened from the source itself. At first Bucky protested, not allowing Sam to talk about something so traumatising so soon. But Sam wanted to. If any tiny detail that Sam has can help people from getting in harm's way then he was going to say it. Although he wanted to help and say what occurred those days it still hurt, it still scared him. At one point Sam started shaking and his vitals were increasing by the second and if he didn’t calm down he would put himself in back under due to his fragile state. What helped calm him down was always Bucky. He sat near him holding his hand and caressing his back or his arm would be around his waist just to show his presence to Sam, that he wasn't alone anymore. It was a difficult hour and a half but he was glad he did it. 

It was also a bit weird that he saw Bruce as his doctor but was reminded that Bruce has ties to Natalie and the rest of the crew. As soon as Sam was stable and was able to stay awake Bruce kept saying “sorry” as well even though he was never involved in anything. 

Bucky stayed beside Sam’s side the whole time. The only time he left was to go to the bathroom, take a quick shower in the facility or get them something to eat. Then he would just sit beside Sam the whole day and talk about everything and nothing. Sometimes they would just sit beside each other and read. Bucky would read on his Kindle and Sam would read a paperback since he was told to stay of any technological device. 

It was on the fourth day that Nat came over and Bucky had to go somewhere. He said to Sam that he had to go and talk to Steve about the Hydra situation. He soundly and messily kissed Sam goodbye and left as soon as Natasha came through the door. 

The time with Natasha at first was filled with awkwardness and underlying tension. Sam hasn't seen her after what Bucky told him that day at the museum. He avoided everyone involved after. So there was a lot of things left unsaid. Natasha spent her time explaining herself and the situation and the real her. That she’s not actually Natalie but Natasha and she was a spy. It wasn't as trastic as Bucky’s reveal. She was just a regular spy who goes undercover. After everything was on the table and Sam could see everything on it clearly the tension left the room and he apologized for avoiding her and everything. They both forgave each other with open arms and before she left she assured Sam: “I may be undercover and have to fake my identity and who I am and where I work and who I hang out with but you Sam are a true friend to me as Natasha. One of my closest.”

Sam spent the rest of the day having a nap and reading. Sam was still on bed rest as his bones are still healing themselves, same with his bruises and fractures. Sam was ordered to just stay put and do nothing. And that agitated Sam. He was an active guy, he liked to go running, he liked vigorous activities, he likes the adrenaline rush. So after the third day on bed rest he started to get restless. 

Sam was just on the second to last chapter on his book when Bucky came in with take out for their dinner. 

“Hey baby, how ‘ya feeling?” He shrugged of his jacket and placed the take out food down before placing a kiss on Sams forehead. 

“I’m fucking bored.” 

Bucky chuckled softly, “well you don’t get until next Tuesday so you’re just gonna have to cope.” He opened the bag and placed a Sam's serving of Chinese food on his little table above his bed. 

They silently started to chow down on food as they watched the news on the TV. Bucky finished his food way before Sam did and started fiddling on his phone. Sam knew something wasn't right with the man. Bucky can be very transparent sometimes which could make Sam read him like a book. 

“What's wrong?” Sam pushed the table away and turned his attention to Bucky. 

“Huh?”

“Something ain’t right. What happened?” Sam repeated. 

Bucky stayed quiet for a long time. His brows furrowed deeper into his skin and his lips were set in a thin line. 

He let out a breath, “I gotta go.” 

“Go where? The bathroom or something?” 

Bucky shook his head sadly, “no Sam, I gotta finish this. I gotta go and find this Hydra group and set this to rest.” 

Sam face twisted in confusion, “I thought that's what you’re doing right now. The reason why you’re undercover.” 

Bucky faced Sam, his face dead serious, “yeah, that's what I  _ was _ doing. Not anymore. Sam, you don’t understand how I felt when I found out you were taken. Taken from me from those stupid fuckers. The feelings that went through me when I came home to an empty house and your work didn't know where you were. I can’t sit here and wait for them. I gotta go and do this. I gotta go find them myself because if I don’t you will get hurt. They will target you now that they know who you are and that you escaped. Your life is severely on the line right now and I’m not gonna sit here on my ass on a fucking stupid undercover mission and wait for them.” 

“But Bucky,” Sam sputtered. He blinked many times not knowing what to do or say. 

“No Sam. I’m doing this for you, for us. I want us to live without always looking out for Hydra. And I know your in danger and I won't stand for it. You are the most important thing I care for and that I love, I will not let you get hurt over something I can prevent. You’re too precious to risk. Even for a little bit.”

Sam eyes started to well, “so you’re leaving?” 

Bucky scooted Sam over gently and layed down next to him on the small bed. “I’m leaving so I can come back and be together. I am leaving for you Sam and I am coming back for you. Let me finish this and then I can come back to you.” 

Sam knew this was Bucky’s job and he had to go on these missions and go away. But he just got Bucky back. He felt like they were really moving forward and now he’s going again. And not just anywhere, but to go and fight. He knew he was doing this for them, though. And that made Sam feel slightly better in the moment. He knows that in the long run this is going to be the right decision they made. He’s just gonna have to suck it up and let Bucky do what he has to do. 

“You’re gonna come back to me forever?” Sam asked.

Bucky leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Sams lips. They both tasted of Chinese food and both of there lips were sticky from the sweet and sour sauce. 

“Yes, forever.” 

**…..**

Sam was released on that next Tuesday, like they said but still had to be mostly on bed rest at his house. He was allowed to do vigorous activities, which included taking long walks, exercising, running or even taking the stairs. But he was allowed to stand and walk around his house. Sam was also advised that he take two to three weeks off work. They said that his injuries were healing nicely and they didn’t want anything to compromise that. 

Sam was happy to finally go home after many days, but was low spirited at the same time because Bucky had to leave the same day. 

Bucky and Steve came to drop Sam off together to make sure he was all set. Bucky worried so much over everything and over the littlest things. Both Sam and Steve could tell that he was stalling time but soon it was cutting too close to the time that they had to leave. 

“Buck. We gotta go Fury’s downstairs.” 

Bucky turned around and looked grief-stricken. 

“I’ll leave you guys to say goodbye.” Steve turned to Sam, “we’ll catch them Sam. We’ll avenge what they did to you and I will bring back this punk right here to you in one piece. That's a promise.” He gave Sam a huge hug but was careful of his wounds. 

Then Steve left and it was just the two of us. 

Sam felt his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach. 

Bucky rushed over and hugged Sam deeply. Sam didn't want to let go. He wanted to stay in Bucky’s signature warmth. 

“Sam, I love you so much. Y’know that, right?” 

Sam sobbed at the back of his throat slightly and nodded. 

They pulled back slightly and Sam attacked Bucky’s mouth. He just wanted one more taste of him. Sam ran his tongue against Bucky’s as their tongues said goodbye to each other. Even the warmth of Bucky’s mouth, Sam didn't want to let go. He was going to miss the warm and wet feeling of it. He nipped at Bucky’s plump bottom lip and held on to it as he pulled away. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Sam finally said. 

Bucky nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. 

“Here. This is for you. Something for you to hold on to.” 

Sam pulled out a chain with his necklace hanging from it. He wore that ring everyday on his forefinger since he was 17. It was a real silver ring with designs engraved on it. At one point it was one of the most valuable thing he owned. He had it with him through all of his struggles and never sold it or pawned it to make ends meet. He couldn't do that. And so it lived on his finger for years and now he wanted Bucky to have it. It may be a little dirty and could use a clean but it still had all of its sentimental feelings on it. 

“Sam.” He took the necklace and and inspected it knowing that this is is Sam’s. He placed it around his neck, kissed it and placed it in his shirt. 

“I’m coming back to you. And when I do I will be yours forever. I won't ever leave.” 

Sam joked, “I’m holding you to that.” But fat tears were rolling down his cheeks. 

He may not see Bucky for months on end possibly a year or more. It’s going to be a really long time before he sees the man he loves again. 

“I love you.” Bucky kissed Sam sweetly before he pulled away. Something was buzzing on him. It was probably Steve saying they had to go. 

“I love you, doll.” Bucky started opened the door and looked at Sam one last time and gave him one last wink before he left. 

Now it was just Sam. Along. By himself. 

He trudged to his bedroom and was planning on having a lay down but when he got to his bed something was on his pillow. 

_ For you. Love Bucky.  _

What layed there were old and dirty dog tags. Bucky’s dog tags. They were cold but Sam gripped them and slipped into bed. 

He fell asleep with them tucked warmly in his hand. Reminding him of Bucky. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are so so close to the end guys. One more chapter!!!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @itsjustwinterfalcon

Days, weeks and months went by and Sam continued as normal. 

The first couple of days were hard. He was said to be on bed rest for almost a month. So Sam was ordered to stay at home and rest. Sam would just sit on his couch and watch TV or lay in his bed and read a book. For days in and days out Sam would just lay at home by himself without company. He struggled sometimes, but he made it through. He became frustrated at the situation and at himself. It also didn’t help that Sam would have recurring nightmares and he would wake up with him drenched in sweat and limbs shaking and no one beside him to console him. The familiar warmth in his bed was gone. It was just cold sheets. He would go to sleep those nights clutching on Bucky’s tags around his neck. 

After the three weeks Sam was back at work and it felt good. He wasn’t allowed to do any activities that would compromise his recovery. So Sam would just work with checking on patients and working with kids under the age of 16. They also allowed him easy hours. Letting him come in at 12pm and leave at around 7:30. When he got back to St Johns everyone swarmed around him with questions, apologies and gifts. They all welcomed him back with welcome arms though, which was very touching to Sam. He missed work. He missed Jane telling him the scoop at the office. He missed Stephens arrogant self around the place. He missed the general nicenes of Wanda and he did miss Shuri and Peter. And when he got back from his leave they showed him all the stuff going on in pop culture that Sam doesn’t pay attention to. It was nice to be surrounded by such caring people with bright smiles and happy faces. It made his lonely insides warm. 

And now Months have past and Sam was getting better. He was appointed to a therapist to talk about his experience and his nightmares. He has been going to therapy for about two months and she has been truly helping him get mentally better. It was a struggle at first to talk to her. Not because he didn’t want to, but it was hard to bring those memories back to the forefront again. Sam would seize up and his therapist would change subjects for the day. But Sam soon started slowly talking about it. It wasn't easy. He would cry and shake and sweat and feel like he was back in that dank room again. But when he would get home he would feel a little bit of weight lift off his shoulder. Piece by piece. 

Spring had finally left and summer was here. The warm weather made its way through New York and in its fashion New York was experiencing a heat wave for the Fourth of July. The whole day was spent with Natasha, Clint, Thor, Bruce and their friends Scott, Hope and Valkyrie on a yacht. A fucking yacht. Music was pumping through the boat, beers and different alcohols were open and flowing and the food was out for everyone. It was an amazing time. Everything was so easy and simple that day. The alcohol made people loose and happy. No bad energy in sight. Inkling at the back of Sam’s mind he wished Bucky would be there to celebrate with him instead of being somewhere in the world fighting. But Sam pushed that away knowing that it would upset him for the rest of the night. The night ended with them all being drunk thanks to Thor and Valkyrie always thrusting drinks in their faces and them setting of bright fireworks into the pitch black night sky. They weren't the only ones. Other boats surrounding them set fireworks off. There were also set off somewhere in the city. It was a fun night that Sam would treasure forever. And he has pictures to prove it. They all took back a cab back to their respective houses and Sam fell into bed to not thinking about anything. He went to bed that night with a small smile on his face, hugging Bucky’s pillow. 

The summer had come and gone and it was good. The hot days sometimes were too much but Sam couldn't complain. He tarted picking up running again. Slowly at first but soon was back up to how he was before. And it felt fucking good. Sam also took some time off to go visit his Mama, sister and his favorite and only niece. He stayed for four days at his Mama’s house in Harlem. The days were filled with his hyper niece wanting him to take her everywhere, which he did. Or he would help out his Mama around the house and her garden or the kitchen. Sam got some scouling like he was child especially is he and his sister would be picking on each other. The rise of Mama’s voice got them to settle down. Just like when they were kids. When Sam was back with his Mama he felt like a kid again. He missed feeling innocent and a little bit naive. He felt safe and secure in his Mama’s house. 

When he got back from his vacation he was back at work. But there’s just something about working in the summer that has everyone in a better mood. It has everyone smiling and in giddy moods. The energy in the hospital is lighter. Shuri and Peter weren't around for the summer because of their summer break at University but they did come and visit often. Sam and his other co workers started to pick up their Friday after work drinks again. Some nights would get rowdier than most but all in all they would all have a blast. 

Sometime in August Clint took Sam to an elite car show in New York City. Clint knew he had a thing for cars so Clint took him as a very early birthday present. They didn’t have any other later shows so it was now or never. The car show was a whole black tie event. It was lavish, plush and very much to the elite. Sam even saw many stars show up. They showed up exotic supercars or famous vintage cars and posed on the red carpet. Sam questioned how Clint got the tickets. At first he suspected it was because he was Hawkeye, but they didn’t know the man under the mask so that couldn't be it. And Clint was not some superstar. He said that Tony Stark gave him extra tickets. Sam only found out that most of the people he knows are close with the Tony Stark who is Iron Man. 

Soon September hit and it was Sam’s birthday. September 23rd. It was his 37th birthday. The first thing he woke to was many “Happy Birthday!” on Facebook or nice messages messages from others who decided to text. He got a long and loud call from his Mama and his sister. He didn’t do anything for his birthday. School was starting up again, many people coming back from vacation and for some reason a lot of kids and teens coming in for shots. September is the months were everything starts a new after a messy and wild summer. So he had no time to do anything. He wasn't upset or anything. He never used to do anything for his birthday anyway so nothing really changed. When he got home from his shift Clint Facetimed him a happy birthday saying that he was gonna bake a cake for him. They talked for another hour before Sam’s take out came. While he sat there eating and watching TV Sam felt so very much alone. The only thing that changed from previous years was that he was used to being alone. Not really having anything to compare to. Now with Bucky gone on the first birthday they are sharing together he is not here to celebrate with him. And that leaves a cold pit in his stomach. Soon after Sams eyes well up and trickle down his cheeks. He missed Bucky. He missed his presence around him and his love. Sam sat there feeling cold and distant from everything. The first time since Bucky left and he feels him breaking down. All the emotions he held in. Even in therapy he would try and stay strong for Bucky. But now, it was too much. Sam put his leftovers in the fridge and got ready for bed. 

When he woke up the next morning it was to soft knocking on the door. He was wearing Bucky’s t-shirt and his sweats. Wanting to feel close to him. When he answered the door Natasha was standing there wearing her all black Black Widow suit and holding an envelope. 

“Happy belated Birthday, Sam.” She said softly. She wrapped her arms around Sam and gave him a tight squeeze. He needed a hug. He has been needing some sort of contact since last night. It wasn't Bucky’s but Sam would take a friendly hug any day over nothing. 

“Thanks.” He said into her shoulder. 

“I would’ve came over yesterday but I just got back from a mission. Also,” He handed him the white envelope, “this is for you.” 

He took it and inspected it. It had no address, no name and no stamp. 

“Who is it from?” 

She gave him a smirk, “open and read it.” 

With that Natasha left. 

Sam went back into his apartment and made himself comfortable in his bed. He ripped open the envelope and was met with a letter. 

Sam gasped softly as he saw Bucky’s block writing. 

_ Dear Sam,  _

_ Happy Birthday doll! I hope this gets to you in time for your birthday. I really wanted to send you something if I can’t physically be there. And I wish I was there with you for your first birthday that we are together. When I get back I will make it up to you with a better present. I can’t write for long but I just wanted to give you at least something. I miss you so much baby, you don’t even fucking know. Every night I think about you and hold on to your ring wishing it was you. That ring is like my anchor when I’m in the places that I am. I think about you during the day when we’re traveling. Thinking about is my favorite pastime. Thinking about all the things we’re going to do when I get back. I think about the future we’re going to have together. I love you so fucking much baby and don’t ever forget it. Hopefully I’ll be home soon.  _

_ Love, Bucky. _

Sam didn’t realize that his tears were staining the letter. He was hiccuping by the end of the letter with a big watery smile plastered on his face. He re read the letter three times before he could settle his heart down and stop crying. Bucky didn’t need to give Sam a better present when he came back because this is the best present Sam could receive. Knowing that Bucky was alright or alright enough to write Sam a letter for his birthday and express how much he missed him. Even though Sam felt a short pang of loneliness, it was overwhelmed by a tender warmhearted feeling lighting up Sams insides. 

Sam re read the letter one time before setting it on his bedside table and falling asleep with the feeling still in his stomach. 

**…..**

Sam spent Thanksgiving at Natasha and Clint's house. They invited everyone of their friends, who are now Sams friends as well. They all spent the day watching good ol’ Thanksgiving football with plenty of bear, Thor even brought his own mead for everyone to try. It was also filled with plenty of screaming and shouting at the TV. 

When it was time Clint presented us with a large and savory looking turkey and some roast potatoes, veg and gravy. They all went around the table and said what they were thankful for and the consensus was that everyone was pretty much safe as they can be and alive. Sam felt like was surrounded by love and affection by his peers. He spent the whole day with a smile always on his face. 

After Thanksgiving all the fake turkeys and orange and yellow leaves were replaced with Christmas ornaments and gift wrap. It seemed like Christmas took over the stores the very next day. But Sam wasn't complaining he loved Christmas. Even though his significant other was no with him Sam was in a jolly mood for the rest of November and December. 

His workplace was filled with Christmas decorations everywhere and they had a bowl of candy canes for the children. Most of the staff had elf years or a Santa hats on. And Christmas music was always playing quietly in the background all throughout St Johns. 

Sam even decked out his own house. Even though he was spending the holidays with mother he still wanted his apartment to be in the holiday spirit as well. He didn’t go as far as putting up full evergreen Christmas tree but he did buy a small tree with small little ornaments on it. 

The nights were quiet and soundless as snow was covering Brooklyn and Sam would cuddle up in a nice wool blanket and sip some hot chocolate watching Christmas special of the Bake Off. It would sometimes be lonely by himself during the early days of December but Sam pushed it aside and put it way for his therapy sessions. 

When Sam went to his mother's house he was met with his cousins, aunt and uncles. It was a full house. The house was filled with laughter and loud voices. Sam didn’t have time to feel lonely because there was always someone there. It felt like old times with all his family members around. Sam used to be really close with his cousins so it was a treat to see them again. They still acted like how they acted when they would meet up when they were younger. They were loud, rowdy and rambunctious.

On Christmas day Sam was awakened by his niece dragging him out of his bed and down the stairs to open the presents. His sister and his Mama were already waiting around the tree to get started. By the end of it most of the gifts were for his niece of course. All of them dolls and other toys. But Sam did get more than a handful of presents. More than he was expecting. A lot of them were household appliances or socks or some ties. But his sister got him a nice simple gold chain. Which he out on, right next to Bucky’s tags. In the evening his Mama cooked up a storm in the kitchen for Christmas dinner. By the end of it, Sam was in a food coma. He was stuffed to the brim with turkey, stuffing, ham, mac n cheese, asparagus, potatoes and dessert. 

Sam was invited by Nat to a New Years Eve party at Tony Stark's mansion, but Sam declined wanting to stay with family for New Years Eve watching Anderson Cooper New Years show. They played a bunch of games, him and Sarah drank a little and they all joked around to pass the time. And when it hit 12am they all screamed “Happy New Year!” They all hugged and laughed clinking their champagne glasses. His Mama opened the door to let the New Year air come into the house and Sam went out to breathe it up. Outside far off in the distance in the sky there was fireworks being fired. Sam closed his eyes and kissed Bucky’s tag muttering, “Happy New Years, baby.” 

More months past. The sun was getting brighter, losing its bleak winter rays, the snow was melting and trees were starting to bud. It was a time for a renewal. Sam was doing everything the same. Exercising, eating good, socializing, going to therapy, all those stuff. 

But one thing that was on Sams on list of the beginning of Spring was to send something for Bucky. After the holidays, Sam received another letter from Bucky and Sam wanted reciprocate. He wanted to send Bucky a letter for his Birthday. March 12th. Sam wrote a lengthy letter wishing him a Happy Birthday and about what he has been up to over the past year he was gone and how much he missed him and loved him. It was a two paged letter. Sam asked Natasha repeatedly if she could somehow send it to Bucky but she always said that it would be a huge risk to send something to him without him or her getting caught ny Hydra. Sam left the letter in her possession, hoping that she would find a way. She never updated him about or gave it back to him or said she wasn't going to send it. The letter was never brought up again. 

It has now been a year and two months since Bucky left and Natasha was taking him out. They haven't really seen each other much as he has been a bit busy and she has been MIA. 

“Where are we going?” Sam asked. They were outside of New York City. Coasting on empty roads surrounded by trees and nature. 

“Just sit back and relax. We’ll be there soon.” 

He glanced at Nat. She had a sunglasses on and little smirk on her lips. 

Something was up but Sam decided not to say anything. 

It was another half an hour before Sam started to see a tall cylindrical building attached to short buildings on some sort of private island. Huge was an understatement to how large the place looked. 

“Where are we?” Sam's eyes bugged slightly out his head as they neared closer to the facility. 

Sam noticed as they got closer he saw a logo that he has seen before. He’s seen it when he was recovering. 

“Why are we at SHIELD?” 

“I have something to show you.” She continued driving into the underground parking area. 

“What is there to show at SHIELD?” 

“Why do you have so many questions?” She asked with a smile. 

She parked the car and without anything else she hopped out. 

They both made their way to the elevator and she took them up one story. Sam really wanted to ask her more questions because it was weird being at SHIELD. Sam doesn't have a place to be here.  _ What does she have to show me me at this place.  _

They stepped out onto the main floor and there as a bunch of people bustling about with headsets on. The place was spacious and quite empty except for the main desk and a couple of seating places on the side. Sam followed Natasha as she briskly walked through the building. The next thing he knew he was outside on a tarmac landing zone. 

“Nat, can you tell me what's going on?” 

“Just wait. You’re going to love it.” 

Sam waited and waited and nothing happened. He was just staring at a vast landing zone with nothing on it. Sam then heard heavy footsteps behind him and turned to see Fury with his usual scowl. 

“Romanoff. Wilson.” He greeted gruffly. 

Both him and Natasha greeted him back. Nat had more stuff to say, while Sam kept his eyes on the landing area. About five minutes later a large aircraft started to make its way closer in the sky. It did not look like a plane at all. Not even a jet. It was a whole new aircraft that Sam has never seen before. 

It came lower and lower and made its way onto the tarmac smoothly. 

The aircraft stopped and didn’t move for a solid three minutes. The engine cut but no one came out. 

Soon after the doors were pulled down and two figures started walking out. They were a bit too far but Sam could tell. He could notice from miles away who was walking towards him. 

“Bucky.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are.

“Bucky.”

Sam’s feet started to move before his mind told them to. He began to walk off the stop landing they were on and down a couple of steps. Natasha and Fury followed his lead. He walked a little further and stopped, waiting for the man to come closer. Sam’s brain was overriding, his whole body was on autopilot, and all he could think about was  _ Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.  _ He was walking closer and closer to Sam and Sam all could do was stay rooted to the ground. 

Bucky looked different. Way different before he left. His hair was much longer; it was just about touching his shoulder, he had a thick beard and his body was much more bulkier than before. And he looked drained. Sam could tell by the way he was walking, the lines in his face and his eyes. Oh, his gorgeous blue eyes that Sam has missed very much. That is the one thing that has not changed. His expressive eyes stayed the same. 

Bucky was grinning from ear to ear when he was a couple feet away from Sam. All the tension that he was holding in evaporated and slipped away from his body. 

Then he began to speak, “Sam.” 

That one word finished Sam. The man started trembling slightly and tried so hard not to break down in front of everyone. Once Bucky was in arms length he pulled him into his arms and Sam felt calm once again. 

He wound his arms around Bucky’s neck and held on for dear life. He was warm and sturdy and soft and safe. Bucky placed his face in Sam’s neck and Sam felt wetness on the curve of his neck and shoulder. Bucky smelt of his usual muskyness, but was tinted with gun residue and harsh metals. 

They just held each other. Welcoming to each others warmth and presence. 

“I missed you.” Sam whispered finally. 

“I will never leave you again. It's done,” Bucky pulled away, “it’s all done and I’m all yours.” 

Sam placed his lips on Bucky’s and just wanted to feel the warmth and taste of Bucky, nothing more. 

Fury cleared his throat and both Sam and Bucky turned around to see the man giving them an expectant look. 

“We have to do a slight debrief before you go.” His voice didn’t express anything to what he just saw. He said what he had to and started walking back into the building. 

Natasha and Steve were smiling at both of them. 

“It’s good to have you back, Bucky.” 

Bucky smiled at her, “thanks.” 

As they walked back into the SHIELD building Bucky didn't let Sam out of his arms. Neither did his lips. They weren't sexual kisses, more comforting than anything. People were looking and staring as they walked through the facility but neither Bucky or Sam cared. Sam has just reunited with his lover that he hasn't seen in over a year. He is not going to push him away because people are uncomfortable. 

They made their way into the debriefing room soon enough and Sam sat down next to Bucky with his hand in his. 

Natasha faced the man with the eye patch, “Fury, is this gonna take long? ‘Cause I think the boys really need a rest.” 

Fury glared at Natasha, “it will take as long as it needs too.” 

Sam, Bucky, Steve, Natasha and Fury all sat at the table debriefing the whole year they were gone for two hours. The longest and one of the most painful two hours of Sam’s life. Bucky let Steve tell everything that happened, while he just sat there holding onto Sam. When Steve would bring something up Bucky’s body would go tense and he would squeeze Sam's hand unconsciously. 

Some of the things Steve described made it painful for Sam to here. To hear what they went through and experienced made Sam feel ill. No wonder Bucky didn’t want to speak about it.

By the end of it the sun was just about setting, giving the room an orange glow and everyone was exhausted. 

“Look, we can continue this tomorrow if you need more information but I need to get some rest.” Steve said in a strong confident tone. 

Fury shook his head and dismissed everyone from the room. 

“I’ll drop you all home. You guys are in no condition to drive.”

No one fought with Natasha on that. 

They all huddled up in the Jeep and made there way to their houses. 

Throughout the drive Bucky laid his head on Sam's shoulder and had a small slumber. 

…..

They both were laid up together snuggling in bed with Bucky’s face in Sam’s neck. He was deeply breathing in Sams scent. All of their limbs were intertwined with each other. It was a bit stuffy underneath the light covers even in the boxers they were only wearing, but Sam didn't want it any differently. 

Sam ran his hand up and down Bucky’s back and hummed contentedly. Finally having Bucky’s weight and warmth in his bed again. 

“I’m so fucking happy to be home.” Bucky muttered in Sam’s neck. 

“Me too, baby.” 

They fell back into comfortable silence for a couple more minutes. 

“Thank you, for things you sent me while you were away. You didn't have to. You could’ve gotten caught or something.” Sam said softly. 

Bucy pulled back and looked Sam in his eyes, “I did have to. And I wanted to. It was the least that I could do while being away from you.” He placed a soft kiss on Sams lips and went back to his place in Sam’s neck. 

There was another beat of silence before Bucky broke it again. 

“And thank  _ you  _ for sending me that letter.” 

Sam pulled away abruptly with a smile on his lips. “I didn’t think you’d get it. Nat said it would be pretty risky.” 

Bucky nodded slowly, “ yeah, I got it. Got it actually on the day of my birthday.” Bucky went to nuzzle Sams neck and place a kiss on his pulse point. “I read that letter ever night. Before I went to bed in whatever dank place we were in, I made sure to read that letter. It gave me hope and new strength to get back to you.” 

If Sam could he would’ve been purring. His body was filled with so many different emotions coursing through him that he couldn't pick one on how he was feeling. 

“I love you.” Was all that he said. 

“And I love you.” 

There was so much stuff that they had to talk about and so many things they have to do. But all of that can wait. 

**….**

“No, babe, that doesn't go there. It supposed to go over here.” 

Sam dragged the lounge chaise a couple of feet from where it was originally placed. 

Bucky looked at him incredulously, “are you serious, Wilson? That barely makes a difference.”

“It makes all the difference.” Sam countered. 

It's been six months since Bucky came back to Sam and they have been busy.  Bucky spent a whole week arguing with Fury, saying that he wasn't doing anymore international missions or missions that will drastically put his life on the line. Fury was not pleased with that. 

_ “What's the point of you being one of my operatives if you’re not doing the basics of your jobs, Barnes?”  _

_ “Because I’m one of the best you have and lets be fucking honest you are down people.” Bucky felt anger starting to flare up in his stomach.  _

_ “And what's with this change of feeling, Mr Barnes? You always preferred the more lethal missions.”  _

_ Bucky’s eyes went far away, “I have something to live for. I wanna start to settle down and have a domestic life now.” He turned his attention back on Fury, “I deserve that. I deserve this, Fury.”  _

_ By the end of the week Nick Fury came around to the idea and proposition that Bucky will mostly work at the SHIELD headquarters working with the weapons unit.  _

_ “But, if there is an emergency or a problem that will need backup, I will not hesitate to put you back in the line.” Fury said with sternly.  _

Bucky wasn't really pleased with the second half of his new change but he took it knowing that it's that or nothing. 

Additionally, Bucky started his therapy. It took him a long time to get remotely comfortable talking about all the trauma he has experienced in his life. But little by little he warmed up, bringing up small situations. It was a lot but it was great to begin with. It did take a toll on him, though. Some evenings he would come back and be completely mute towards Sam. He wouldn't say a word for hours. And when he did, it was very limited. But Bucky was getting better and he was trying and that's all Sam cared for. Bucky also agreed that it was helping his mental state. 

Sam was doing great over the past months. Work has been the same. New nurses joined the hospital and exciting and happy news were revealed. Wanda and Vision were expecting a child! The whole office had a small celebration at the news. It wasn't that big, as they were saving it for her last day before maternity leave. 

Over the short months Sam had his mother over to meet Bucky. At first it was a very awkward affair, but Bucky turned up his charm that Sam didn’t even know were there. He charmed his Mama to the moon and back. She left the house that night giggling to whatever Bucky had said to her and teased them about marriage, to which Sam felt his face get hot and tried to steer away from that conversation. 

“Where the hell did the gentlemanly New York charm come from?” 

“Oh, that,” Bucky smiled slyly, “that's always been there baby.” 

Sam scoffed, “I have never seen that from you.” 

Bucky shrugged, “maybe you don’t deserve my charm.” He joked. 

Sam rolled his eyes but started laughing when Bucky threw him over his shoulder and carry him to their bedroom. Which was now becoming overfull with their items. 

Bucky's clothes were everywhere and Sams items were shrewd in mysterious placed. It was an absolute mess. It wasn't just like there were clothes on the floor because there weren't. There were clothes on Sams desk chair that he never uses, a pile of clothes on the floor next to the overflowing laundry hamper, and clothes were spilling out of the closet and chester drawer. The bedroom was just too small for their things. 

But it wasn't just the bedroom that was like this. The whole apartment was just too small for them. They were two grown men living in a small, cramped, three room apartment. It was just not enough for them. 

So, Sam and Bucky spent months looking for a new place to live. It was actually exciting for Sam to be house hunting with Bucky and Bucky was really into it. Mostly asking what Sam was looking for and what Sam wanted. 

In late September they found the perfect place for them to live. It was a condo still in Brooklyn. It was beautiful. It was spacious with tall walls large windows and an appealing living area and a top notch kitchen. And what really appealed Sam was the bathroom. A two person sink, a jacuzzi bathtub and a nice overhead shower. Sam was in love. It had everything and more. 

But the price was ridiculously expensive. It was in a nice area then they were now, and come on, condos in New York are not cheap. 

“It's too expensive Bucky. We can’t.” Sam said as they were laying in their bed. 

“Do you like the place?” Bucky asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Do you wish to live there?” 

“Yes, course.” 

“Well, then it's settled. We are gonna buy that condo.” 

Sam looked at Bucky, “do you think we are made of money?” 

Bucky stroked Sams jaw, “don’t worry. I got it.” 

Sam squinted his eyes suspiciously, “What do you mean you got it?”

Bucky manhandled Sam so he was plastered to his front and kissed Sams neck. 

“Lets get some sleep, sweetheart.”

They didn’t really speak about the condo for a couple of days until on one Tuesday Bucky came home with a manilla file holding lots of papers. 

“What's that?” Sam was in the kitchen starting dinner, stirring the pesto sauce. 

Pulled out one piece of paper and shoved it in Sam's face. 

Sam read it. Then re read it and then re read it again. Then quickly skimmed over it to make sure he wasn't just seeing things. 

“What the fuck?” 

The papers showed that Bucky already paid 60% of the price for the condo room they wanted. 

“Bucky, what the fuck?” 

Bucky started chuckling. 

“Am I not going to get a thank you?” 

“You brought- how? With hat money?” Sam was sputtering all over the place. 

Bucky was smiling so while his eyes were crinkling. “Sam, you forget that I was in the war since 1941. I have major payback and SHIELD has a pretty good pay. So with both of those things. We’re kinda loaded for now.” Bucky pulled Sam into his arms and circled his waist, “so, yeah, we are made of money.” 

Sam's eyes started to well and tears started to flow down his checks. He started laughing and crying at the same time. 

“M’ taken that as you're happy, huh?” Bucky said with a smile plastered on his face. 

Sam sniffled then started to laugh again, “yes, you asshole. Of course I'm happy. You basically brought us our home.” 

Bucky shrugged as his hands gently tug in Sams waist, “I still have 30% to pay off but yeah, I guess.” 

“I’ll help pay it off.”

Bucky shook his head, “no, doll I got it. This is for you.” 

“Bucky. I am going to help you pay off this small percentage.” 

Bucky didn’t say anything. 

“I'm not taking no for an answer.” Sam said in his place. 

Bucky grumbled but still had a smile on his face, “fine. You can help. But not if you have to take extra shifts because of it. I’m only doing this because I know it will make you happy.” 

Sam pulled Bucky into a sincere and long hug. 

“Thank you, baby.” 

Bucky hummed and ran his hand up and down his back. 

They stood there together for minutes just basking in their presence and happy and content mood. 

…..

It's now the middle of January and they are just about settled in their new place. They styled it to make their own, with warm and cozy colors and furniture. His new home is Sam's favorite place. Sam used to love going out on the weekends to go to bars or sometimes the club, but now his favorite thing to do snuggle up in his sofa with Bucky and watch a movie. He thinks he’s getting old but he wouldn't change it for anything else. 

Moving in was a whirlwind. They had a lot of things to move in but it really wasn't that bad as Sam had two super serum soldiers at hand. They lifted things as if they were a feather. 

After that it was just months and months of them decorating and trying to get it as homey as ever. Buying stuff was a weird experience as Bucky had some questionable taste. But it all came together in the end. During these times they’ve had their friends over multiple times for Saturday chilling. And Mama over for Sunday dinner sometime. Life was good. 

“Harder.” Sam moaned. 

Sam was being jostled about on their mattress as Bucky snapped his hips against Sams. 

They were both drenched in sweat and precome. They’ve been at this for about two hours. Both Sam and Bucky had come three times and were now aiming for a fourth. 

“Oh, baby, you look so fucking good.” Bucky mumbled weakly in Sam's ear. His breath was hot and moist against the shell of his ear making Sam shiver of the 100th time. 

“I wanna come.” 

Bucky angled his hips and pistoned his hips right into Sam's prostate. Sam let out a loud yelp and started moaning and whimpering loudly. 

“Oh, fuck, yes, baby.” Sam screamed. 

Bucky sloppily kissed Sam as he continued his rhythm. It was all tongue and spit, but enjoyable for them. 

“Yeah, doll. I want you to fucking come on my cock. Go on, fucking come. I wanna see you.” Bucky was babbling against Sams lip. “Fucking hell, you look so fucking good on my cock, baby. Look at you, fucking gorgeous. Cant believe your mine.” 

As Bucky mumbled these things on Sams skin, Sam was getting hotter and hotter by the second. 

“Touch me.” 

Bucky moved his hand to touch Sams weeping cock and started pulling on it and teasing the leaking head. 

“Ohhhh,” Sam moaned as he started bucking wildly into Bucky’s fist. 

“I’m gonna fucking come looking at you.” Bucky groaned. 

Bucky started snapping his hips even faster on the bed, moving Sam up and down and making their newly bed frame creak and cry. 

“Bucky!” Sam screamed at the top of his lungs and started coming. His prostate was being furiously abused and his cock was being tugged and it all felt so good. 

As soon as Bucky saw Sam come it was his time to explode. He was grunting and groaning and moaning Sam's name. 

Sam was lying dazedly as he felt the others man come fill him up pass his brim and out of his hole. Bucky usually comes for a good 40 seconds before he starts to slow down. So Sam always ends up with a lot of come in his hole and on the sheets of their bed. But Sam loved the way it made him feel. So he didn’t mind. 

“Fucking shit, sweetheart.” Bucky slowly slipped out with a  _ plop _ and flopped beside Sam. He placed a wet kiss on Sams cheek and was staring at him. 

Sam felt the hint of those beautiful eyes on him and he looked over and saw Bucky was as recked as he was. 

“I love you. Actually, more than love.” Bucky whispered. 

Sam smiled tiredly as he put his head on Bucky chest, “yeah, well, I love you more than words.”

Bucky chuckled. 

Both of them were tangled up together and tangled up in their love for each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is complete. I am so happy that I made this story and had the chance to share it with all of you. I am a bit sad that this main story is done, but I have been working on a small instalment making this a series so Im not too upset. I just wanted to thank everyone who read this story. I really made this fic for the us, the Sambucky fandom and Im happy I shared it. Be on the look out for more fics from me because I do have some more up my sleeves.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @itsjustwinterfalcon. Send me prompts or other fic ideas!


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